So I have a question about bathrooms.

[Sasamu]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

So when I go to the bathroom I go to then mens, get in a stall and stand up to go. I don't want to feel self councious if I go sitting and I have this paranoid feeling someone might find out if I do otherwise. But the problem is when Im standing up I have to pull my pants down about mid thigh. So I'm worried someone will walk by and see through the little crack and well that would be emmbarrasing so are there was of peeing standing up without having to pull my pants down so far?
I'm thinking about using a STP but I would rather not have to carry that around in my pocket. >.<

[bowtiesarecool]

Actually, I'm pretty positive they make STP devices that can be used as packers as well. I don't have experience with them personally, but it seems like a much better (and more sanitary) option. Some cisguys do sit, as well, it's just a personal preference and from what I have heard it's not all that uncommon.

[mm]

Sasamu, my experience is that no guy ever looks through the little opening around the stall door; they just do their business and are out of the restroom fast, many don't stop to wash there hands.  I sit all the time in the men's room; I haven't found a STP that works consistently for me and I don't want drips down my legs and having to try to wipe them up afterwards.  I am pre-t and still have to change my tampons in the mensroom every month; I  try to do that when there is no one else in there.  I wrap the old one well in tissue and push it down in the trash bin.  The biggest thing about using the men's room is be confident and go in do your business and get out, no one will ever notice or question you has been my experience.  Men don't spend extra time in there and there is very little talking.

[dalebert]

I can almost assure you, as a cis male, that this sort of anxiety is almost completely in the minds of trans men. It's like was just said--it's a kind of homophobia, I think, that makes men completely ignore other unknown men in a public restroom. Other men are like ghosts and their existence is not to be acknowledged.   When you see guys at the urinals, watch them go to extra effort not to turn their heads even slightly to the left or right. They're either looking down to aim or looking str8 ahead. If they see a guy in a stall, they'll assume he's got #2 or maybe that he's pee shy which a lot of people are and just wants more privacy. They don't even care. When a guy has #2, he practically always pees while sitting first. I go into the stalls just to get tissue to blow my nose. I don't worry about what guys are thinking. No one wants to be caught looking into a stall! I've been in need of a stall and found I couldn't open the door and wondered if it was stuck or occupied and, with a tremendous amount of anxiety, making sure no one in the restroom would see me, I would try to just BARELY peek under the door to see if there are feet in there knowing that the guy inside (if it's actually occupied) will realize it no matter how discreet I'm trying to be, and then he'll be all creeped out and think I'm a pervert...

We got our own screwy issues, I tell yah. Male behavior in public bathrooms provides a lot of material for stand-up comedians. Really, stop stressing about this so much. I know you've got plenty to stress about until people get more educated about trans issues so save your anxiety for all the other stuph.



BTW, I violated the rules of this diagram the other day and went ALL the way to the left urinal. And then I got some anxiety because it made me seem overly timid as opposed to just respectful of space bubbles. Guys are basket cases... really.

[Sasamu]

Thanks guys. Haha dalebert you make the situation just sound really funny. Well thinking about what you've all said I've noticed too that men don't talk to eachother and there only that occasional glance. I'm not so worried about this now. Thanks, again.

[Sephirah]

Hon, if people are interested in you relieving yourself in the men's room to the point where they actively start looking at what you're doing, there's a fair chance they have other things on their mind than whether you're trans or not.

It genuinely doesn't happen. About the only two things that guys care about with regard to other guys in a men's room are:

1. That they don't get splashback from someone else.

2. That someone hasn't let one off to the point where they fear asphyxiation.

[dalebert]

I'm not so worried about this now. Thanks, again.

Glad to hear it.

[mm]

dalebert,  I have been in restrooms with urinals with no divides at all between them and have wondered how guys use them with guys on both sides on them going too.  I am hoping the find a STP that I could use at an urinal.  I have been in several men's rooms where the urinals are completely separated from each other by walls like stalls without doors.  I think I could use a STP in those cases if I was satisfied that it wouldn't leak all over me, at least no one can see what I am doing.

[Make_It_Good]

I think Dalebert really hit the nail on the head there :p
Alot of it is about you just feeling confident, or atleast, not worrying and working yourself up about things.

Though some stps are not cheap, I think the one I have, which Ive had for 4 years now, cos about £60, (which I saved for ages for :p), Im glad I got it and if people are serious about it/peeing in public is a big deal to them, investing in an stp, especially a good, passable one, is a good idea!
The one I have is the Mango one, (though warnings to anyone using their site, their service is NOT good) I use it as a "packer" too, and it passes enough in public bathrooms. I mostly use it on nights out as I know I will be needing to go to the toilet alot once Ive broken the seal! :p
Just Tuesday night I was out, and in the club toilets, instead of having singular urinals, they had the one long open one that spans two whole walls! I used that, (I go for the corner/end, if no corners are free, Ill use a stall. If no stalls are free, Ill wait for one and moan, drunkly about it being too busy :p).
However, it took ages to build up my confidence to this.
Ive never had any problems with using urinals, or using stalls for that matter.
I did have one guy once, seem to look over, and I think he may have noticed something peculiar about my "downstairs", but instead of panicking, thinking, crap, he knows! I just glared at him for looking at me, and the tables were turned :p

[mm]

 Make_It_Good, I have seen those long urinal that go the length of a wall with  no individual separations.  I couldn't use them at this time and don't know if I could once I get a STP that works for me.

[luna nyan]

Make_It_Good, I have seen those long urinal that go the length of a wall with  no individual separations.  I couldn't use them at this time and don't know if I could once I get a STP that works for me.

Those type of urinals are very common here in Australia.  There's been a slow shift away from them to individual urinals as saving water has become more important over time  (the smelliest ones I've ever come across are the waterless urinals - ewwwww!).  Mens bathrooms are gross - sometimes I think some cis males really should go and do some sort of remedial course or learn how to use a STP given how bad some of them aim!

Regardless of the type of urinal, the unwritten rules are still the same worldwide - eyes front, upwards or downwards, no deviating to the left or right.

Dalabert, your picture cracks me up - that is so much like the sacred rules of urinal use *lol*  The pic has broken one rule though - you're supposed to line up from the middle one so that more guys can go at the same time

[Sasamu]

@ Make_It_Good
Where did you get your stp from? A realistic one would be really nice when I go to the mens.

Haha and I agree those 'rules' are really silly.

[Christopher_Marius]

In addition to not wanting to look at one another in the mens' room, also remember that people see what they expect to see.

So if someone is in a mens room, they expect to see men, they'll see you and unless there's some thing super obvious and eye-catchingly feminine about you, their brain is going to file you away as male and forget about it.


There's multiple unisex bathrooms @ my school, though, which is pretty much the only place I go that's in public, and honestly I just prefer to use that one b/c it's much more private... Only one person can go in at a time, and the door locks, and lots of people use it so I'm just liek...hyuup.

[MiaOhMya!]

omg I will likely never see such a display of men trying to prove they're not gay as I used to see in the men's toilets. Guys even try to not look at themselves in the mirror to check themselves or fix their hair at risk of coming off as a priss. Its honestly ssoooooo ridiculous!! Life as a male is a constant practise in proving you're not gay...omg so absurd!!!

Men do get pee shy...its tru! I never used the urinals back in the day, they're  just too open! Its a very common behaviour.

[Make_It_Good]

Luna Nyan, I agree, theyre pretty grosse in there!
I only seem to come across the long unrinals in clubs, thankfully in other public bathrooms, theres atleast some sort of divide or individuality!

Sasamu - I got mine from Mangoproducts. Its called the Mango, or pack and pee, I dont remember if they changed the name. I got the coffee colour, as itd look better for my skin tone (Im mixed raced), but I think theyve discontinued that now and only do the pinker tone. I would warn you though, while I did use them 4 years ago and everything was fine, they are constantly "updating" or "sorting problems", so they do sometimes take for ages to get back to you. Ive known of people (and I did once since having no problems ordering), purchase something, they take the money and you have to PERSIST because sending your order, can get caught in their backlog. Just a (long :p) pre warning there.
  Ive successfully ordered twice from them with no hitches, but the third attempt at buying, ended in me only getting my money back around 8 months later after hassling.

MiaOhMya! - Itd be GREAT if the toilets really looked like that!!