What's the point of T if...

[Sharky]

I think I understand what squirrel is saying. If he doesn't want the changes that comes with T then he shouldn't be on it. If the cons for him out weigh the pros and he isn't happy then it's probably not the best idea. In a few months he could be an acne ridden wookie and if that's worse for him then his current state and he doesn't want the changes for him self then he should probably hold off the T.

[Dominick_81]

again, I understand and respect what you're saying but I highly doubt Dominic feels completely like what he conveyed in the original post. I think he is probably on t for just as "right" of a reason as any of us, but is simply feeling frustrated and disappointed right now. he is allowed to feel both and express that as he wishes.

Agreed. Thanks Ryan.

My opinion is only my opinion and should only be taken as my opinion even if it's not your opinion.

The reason I went on T in the first place is because I realized to myself that I was in fact living for others.  I was more concerned with my mother's image before the family than I was with my own personal happiness.  Once I started living for myself than I was able to have a much more fulfilling life.  It's nice that I pass as male to others.  It is however much more powerful that I pass to myself.

I personally don't think Dominick should be risking his health, hair and longevity just so others will view him a certain way.  I think that is a one way road to major disappointment and depression.  For a major life change like this you should do it for yourself or else you are counting on others to vindicate your decision.  That will never work out well because they don't care about you as much as they care about themselves. 

I told him this before he went on T when he was so concerned about the side effects he is experiencing and complaining about right now.  If he can't see what the point of T is if you only get acne he shouldn't be on it.

I understand what your saying. Getting on T wasn't an easy decision for me. I saw a priest before I got on T. I waited months after I got my first script to start it. What I was waiting for was my mom's approval or acceptance, but I knew I was never gunna get it. I did this for me and so everyone will see me for who I really am. The thought of being trapped in a female body kills me. This was something I had to do to move forward in life. I can't see myself living as female. That's just not me. Although, I feel right now ( b/c of my situation... no money) I'm living a double life in way. Around my family I'm female, not presenting as female, but to them I'm female. (with the exception of my cousins and friends who are trying and using correct pronouns and name/nickname) Around my families friends and out in public they refer to me as she and my real name. I absolutely hate it, but there's nothing I can do right now, not everyone knows I'm trans and if anyone of my mom's friends or grandmother's friends found out they would be embarrassed. Although, my mom did tell one of her friends b/c she was afraid of the side effects of T and what it would do to me. My family is not accepting or un-accepting... they accept me, but not as male. I mean, they will always love me no matter what even if I'm Dominick, they just can't deal/accept it right now. But their not gunna disown me.

I was really upset when the lady called me ma'm, and I thought I was on my way to passing since everyone in the "do I pass thread" kept telling me I passed pretty well. It was just frustrating for me to hear that. Of course I don't want to risk my health, lose my hair and I'm frustrated with acne, but I'm taking steps to treat the acne b/c I want to be seen  for who I really am. When I notice my hair falling out I will take a pill to keep it from falling out. I will take the steps I need to take to make this work for me. Unfortunately, I have no job and no money so I'm stuck at home. But I feel so much better being on T, aside from the acne.  I know someday I will pass 100%. The changes are just coming a little slower than most people.

A question: Don't most people take T so they can pass to others? I'm not understanding what you mean that I'm only taking T to pass to others? Isn't that the point of taking T? So you can pass as male? Other than that, I'm confused what other reasons are there for an FtM to take T besides passing as male?

I think I understand what squirrel is saying. If he doesn't want the changes that comes with T then he shouldn't be on it. If the cons for him out weigh the pros and he isn't happy then it's probably not the best idea. In a few months he could be an acne ridden wookie and if that's worse for him then his current state and he doesn't want the changes for him self then he should probably hold off the T.

I do want the changes. I'm waiting for changes that's why I'm frustrated, I'm not seeing any changes. My changes are coming a lot slower than others, but that could be due to my dosage.

I think some people benefit from T because it seems more natural to them, so it would be good even if they never passed.

That could be true. My reason to get on T was to help me pass and get some of the effects. Like a deeper voice, facial hair, more muscle, fat distribution.

I think my original post was taken wrong by some.

[RyGuy]

Dom- I think squirrel views the ultimate reason for going on t is to be comfortable with your own body, rather than just having OTHERS be comfortable with your body. he's right, that you shouldn't make drastic life changes simply for others, but I don't think you're doing that. you're simply disappointed right now that what you expected and wanted so much to happen hasn't happened yet, and that's perfectly normal. I think it's quite clear that you're not shallow from your posts, but squirrel is right that ultimately you have to be happy in your own skin no matter what others may think, even if that's difficult and frustrating.

[Dominick_81]

Dom- I think squirrel views the ultimate reason for going on t is to be comfortable with your own body, rather than just having OTHERS be comfortable with your body. he's right, that you shouldn't make drastic life changes simply for others, but I don't think you're doing that. you're simply disappointed right now that what you expected and wanted so much to happen hasn't happened yet, and that's perfectly normal. I think it's quite clear that you're not shallow from your posts, but squirrel is right that ultimately you have to be happy in your own skin no matter what others may think, even if that's difficult and frustrating.

I see. Okay, I understand now. I agree. That's all part of it for me too, to feel comfortable in my own body. I'm extremely uncomfortable in my body. Especially with these tumors on my chest. I want my surgery so bad. I feel I'll never get it cause I have no job and no money. Am I the only one who feels like they will never get their surgery?

Yes, that's VERY true, I'm not shallow at all. I'm picky when it comes to myself. Not about others.

[Elijah3291]

A question: Don't most people take T so they can pass to others? I'm not understanding what you mean that I'm only taking T to pass to others? Isn't that the point of taking T? So you can pass as male? Other than that, I'm confused what other reasons are there for an FtM to take T besides passing as male?

I take T..
1) to pass, body hair, muscle, etc
2) because the way the hormone reacts with my body and spirit and make everything click together, in other words its the right "fuel" for my body
3) the mental effects it has, aggression, confidence, less emotion, more control over what i am thinking and feeling

[Squirrel698]

Dom- I think squirrel views the ultimate reason for going on t is to be comfortable with your own body, rather than just having OTHERS be comfortable with your body. he's right, that you shouldn't make drastic life changes simply for others, but I don't think you're doing that. you're simply disappointed right now that what you expected and wanted so much to happen hasn't happened yet, and that's perfectly normal. I think it's quite clear that you're not shallow from your posts, but squirrel is right that ultimately you have to be happy in your own skin no matter what others may think, even if that's difficult and frustrating.

Yes exactly Ryan.    You Rock.

I don't think you are shallow Dom.  If I did I wouldn't be spending so much time typing up messages to you.  I just care about you because you are posting here and asking for help.  I want you to have the best outcome possible for you. 

Another thing to remember is that Right Now is Not Forever.  Even if you can't afford top surgery right now it doesn't mean you never will be able to.  The next corner of your life could hold amazing surprises.

Wonderful things can happen if you are open to them.  That's how it works for me at least.  Elijah is right.  It's all about finding the harmony within yourself.

[Logan]

Umm ... so ... your doctor told you you didn't need a lot of T because your short?? Did anyone else catch that?  ... I'm 5'7" but because my normal levels are so high, I only required .50 dosage (and that's of the 100mg/ml liquid, not the normal 200mg/ml stuff ... which would mean my dosage would be .25 on that) ... and my levels are actually a little high after my first check.  I'm not really sure how much height has an affect on how much you get ... I would ask for a recheck, and ask for the ACTUALLY level, not just the dr's opinion if it's good or not...

[sneakersjay]

I take T because estrogen and progesterone made me crazy.  Literally.  That stuff is toxic sh*t!  Unless you are a woman, of course.  Which I am not.


Jay

[Dominick_81]

Yes exactly Ryan.    You Rock.

I don't think you are shallow Dom.  If I did I wouldn't be spending so much time typing up messages to you.  I just care about you because you are posting here and asking for help.  I want you to have the best outcome possible for you. 

Another thing to remember is that Right Now is Not Forever.  Even if you can't afford top surgery right now it doesn't mean you never will be able to.  The next corner of your life could hold amazing surprises.

Wonderful things can happen if you are open to them.  That's how it works for me at least.  Elijah is right.  It's all about finding the harmony within yourself.

Thanks Squirrel698.

I take T..
1) to pass, body hair, muscle, etc
2) because the way the hormone reacts with my body and spirit and make everything click together, in other words its the right "fuel" for my body
3) the mental effects it has, aggression, confidence, less emotion, more control over what i am thinking and feeling

Agreed.  I haven't really experienced the mental effects... I don't think.

Umm ... so ... your doctor told you you didn't need a lot of T because your short?? Did anyone else catch that?  ... I'm 5'7" but because my normal levels are so high, I only required .50 dosage (and that's of the 100mg/ml liquid, not the normal 200mg/ml stuff ... which would mean my dosage would be .25 on that) ... and my levels are actually a little high after my first check.  I'm not really sure how much height has an affect on how much you get ... I would ask for a recheck, and ask for the ACTUALLY level, not just the dr's opinion if it's good or not...

Yep. That's what she said. Also, I think b/c I told her how concern I was about the acne, that maybe she wanted to get my body use to the T so acne wouldn't be so out of control? Not sure. My 1st T level check was too high. My 2nd T level check she told me it was in the normal male range. I don't even know what the normal male range is so I wouldn't know if it's good or not. I just trust that the doctor knows what she is doing and go with it. Who would I ask besides my doctor if my T levels are good or not?

[meh]

Hang in there, I feel your pain. It's aggravating having to stick yourself in the thigh with a long ass needle 2-4 times a month for months and to not see results you're expecting.

I'm 5 months and 3 weeks on T and I pass 50/50. Recently I've started passing 100% on the phone. Hopefully by a year, I'll start passing 100%. Even if I still don't pass, I'll keep taking T because it just feels right and it'll happen eventually... :3

[Logan]

Maybe you should consider going to weekly instead of bi-weekly ... it should help keep your levels ... well ... consistent.  I can't imagine doing bi-weekly ... I'm a miserable jerkoff the day before I'm do ... and I'm on weekly.

[Da Monkey]

I do mine bi-weekly and I couldn't imagine doing it every week. Maybe because I've been on T for almost 2 years that just seems more of a hassle to do it every week.

When I first started T I was irritable a day or two before my shots as well but I also found that my changes were more noticeable right before the next shot so it does stay in your system for 14 days consistently enough with the right dose.

[Ribbons]

Puberty is a slow process. Guys age at different rates, and this applies to transmen too.

I honestly don't care about passing. I just want my voice to deepen, and I want to grow a Soul Patch.

[brandnewman]

...ya can't pass with it? All ya get is acne, some unwanted hair in some places you don't want it, baldness, ect... what's the point of T if your not gunna pass as male with it? I've been on T for a little over 6 months now and I just got back from the store and while I was checking out, the girl kept calling me ma'm. I wanted to die when she was doing that. I didn't feel comfortable correcting her b/c she saw me as female and other people were around, it was so embarrassing. I thought at 6 months I would be passing. Apparently not. I was dressed in black jeans and a black shirt with writing and a black jacket. And of course I was all bind up. My chest is not as flat as I want it to be, but it does pass as being flat enough. How long do you have to be on T to pass as totally male?

If and when I'm able to grow facial hair I'm doing it. I know my mom will be upset, but it's so upsetting being seen as female, especially out in public. That whole experience put me in a really bad mood.  I wonder what made her see female instead of male? Even when I spoke, I still got ma'm? My voice isn't girlie anymore. I thought my voice was male? My voice isn't real deep yet, but it should pass as male. Frustrating!

When people see you as female and use female pronouns in public, do you correct them or let it go?

I understand your frustration.

I've been on T for three months. I'm doing it because I want to be seen as male by other people. I am starting to pass in some situations, but not others. It really depends. I am patient on most days, and sometimes I am not, and I need to remind myself that like everything else in life, this is a process and it takes time (and it depends on my genes, which I cannot control). I know FTMs who still get called 'Ma'm' occasionally after years on T. So, I'm trying not to fret too much for now. It'll take however long it takes, and the most important thing for me right now is that my partner and my friends see me as male.

I do not correct strangers right now. I really believe in being gracious and compassionate towards those who perceive me as female. Not judging other FTMs who might feel differently, but this is just the way I handle these things in my own life. I will probably start correcting people when it feels important to me once I get my legal name change.

[Elijah3291]

I have a male friend who I used to work with, he had really long hair and wore pink shirts. People always said "oh, excuse me young lady..." and one guy even spanked his ass in the store. Trust me, totally priceless when he turns around and says "yes, how can I help you?" Used to be running jokes between us as I was sometimes "mistaken" for male from the back.

haha! im growing out my hair, i wonder if that will happen to me

[insideontheoutside]

I take T because estrogen and progesterone made me crazy.  Literally.  That stuff is toxic sh*t!  Unless you are a woman, of course.  Which I am not.


Jay

Men have measurable levels of estrogen and imbalances in those levels can lead to disease, etc. but if they're in balance, you're healthy and fine. I truly believe it's hormone imbalances that cause a lot of problems. For plenty of trans guys, bringing up their testosterone levels is what makes them feel more in balance. But whether you're male or female you've got both types of hormones. For me, more testosterone put me way out of balance. There may be an "average" out there that medical people subscribe to, but I think each body is different. What may be toxic to one person, another person might be ok with. The real issue is discovering what the balance is.

As for what's the point of it, well it's personalized obviously. It's mental and it effects your body. If it helps you to live a happier life and it isn't super detrimental to your overall health, then that is the benefit you get from it. It won't magically transform you as if you were born into a perfect male body, but if you can't live with the rest of society dealing with you as if you were a women and have no chance of "passing" with out, again it might benefit you.

[Elijah3291]

Maybe Elijah! Wouldn't it be totally validating though, when people stumble over themselves to correct their mistake.

totally! haha

[Alessandro]

Hmm well for me personally the 'point' of T is to stop having periods, stop sounding like a girl and get the correct muscle and fat distribution for my identity.  It's not really about passing when out and about (though that would be nice too).  It's more about being comfortable looking in a mirror and inhabiting your own form. 

[ravij]

Hmm well for me personally the 'point' of T is to stop having periods, stop sounding like a girl and get the correct muscle and fat distribution for my identity.  It's not really about passing when out and about (though that would be nice too).  It's more about being comfortable looking in a mirror and inhabiting your own form.

This is how I feel too.

[mm]

So true Alessandro, my thoughts, to get rid on my red tide every month would be the greatest.  Then having the correct voice would make talking with others so much easier.  And having the correct contours on your body to be a true guy.