Using the women's restroom.

[BMXJake]

Although this thread is serious, I have a really good sense of humor with everything in my life.

I've found the older I get the more unusual I feel using the women's restroom. Most of the time I don't really care and it doesn't effect me, but there are some times (especially when the restroom is busy) that I feel awkward. I don't bind or anything (but I'm looking into it) but I guess I can pass pretty well, I've had a few experiences where I'll be the only person in a restroom washing my hands, a woman will walk in, go "Oh, I'm sorry!" leave and then come back a second later. Hahahaha  I don't feel ready to use a men's room and there aren't unisex restrooms everywhere.

Anyone else want to share similar experiences?

[Natkat]

I normally use the boys room,
have used the girls room in the past but now I manly go to boys room or handicap toilet if my parrents are there wathing (I dont want any comment for just going to the toilet-__-)

to be honest I dont mind, it just a toilet,
I got many annoying/funny experience..

I remember once I had to go to the toilet, and I didnt want to go to the girls room but I did, however they where all engaged so I snerked into the boys room, as I got out I saw one of my classmate, he where the big muculous guy in my class who could have a bad mouth at times. saying "what the f are you doing in the boys room"
and I just said "all the toilets where engaged in the girls room and I just needed to pee"
he said he thought there where so cool, not to consider whatever it where a guy or girl room, I where really suprized in a good point it where nice..

generally I had alot of problems on my old school because of toilets.. I always wanted to use the male room,
and teacher/parrents where against it

the reaons where "you disturb the other people, they will get embarrased by you seeing there penis"
and im like "oh yeah because seeing some guy pee in a toilet REALLY turns me on" (I know im into guys but im not THAT desperate LOL)

I remember sneaking into the male toilet after I saw my teacher getting out, I knew I would get in trouble so I sneaked in after he where done, unluckely my ex boyfriend where ther and he notice me since I had bought a new hat and it where WAY to obvious it where me, he wanted to talk to me when I got out, about why I got into the guys toilet.. I where like Daaa,, I needed to pee..
but he didnt tell anyone so I where happy..

[KamTheMan]

I stay away from public restrooms as much as possible, but I was traveling with family recently making it extremely unavoidable. I had to drive 12 hours twice as part of it too so I used a lot of rest stops and gas stations. Ladies love to inform me, "Um, you know this is the WOMEN'S bathroom." and I'm all, "Yes, thank you." and walk away. I hate it but I've never used the mens room while presenting as male and it scares the ->-bleeped-<- out of me. I got informed I was in the wrong bathroom I think 5 times and got weird/scared looks every other time. Just the way it goes, I guess. I need to start practicing using the mens room..

[Silas]

I avoid restrooms when I'm with my granddad, just 'cause he gets annoyed when I use the men's. I don't care. XD

I stopped using the women's after this one day at a restaurant with my friend and his parents.
I figured they could see the bathrooms from our table, or his dad might come in, so I went to the women's. An employee was mopping the floors, and when I came in, she looked at me and said, "Excuse me, this is the..." and just stares at me for a really long time with neither of us saying anything. Then she just goes, "Uhm, the seats are wet." Cue nod. XD I love how confused she seemed. 

It's so awkward for me to use the women's, even though I don't pass very well. I use the men's at school, even. I've seen guys in there who've heard people use "she" on me, or have even been told I'm trans, and they've never said a word to me. XD The principal was afraid I'd get raped, but stopped fighting it.

I mean, I even changed from my swimsuit to my regular clothes in a men's bathroom near this lake once. No stall doors, I used the shower and faced the wall. People walked IN. No one said a damn thing. XD

Edit: Remembered something.
First time I was ever IN the men's bathroom -- I was in 8th grade, post-haircut, pre-clothing being taken away. A guy friend and I were screwing around in the hall, he grabbed my backpack, I started chasing him. He went into the guys' bathroom, and I watched uneasily from the door.

Then I grew a pair, stormed in laughing, and went, "Boy, you think I ain't comin' after you?!" and he freaked out laughing that I was in the boys' bathroom. I snatched my backpack from him and walked out with it triumphantly over my head. A few people saw us and just figured we were stupid. XD

[JohnAlex]

I wish I had the guts to use men's restrooms.  but I feel like I don't pass well enough.
Although every couple times, there is a women in the restroom who gives me weird looks. 

I keep telling myself that once I start T, then I will pass well enough to use the men's restroom.  but I don't know if I can get on T soon enough.

[Luc]

Things like this happened to me all the time before transition, but two particular times stick out:

1) Was eating at an Olive Garden, got up to use the restroom. I was 23, masculine-dressing, but not at all trying to pass as a dude yet. A guy followed me into the women's room, walked into the stall, and did what he needed to do. Meanwhile, I'm standing there wondering why there's a dude in the ladies' room. He even looked right at me on the way out, nodded like any guy would do with another guy. I guess he's just lucky he happened to follow a "woman" who was really a man.

2) Age 21, long before transition, I was driving cross-country and stopped at a rest stop in Illinois. As per usual, I walked into the women's room and straight into a stall. When I came out, there were three middle-aged women walking in. As I stood washing my hands, they stared at me, walked back out, walked back in, opened the door to check that there was, in fact, a label saying "Women's" on it, then walked back out. Thankfully, none of them said anything, but they waited until I was out to go back in. I had long hair and was wearing a padded bra!

As for being afraid to use the men's, we all have that problem early in transition. I had some guys give me some funny looks when I first started, but never had an incident. The way I figure it, it's far more likely you'll have the ->-bleeped-<- beat out of you by some girl's boyfriend for being a guy in the women's room, but most men just really don't care enough to do something if they think there's a woman in the men's.

[Lee]

I use the men's room if I seem to be passing well.  I'm not a fan of drama, so if I am looking more feminine or with people who think I'm a girl I'll use the women's.  I used to hate having to pee at my old job.  The boss told me that she was so glad she found me before having to hire a guy because she hated working with men, so yeah I wasn't going to risk outing myself there.    (Though I kind of want to now.  After three years of getting along fine she was having me run the shop.  It would be nice to get her to realize she works great with at least one guy.)

[Henri]

Ah, I was wondering if anyone was going to make a thread on using the women's restroom. Whenever I am out in public I never use any restroom even though I pass most of the time as male, just because usually I am with family and I'm not sure how they'd react to me trying to use the men's restroom.

In school, however, when I do need to go I use the women's restroom. The problem is, I pass as male most of the time, so whenever a girl sees me in there I get a weird look. One time I was just finished using the toilet and ready to leave, when a girl walked in. She saw me and asked "Am I in the wrong place, or are you?" I was so embarrassed at that moment that I just mumbled "Don't worry, you're in the right spot," then I left before she could say another word.

The problem is that even though I pass to people that I don't know, the people that do know me expect me to use the women's restroom. So it is mainly an issue of who am I going to please... I've been thinking of bringing this up with my guidance counselor next year to see if there is some unused or unisex restroom I can use, or even if I have his permission to use the men's restroom or what... I would be really happy if he'd say it was okay for me to use that restroom, because at least then if someone I know sees me I can say I am allowed to be there. My guidance counselor has known me all three years I've been in high school so far and has known me as Henry the entire time, but nevertheless I am unsure as to whether or not he would be supportive of me if I told him that I was transgender and needed to use the men's restroom...

Anyways, it was interesting to hear your guys' restroom experiences, so I figured I'd put one up here too, haha.

[Luc]

Don't know what state you live in, Henry, but I know that at least in the western U.S., they have laws that say transgendered people are entitled to use the restroom that matches their presentation. You can't be legally penalized for using the men's in those places, regardless of whether it's in a school or elsewhere. However, I do know that a lot of places still have laws that make it illegal for someone to use a restroom if they're not that legal sex.

[Henri]

Don't know what state you live in, Henry, but I know that at least in the western U.S., they have laws that say transgendered people are entitled to use the restroom that matches their presentation. You can't be legally penalized for using the men's in those places, regardless of whether it's in a school or elsewhere. However, I do know that a lot of places still have laws that make it illegal for someone to use a restroom if they're not that legal sex.

I live in Florida, so I think I may be out of luck... Though I'm not really sure. I think that for things to work out it might just need to be a tricky combination of some accepting school administrators. From what I've observed my guidance counselor seems to be a pretty accepting guy, but he'll probably have to have it approved through some higher administrator like the principal or something so that's where it might become touchy. I think the best course of action might be to bring up the matter carefully... and if he is accepting, but he thinks someone else won't be, work it out with him where the situation can be explained. Actually, on second thought, the therapist that I'm seeing said something about her being able to go through the school to get it where I have to use some unused restroom. But that just seems like making a big deal out of what to me is just trying to use a restroom comfortably... So I guess I'll just see how the first plan goes and work from there. Or something like that.

[Wolf]

Ugh. The first time I had the balls to use the men's was when I was totally pissed off my head at a pub and I had another drink in front of me. I could not for the life of me hold it in, and I just went for it. The seat was all covered in piss, the floor was sticky and it smelled like ->-bleeped-<- but I came out a happy man. I even went again the same night

I went once more as I was queuing in line at a gig, for about 5 hours and went to pee, as I was walking out a woman walking towards me kindly informed me that 'that's the men's' and I was just like '...I know??'.

Finally I was recently at a club for my 18th and again I was drunk enough to use the men's, there was no toilet paper, so I had skanky boxers that night I have no idea how I would manage a stp, but when I'm on T and had surgery I'll have to learn.

Usually I avoid using public restrooms. Because of the stress I get pee shy, in either toilet (that is why being drunk sways my decision because otherwise I'd wet myself and laugh at it). So again I was at a gig, and I had to pee or I would have had to wait about 5 hours for another chance to pee. But the barrier was up and then I decided to jump over, and a friend queuing with me did too. But like a gig friend, who I've only met twice. And doesn't really undestand my situation. So last minute I went to the ladies. But then I was like, oh ->-bleeped-<-! This girl is waiting for me now. <not allowed>. Why do women do this. I was already finding it hard to pee, I was really upset being in there, but then when I realised I was in a rush I had to squeeze my bladder and then tried to meditate and all sorts. It was horrible. When I came out more people (girls) I knew in the line were waiting. It was humiliating for me, blarghh. Big problem for me to go to a gig like this, because usually I want to wait ages so I'm at the front. But I WILL need a pee, ugh. I hate using ladies rooms, I come out afterwards and I feel utterly awful. After I come out of the men's room I feel smelly and triumphant.

Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

[Lee]

anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

I've heard counting down backwards from 10 works.

[IowaBoy]

Ugh. The first time I had the balls to use the men's was when I was totally pissed off my head at a pub and I had another drink in front of me. I could not for the life of me hold it in, and I just went for it. The seat was all covered in piss, the floor was sticky and it smelled like ->-bleeped-<- but I came out a happy man. I even went again the same night

So it was no different than any other guy using the bathroom.

[Adio]

I don't have to deal with women's bathrooms anymore, but when I did I don't think I ever got weird looks.  Although, I rarely used multi-stall public toilets.  I was so afraid of..I'm not even sure exactly.  It was so uncomfortable using the girl's bathroom in high school.  So I barely drank anything and held it until after school.  Thankfully I didn't have any problems, but that could have ended badly for my kidneys.  I really don't recommend doing that.

My first experience using a men's toilet was in high school I think.  I found a single-stall bathroom in a diner and used it.  This was pre-T/pre-op.  Probably wasn't passing well, but no one cared.  I was so happy though.  It was a difficult, but very necessary, step in my transition.

Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

I whistle to myself.  Either that or imagine I'm sitting on a toilet (because that's what I did, and still do, for many years).  If I really can't go, I wash my hands and leave.  Walk around a little bit.  Then go back and try again.

[insideontheoutside]

For reasons still unknown to me a lot of people out in public don't take me for male at all. I usually look for the unisex toilets or if it's just a small single toilet. I hate the women's restrooms. There have been times where I've gotten "the look" too. Usually from older women or teenage girls. But I don't feel comfortable using the men's restroom either.

[MaxAloysius]

I don't pass at all, so I still use the women's. XZ There have been two noticable incidents though.

I was at a winery with all of my family, and I wasn't feeling too crash hot so I looked like hell, and I went in and used the women's. There were only two stalls, and the other was busy (we'll come back to that) so I took the last one. Then a little girl came in and was going 'Come ON! I need to go to the toilet! Hurry up!' so I rolled my eyes and hurried, then let her in. She just stood there staring at me, then I stepped around her to get to the sink and she slowly stepped forward into the stall. I looked up in the mirror and caught her staring at me around the door. She shut it and I shrugged and left, I looked back at the door and saw her coming out in the mirror. At the end of the little hallway I looked back and she was staring at the female sign above the bathroom door.

It wasn't until I got back to the car with the rest of the family that I found out it was one of our friends in the other stall, she was talking about this little girl who had tapped on her stall wall and gone 'There was a boy in here!'. And I burst out lauging and went 'That was me!' then everyone had a good laugh. It was a really great experience, and made me feel a lot better about myself.

The other time was not that long ago, when I hung out with my best friend who I hadn't seen in ages. We went to see a movie, then at the end were both busting so we went to the toilets, and both of us kind of paused outside the doors and he was just like 'Well this is weird...' as we seperated and went into the different bathrooms. On the one hand I was sad I had to use the women's, but it made me feel awesome that my friend was so used to thinking of and seeing me as male that even he felt weird about me using the women's.

I do get 'the look' every now and then in the women's toilet, but it makes me feel awesome.

[Electric Wizard]

I have learned that I am not missing much when I don't use the men's washroom. The ones I've been in are really gross. Apparently cis-gendered men don't feel any reason not to piss and ->-bleeped-<- all over the bathroom. Among other things. Since I think gender segregated washrooms are stupid anyway, I usually go into whichever one I feel might actually have toilet paper, or one which I will not catch an infectious disease.

[Devyn]

I just don't use public bathrooms. Problem solved.

Actually, when I was in 6th grade, I was so embarrassed to go into the girls' bathroom that I held in my pee anytime I was in public, or I used a family/unisex bathroom. Recently, since I have started passing frequently since around January, I have tried using the mens' bathroom twice. On my birthday, and on my friend's birthday. On my friend's birthday, I went into the bathroom, I was on the toilet but got too nervous to pee because none of the other guys that were in there peeing were making noise, and my pee is loud. So, uh. Yeah.

[driven]

Oh man, I've had so many funny restroom encounters over the years. First one I remember was at a Denny's when I was around 6 or 7 years old. An employee had the women's restroom blocked off for cleaning and I could not make the dude understand that yes, I was a girl and I needed to go in that bathroom, not the men's room. Since then I've had a couple of women follow me out of the bathroom to ask me why I was in there (thought that was a bit weird, but whatever) and I confused the crap out of some poor old guy working at a rest stop in Virginia.

The worst is when I have to ask an employee for the restroom key. I never have any idea which key they're going to give me, so I have to hope it's labeled or just try both doors and see which one opens. Concerts, football games, and other events where there's alcohol are kinda fun, though. The drunk girls will stop and double-check the bathroom door when they see me walking in with them.

[Natkat]

clear facts; guys room are groose, and girls room are crowded.
--
I actually been to a comic-con where there where toilet signs; male; female; unisex;

it where kinda funny like "in caise you dont know " but it where nice for transgender,
I think the reason might have been there many who crossdress to this kind of conventions.