OK
Today I gathered every single bit of courage I have ever produced in my life and went to class as me.
As I said on a previous post, I knew I'd end up arrivinng late for class somehow and that is exactly what happened. I guesed wrong that I'd be alone, I had a friend with me! So that made the process easier.
My new avvie is from a picture I took just before going to class (as of the day of this post of course!) I was wearing the following plus eyeliner:
I had went to class before with a few pieces of female attire, but this is the first time I went in full. I was wearing oxford shoes, as I thought heels would be just too much and I don't want anyone to have epileptic attacks over how I am dressing
So, when I arrived the class was full. We had students of both the 5th and 6th years of medicine school there, about 70 people. Half of these people never saw me en femme and don't know about my transition. Only 6 or 8 of everyone are close friends. So I walked in, shoes go "click click click" everyone turns back to look at me. Like...
every.single.person.. I heard a "oh my god"
I went as if nothing was happening. Noticed there were two girls looking at me with a certain degree of admiration and not with "oh-my-god-I'm-seeing-a-ghost" and I picked up a seat next to them. Then I saw class as normal.
Class was over soon and thank god because I REALLY NEEDED TO PEE and there was NO WAY I was going to stand up, receive the scrutiny of 70 people again (and a merciless scrutiny at that) then get back to sit again. Cursed spiro, I say!
As I left, some folks gave me odd stares as in "What the hell is going on". They weren't disgusted, scared, or anything, they just didn't get it. I spoke with a few friends who had seen me as me before, they gave me smiles and we talked as normal. After that, I went to have lunch and went to my night shift (med students do night shifts, plenty of em) but back in boy mode.
I did get a bit of attention at University when walking around, but mostly people just pass by without much thought. So it is full time as usual, exceptions are the students who already know me, they do give odd stares. A similiar situation happened today when I was leaving the elevator to the garage. I meet a neighboor who had seen me as a boy and his wife, who didn't. She smilled and said hello, he gave me "the look" and didn't reply to my hello.
Talking about this, I really need a female wallet.. because my male one is looking weird. And I really need to keep my ID in a place where people can't look at it casually when I open my wallet to pick up monies.
Or get a new id
