friend is mean, but justifies it by saying he cares about me

[jillian]

So Friday night we are going to our local trans support group meeting.
After we decided we would go to benihannas.

I was telling my friend and I also told him I might wear my new outfit if I could find shoes to go with it.

He proceeded to tell me I was rushing into this and suggested I hang out at gay bars so I could get hit on. He then said that the whole idea of me becoming a woman was so I could be with a man. I am happily married to the love of my life, so this is not so, but anyways he then proceeded to tell me that he thinks I should sleep with a guy before I go any further.

For the record I have slept with men in the past.

My feelings are hurt right now.

I have a therapist and have kept her informed as to what I do. I dont think I deserve someone basically attacking me.
I dont even go to regular bars, so why would I go to a gay one?

I basically told him I didnt have time for this and hung up, but he was one of my best friends and now my feelings are hurt.

[LordKAT]

It sounds like your friend is just one more who is confused. He don't understand that who you like and who you are are not the same thing. Until he can understand that, I think your friendship may be at a stalemate.

You still have us.

[Brittany:)]

I agree with LordKAT, sounds like your friend is the one who is confused. I hope he comes around, for the sake of your friendship.

[Sabriel Facrin]

I would confront him on being cruel like that...It's not right to hurt a best friend the way he did...and he really shouldn't be peer pressuring his friend to cheat on her romantic other like that, nor should he be suggesting that a transsexual needs to be loved as her from-sex.  The bad mindsets like 'transsexuals are just homosexual people who don't realize it' don't come around to understanding things when left to their own devices, and he shouldn't be allowed to have the oppertunity to take more potshots at your confidence until the point that he might have come around to understanding things...

[Cindy]

Sounds like a clueless dick

Friends don't do that. Friends support. IMO

Cindy

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Sounds the to how all men i told react dont take it to personally most men cant bare the thought of a guy not wanting a penis or being a guy.

[justmeinoz]

How rude! Ex friends do that sort of thing a lot.

Karen.

[AbraCadabra]

My own experience? The younger the cis-male, the more outrageously rude they can get.

My ex-friend was picking on me even in a restaurants (I'm full time RLE!) telling my GP, not to "cut me"! 
In Afrikaans this would mean like to knacker or castrate an animal!

All this inside the restaurant while standing at the doctor's table sitting there with his wife, no less! I was mortified, just try and imagine that!

He also kept telling me to go and first ->-bleeped-<- one of my TG friends to see how well their vag worked!

He went on some other time about: "...when was I going to paint my nails black", etc. etc. Bloody gross SOB male chauvinist pig.

In the end it just got too much for me and we had to split. Essentially I was not any longer the person that he thought I was and he just wouldn't take it, turning extremely chauvinistic towards me.

I don't hate him, but just stopped contacting him. Pity his wife just had a sweet baby-boy and I really missed seeing that little one.
Yet his wife also told me I was "going against God's will".

So, hon, you see you are not alone in all of this. Tell the guy to get off your back and take a hike, um.

'nough said,
Axelle

[jamie nicole]

although he is your friend.....he is also very very clueless.  if wearing your outfit or dressing up to go to your meetings helps with your self confidence then by all means do it and dont give a ->-bleeped-<- bout what anyone says!

and i think we all know we do not "become women" to be with men....if we wanted to do that we'd simply change the "exit only" sign to a revolving door sign! lol