Quote from: Shades O'Grey on July 31, 2011, 07:29:12 PM
But lately, being alone seems to be one of them even though I used to crave solitude. These days, solitude starts a memory fugue which leads to me fuming about what's gone wrong or what is going wrong in my life.
That's me in a nutshell. In fact, that's the lump sum of what makes me moody these days.
I've been alone for 11 of the last 16 years of my life, wanting to be in relationships but always lonely. Then again, I was such a hermit for 10 years that I didn't notice the emptiness I felt without someone special in my life. But since I started HRT, I've become an absolute social butterfly, needing human contact almost 24/7, and thinking of how lonely I am makes my moods bottom out. At this point, I've been single for 3.5 years and I'm dead sick of it, but I never see guys looking at me and they certainly don't approach me or talk to me.
Then I start to wonder if I just look like a freak and I'm not passing, because I see so many stories around the forums of girls who get guys asking them out. I wonder what's wrong with me. I'm out in the world all the time, but nothing happens. And all of my friends are now couples, I'm 34 in September, and wondering if I'll be alone forever.
So that's my moodiness and what causes it every single time. Without fail.
As for making it go away? I can't seem to get this one to go away. It pervades every thought all the time, even when I try to distract myself.