...Help?

[Mrajbx3]

i wanna look more fem and look fierce and awesome but im all like yeah i dont give a **** but i do like soo much i can wear full makeup and feel fine but i would love long hair but im scared of what might happen hate wise
no to be evil but the girls have it easy androgyne wise because they are seen as tom boy is not looked down on the worst someone might think lesbian
but when a guy dresses as a girl its seen as some sort of sick fetish for kicks

i feel society has to progress because i feel we are still a male centred society and to look more manly is ok cause that is supposed to be strength etc
and then they see woman with power and high jobs men are intimidated, its like to be seen wanting to be more fem is degrading and you "shouldnt" do that

but i want to but im too scared too

can someone help? ...wise words or something?

xx

[ativan]

First thing would be to relax.

Then look through some treads you like, possibly even some ones answers.
Slow down and get yourself right the first time.
Orient yourself to your world, just be you and who you are will become obvious.
Take the time to do it right.

[Pica Pica]

Orientate yourself to your world - they're very wise words.

This androgyne thing can be tough, It's a whole new kind of transition, a transition of attitude to the world. Yes there can be bodily and presentational changes and choices to, but they are part of that orientating the self to the world and are driven by the change in attitude - not the driving force themselves.

Practically I suggest you read the guides on how to shave closely, you start looking after you nails, getting yourself a skincare regime - this will femme you up some, and also (more importantly) help make you feel gorgeous. Then get some masculine female clothes and try them, nothing that shouts female, just subtle - then have a look and see where you want to go next.

More importantly, see how you relate to the world and those around you, try and interact honestly with those you meet - give wholly of yourself in what you do, don't hide parts of yourself, but at the same time don't overemphasise the parts that have hitherto been hidden.

And breathe - this can be quite fun.

[foosnark]

Agreed... the first thing is to relax.

Maybe start with just one token outward gesture.  Something small or subtle, something meaningful to you that will boost your confidence without causing worry about what others might think.  You're not doing this for them, but for yourself.  Keep taking steps as long as that's what you want to do.

Confidence is the greatest thing.  Don't worry about conforming to some kind of androgyne standard; there isn't one.  That's part of what makes it freeing.  Just because some androgynes can rock the beard-and-dress look with confidence and panache doesn't mean we all have to.  I'm done consuming myself with worry about getting up the courage to do that, and concentrate instead on dressing for confidence and happiness.

[Pica Pica]

Don't worry about conforming to some kind of androgyne standard; there isn't one. 

True...however, I'd like to nominate myself for that position. It might be fun.

[regan]

I have to remind myself of this, but for the most part people don't notice and what they do notice they don't care about.  Granted, if you're clocked as a guy in a dress, there might be issues - but everything else is fair game.  We tend to overthink our presentations, where the rest of the world doesn't notice or may not even care.

[RebeccaFog]

i agree with i

Relax. Don't feel pressured. You are the one in control of how this goes. It doesn't have to be done all in one day.  You can test out different looks or garments privately while at home in order to lessen the feeling that you are going too slowly.

I understand your fears concerning public presentation may depend upon whether you live in an open minded place or a place where safety is an issue. Maybe you can find a trans support group where you will feel safe trying out different looks.

Once you acclimate to the process, it can be very exciting.

[LordKAT]

True...however, I'd like to nominate myself for that position. It might be fun.

I guess I can't see you conforming ...except maybe physically.

[Pica Pica]

I guess I can't see you conforming ...except maybe physically.

You misunderstand, I want people to conform to me.

[LordKAT]

You misunderstand, I want people to conform to me.

Now that I can understand.