After you transition, does anyone recognize you?

[Cody Jensen]

Just wondering, after you transition and pass and all that, if you didn't see someone for a year and didn't tell them you transitioned, would they still recognize you by your face somehow?

[Al James]

Not exactly an answer but i'm 39 and get recognised by people i went to school with. I havent been on T long enough to see any facial changes but if people can recognise me after 20 years i'm thinking that they'll probably recognise me after T or at least think i look familiar

[cynthialee]

I had just that happen a week ago.
The people who ussed to live across the street from me moved 2 years ago.
Last week I was in the local general store and the lady that ussed to be my neighbor was in there, well she looked at me a little wierd then it dawened on her who I was and she asked me how my poppies are doing this year.


Owell, can't win them all.

[Nikolai_S]

Depends on how well you know the person. There was a girl I took some classes with a few years back, didn't see her after that, then ran into her after a few months on T and she seemed to recognise me, but didn't connect the dots - asked if I had a sister instead. Then there was a guy who owned an art shop in town, who I'd had a few long conversations with last year, partially transitioned, pre-T, and I saw him again last month and he didn't recognise me at all.
Voice is a different matter. Even my grandmother doesn't recognise my voice now.  😀

[Aussie Jay]

About a month ago, I did actually meet a woman I used to know many years ago. I knew who she was and it was interesting to see the process it took for her to remember me. The first time I told her her old address and she was like 'yeah.. how'd you know that!!??' lol it was entertaining!

I didn't tell her who I used to be.. But I think our mutual friend must have informed her a little of my past or she stalked me on fb, and the next time I met her she knew where to place me in her past - but she has never said anything about who I used to be. And never missed a beat of calling me Jay or he etc. It's weird because I don't think I look THAT different on T!!

But I can let you know for sure in a few months haha - I have my 10 year high school reunion!! And to be completely honest - I'm quite scared... 

[Al James]

But I can let you know for sure in a few months haha - I have my 10 year high school reunion!! And to be completely honest - I'm quite scared... 

. That is really brave- there is no way id go to a school reunion

[Aussie Jay]

. That is really brave- there is no way id go to a school reunion

Thanks mate - brave I feel in this instance may be interchangable with stupid!! To be honest I haven't booked my tickets yet - but I think I would like to go. I think!!! If only to see the friends I still speak to 🙂 Of course all those friends are female - I had very few male friends at school after the first puberty took hold... But at this point it unfortunately means going back and presenting yes as male but I am pre top surgery and probably will not have had my hysto by then either.

*Sigh* we will see...

[yaka]

Thanks mate - brave I feel in this instance may be interchangable with stupid!! To be honest I haven't booked my tickets yet - but I think I would like to go. I think!!! If only to see the friends I still speak to 🙂 Of course all those friends are female - I had very few male friends at school after the first puberty took hold... But at this point it unfortunately means going back and presenting yes as male but I am pre top surgery and probably will not have had my hysto by then either.

*Sigh* we will see...

I'd be too self-conscious to go to mine..after all it is a same-sex school!

[Aussie Jay]

Lmao sneasel!! Spose least mine was co-ed!!

[Ratchet]

Just wondering, after you transition and pass and all that, if you didn't see someone for a year and didn't tell them you transitioned, would they still recognize you by your face somehow?

Actually, the funniest thing happened a month or so ago. We were doing a sidewalk sale at work, and I was the man on guard outside for it. And a couple of girls came up looking at stuff, it was around the last days of the High School here. And one of them just stared at me for a moment and asked me if I went to the High School. I told them I graduated and one of the girls went, "You were in my Ceramics class! You sat in the back, 2nd period, right?" I found it hilarious because I was pre-everything then. I present as "Jay" and male to my classmates, teachers probably knew different by my class paperwork but most just avoided pronouns just used "Jay" instead.

Many people from High School still recognize me. Even people from when I presented as female, it just takes them longer to "get it".

[Dominick_81]

Yep. I've been recognized after being 6 months on T. It was my 1st grade teacher. I haven't seen her in years. But she told me I looked exactly the same that I haven't changed one bit.  I was like, "really?" And she was like, "not one bit". Kinda frustrating to hear. I told my mom what she said and my mom said I didn't look the same, that I have changed. So I dunno. And one guy recognized me about 20 years later. I don't remember him but apparently he remembers me when I was a kid ridding my bike all the time at my old house.

[Adio]

Occasionally.  But mostly when I have to show something with my mom's name on it.  Most people around here know who she is.  So my "emergency contact" will out me or at least prompt further questioning.

I had a postpartum patient recognize me, but only enough to ask if she knew me somehow.  We were friends in high school.  She couldn't recall who I was and I could see it was bothering her.  So I gave her hints (her partner was in the room; I didn't know him) and she eventually figured it out.  She seemed very surprised and just said "you look different!"  We laughed and I asked her to be discrete with the information.

Another girl seemingly recognized me not too long ago.  I have a significant amount of facial hair and was post-op at the time.  She didn't ask any questions until I had to give me application with my mom's name on it.  Then she launched an investigation, asking me progressively more personal questions.  I was very uncomfortable and couldn't exactly lie.  When asked if *birth name* was my sister, I said "sort of" and left it at that. 

[DogDeadByRaven]

Hard to say for me as pretty much everyone thats not in my family cuts ties with me when I transitioned. I know a few of my parents friends thought I looked familiar though I think a lot of that is because I look a lot like my dad before and after. I think I look quite a bit different though and I'm sure that none of the people I went to school with would recognize me if I went to my high school reunion next year.

[skakid]

I'm pre-T, but people didn't even recognize me when I first cut my hair.

[Cody Jensen]

Thanks for sharing your experiences guys! I'm not sure about myself. I am pretty sure my family would stop talking to me after I came out. My dad for sure anyways. But I was more interested in if my friends would recognize me. I guess we'll wait and see.

[J.T.]

I once stood right next to someone who I used to sit behind at our baseball team's games (we had season tickets) before I transitioned.  We moved further down the next year but she had my number and we would wave at each other etc.  Anyway, she had NO clue that it was me standing next to her.  No sign of recognition.  I had also dropped 60 pounds, already had chest surgery and had started T.  I didn't say anything.

I went to my 10 year reunion about 14 months after I started T.  Some people recognized me, some didn't.  It was interesting.

[anibioman]

im not exactly post transition but im 16 now and pretty masculine looking people i havent seen for 2 maybe 3 years most dont recognize me like walking down the street. if im in certain places they can use process of elimination to remember me. this women named heather who is a friend of a friend of my parents recognized me after a really long time, but thats because i was at a common friends house, talking to my brother making it really easy to figure out who i am/used to be.

[Ryan]

I've had people call me out in the street before by my birth name. I've also had a fair few "nice to meet you"s from people who I assumed still knew who I was.
It completely depends on the person for me, but I've noticed girls to be far more observant.

[PandaValentine]

Two months on T, I happened to be sitting outside with an old friend and I guess it'd been a long time since I seen my neighbor  (he works nights so he sleeps during the day) and he did NOT recognize me. LOL. He thought I was some guy friend of myself.

Back in April (probably nine months on T) another old friend of mine was talking with me in front of her grandfather's house and she tells him it's me *using my birth name, and he literally had no idea. This was a man that I spent my childhood around, lol! In the same day, a woman on the street who's son I used to babysit thought I was another old friends younger brother.

So do people still recognize me... apparently not. But I find that hard to believe because I don't see major changes. I can't wait to lose some of this T gained face fat, see if that makes it harder or easier to recognize me!

[sneakersjay]

No.  They don't.  Not when you are fully transitioned.  Early on, yes.

I have run into a lot of people who knew me before, who have no idea I am the same person.  If I don't care about them, I just introduce myself as Jay, as if I have never met them, and life goes on.  If I care, I might tell them (hasn't happened yet).  One was a former client who hated me.  After I saw her, she loved me!  I thought that was hysterical she had absolutely no idea I was the same person.


Jay