Eating the Cherry First

[OliveLevel]

What do you think of this essay I found:

Eating the Cherry First

At the age of 38 years, with a wife and kids at home waiting, I lay on my back in a hospital in Thailand committing transsexual heresy.

The Harry Benjamin Standards and transsexual lore dictate that SRS is the icing on the cake, a final step in transition for those who have already undergone a social and hormonal transition.

But the cost of that transition is very high.  For many, it means severing family ties.  It means painful adjustment for children.  It means abandoning, perhaps, the career that is the only source of funds that would make SRS possible.  And for me and many others like me the costs outweigh the benefits.  The costs both to me and to others.  I reject the idea that SRS must be the icing on the cake.  Just as there are non-op TS's, there are also non-transitioning TS's.  Is there any reason a non-transitioning TS must forego the comfort of having the genitals they desire?  If it is OK for a person born female to become a male-identified person with a vagina, why is it wrong for a person born male to have a vagina without transitioning?  Isn't the result the same?  Don't get me wrong, if I could live my life over again I'd transition in my teens.  But I can hardly see the value in the painful process transition would be to those I love, and to myself as well at this point in life.  In addition, what would I become?  A man in a dress?

No thanks.  I'm satisfied at this point in life with my little secret, and my "Buck Angel" anatomy.  My wife is resigned to washing my sport bras along with hers (a welcome but somewhat unhandy at times side effect of my 6 months of pre-op hormone therapy and my continuing use of Premarin to prevent hot flashes postop is my B-cup breasts).  She is at peace with my female genitalia, though she'd  rather I hadn't done it.  We have lots of private jokes about it.  Now and then she'll wistfully stroke my crotch and sigh.  And then we both laugh a little.
I think that some people guess there's something a little feminine about me, but I'm not sure.  I think as long as I keep out of the hospital, jail, and the nursing home my secret is safe.  And I have a great deal of comfort and happiness as a result.  Sundae?  No thanks, I'll just eat the cherry!

[Re: Joyce]

First off, I don't believe that essay reflects the true experiences of a real person.

      From what I've been told, the vast majority of those who do transition never undergo surgery.  You may forget the idea that it is a necessity in order to transition.

       Each person who believes they suffer from Gender Identity Disorder can follow the Standards of Care (SOC) to seek their own relief.  According to SOC, each person goes as far along the journey as they each feel necessary to finally realize relief.  Then they stop.  No one is going to force anyone to do any more than they need and there is no one right way to do this.

      I believe that that essay is bunk.

[AbraCadabra]

Hm, fantasy, bunk or what not, even if it is true (->-bleeped-<-e happens!) it makes that person completely dependent on his "wife-relationship". Have you noticed?

How ever SO NICE of her to touch that "man's" crotch and give a wistful... um... oh yeah?

The next thing, if you have GID you WANT!!!! to live as a woman.
It be a horror to me having to go back into that "male prison".

When I had to do it once or twice some month ago IT FREAKED ME OUT!
It buckled my guts, I hated it!
So now that storie's character all of the sudden is OK being a guy, so long he has a vagina?!
Oh really?

Sounds more like a genital fetish to me. Nothing more, nothing less.

OK then, it takes all sorts, but the person does not seem transsexual in my estimate, and BTW that is fine too.
But then one should post that story where folks like to split their penis in half to the root, or women like to sew up the vaginas and such.

Hey, what ever blows your hair back!

Axelle

[FairyGirl]

I'm really tired of hearing people vilify the procedures that many of us not only welcomed but required in order to keep breathing.  If someone makes a bad decision and then later regrets it, then that's something they have to live with.  But they shouldn't go preaching that having surgery is "selfish", or a "dirty little secret", or inconsiderate of others, just because it is a mistake for them.

There is something about the permanence, the irreversibility, of this surgery that I have always found calmly comforting.  Far from it being a selfish or inconsiderate act, it gave me a new lease on life so that I am a much saner and much happier person for it, not giving up on life anymore, and able to give much more of myself to others than I was ever able to as the pathetic shell of a withering ghost I was before.  And no one can ever take that away from me.

This "essay" doesn't even make sense.

[Re: Joyce]

There is something about the permanence, the irreversibility, of this surgery that I have always found calmly comforting.  Far from it being a selfish or inconsiderate act, it gave me a new lease on life so that I am a much saner and much happier person for it, not giving up on life anymore, and able to give much more of myself to others than I was ever able to as the pathetic shell of a withering ghost I was before.  And no one can ever take that away from me.

This "essay" doesn't even make sense.

    And no one can ever take that away from me.

     I love that part the most.  I truly understand the peace that you feel.

     I can literally sit and think of nothing if I want.   I could never do that before.  God Bless Dr. McGinn.

[FairyGirl]

God Bless Dr. McGinn.

Amen, sister!

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

I once encountered a trans-woman a few years back who had genital surgery back in the early 1980s and continued  [including HRT] to live with her wife and children and work as a "male" for "twenty odd" years before finally deciding to live 24/7 as female...If this "eating the cherry first" story has any truth to it, it's possible this person could end up doing the same as the person I encountered...

But all the same, I like a good "believe it or not !" stories....

Metta Zenda

[justmeinoz]

Sounds a bit unusual in that the poster was able to convince everyone they were a typical TS patient wanting SRS.

[OliveLevel]

My suspicion is that this is some kind of fantasy story.  I am aware of one person from Canada who did this, but that person has never claimed to be transsexual.  They were ->-bleeped-<-, and lost their ->-bleeped-<- urges after surgery but continued to live as a male.  This person later stated they wished they had only had orchie, as this would have sufficed.

I think that it does make sense in a way for people who have a life they don't want to give up, but who might find a certain degree of comfort in surgery.  Not wanting to kick over a can of worms, but I can also see that this might be an option for certain autogynephiles.

[Debra]

I'm really tired of hearing people vilify the procedures that many of us not only welcomed but required in order to keep breathing.  If someone makes a bad decision and then later regrets it, then that's something they have to live with.  But they shouldn't go preaching that having surgery is "selfish", or a "dirty little secret", or inconsiderate of others, just because it is a mistake for them.

I agree. Everyone is different. Just because the surgery didn't work for someone or someone doesn't want/need it, that doesn't invalidate others who it DOES indeed work for.