Families

[espo]

How close are you to your families? Do you connect? Do you get along ? Do they get you're not a typical cis person who is going to follow the sterio typical life pattern of marrying and babies ect. Do they get that the paths your siblings or relatives took just might not be available for you to take even IF you wanted to?
Do they even acknowledge that SOMETHING might be a little different for you ?

[foosnark]

My parents are cool with it.  But then, my dad is an ex-hippie, and my brother was born female and came out as a lesbian a few years before then coming out as FtM (and our parents have been very cool with him).  So when I told them about my gender non-binariness, all I got was "shirts with buttons on the left side?  LOL!  I thought this was something big!" from my dad, and advice about nail polish from mom.

My brother is also accepting, though he considers himself male with a weird medical history rather than a trans guy.  Fair enough.

My wife pretty much knew what was going on with my gender before I did, is bisexual, and wonders why this was such a major deal for me to put a label on.  She's helped me with clothes (we're a similar size) and advice.  She alternates between treating me *exactly* how I'd like, making me feel a little weird about it mostly in areas I haven't figured out yet, and occasionally making me feel like I've meesed up something a 14 year old girl would get right.  (What can I say, my fashion sense is, shall we say, intermittent.  I wish I could blame growing up in the 80s.)

[foosnark]

...all that said, I'm not sure any of them quite understand, even if they accept.  I suspect my parents basically see it as crossdressing, and my brother hated being in the middle during his transition so I don't know what he thinks of someone who identifies as that state.  My wife might or might not get it; she seems to mostly understand me yet has said before she doesn't get trans peoples' innate sense of being the other gender from how they were born.

I'm not sure I understand it either sometimes; other times it seems blindingly simple.

[Pica Pica]

When I first entered this whole world, I thought I was TS and came out as such.

My parents were mixed in their support and told me that they thought that I wasn't a woman, but maybe not quite male at the same time. The friends I told said the same thing. That they didn't feel I was female but if such a thing as 50/50 existed, I'd be that.

So I looked for the concept and found androgyne, and at first thought it was an insult, a downgrading of the real pain I was feeling and a watery half-arsed dump bin for the freaks. But in time, I began to communicate with the folks here, get excited, identify with them and identify as them. I realised that androgyne was a legitimate journey to make.

Now, I never 'came out' as an androgyne, partly because it was them who called me one, and partly because I didn't see how that it would change anything because I was finally learning who I was and to be all of myself at once, instead of parts of myself at times. None of this seemed like something to come out about.

Since then my relationship with everyone, including my family have got stronger and stronger and I am much closer to them than I was. A few months ago I got an email from my Dad, which said;

'We love to hear you laughing and enjoy your unique take on life.  You are a one-off character and I take much pleasure and joy in that.'

- It's the closest thing he has ever said to being proud of me, and so I am proud of us for it.

[barbie]

My ->-bleeped-<- is not a serious issue to my family and relatives, but my dress often becomes a suject of debate. My dad knows and understand ->-bleeped-<- and homosexuality. My wife washes my women's underwear such thongs and bras for me. Sometimes she takes my women's fashion items without asking my permission. My dad does not like my body exposure in summer. My wife does not like my wearing tube top. My kids do not like my long hair. But they do not strongly object and just endure my queer appearance.

My long hair alone induces a lot of marvels and questions among my aquaintances. I do not use the term 'androgyne' to them, because they do not know well about it. Transgender is an easier term.

Barbie~~

[espo]

Every problem or situation I come across is viewed like, If I would just stop piss'n around and grow up ... Like regular people don't have problems.

[ativan]

I have contact with my Mother through FaceBook, My father passed away almost 10 yrs ago. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers. They have in their own warped sense of the real world consider me to be a low life always looking or wanting something from them. I have made more money than all of them put together and have achieved international recognition. I asked one brother if I could stay at his house the first time I started to have uncontrolled mental/emotional breakdowns. This was about 8 yrs ago. I hadn't talked or seen the rest of them much, if at all, for the last tn yrs. My brother? he handed me money (like I needed it) and told me to get out of his house for being such a bastard all my life.

Save for one sister, the rest are or have been all their lives, drug addicts and alcoholic, some both. They have all recieved state aid for at least part of their lives, for at least over a yr. One sister did from the time she graduated high school up until just a few yrs ago.

I had State funding under a new program when I got out of high school and was a full time student for three yrs. I scored so high on their acceptance test that they wanted to use me as an example of just what the program could do.

About half of the last5-6 yrs, I have recieved help from the state to get the medical help I needed. I could have asked for more and would have recieved it, also had I wanted.

About a year ago, because my daughters had me going on FB, I asked around to the family if they cared to be on friends lists. They either declined or put weird stipulations on it.
To this day and any day that comes up in the future, I will not accept them as being family, with the exception of my mother.
I've made this quite clear to all of them. I do not even wish to be notified should one of them die or anything tragic happen where they could use a little help. This whole decision I've made has freed up a lot of emotional baggage I have had to carry for them and myself. I have not even for an instant felt this may be the wrong decision on my part.

They have absolutly no idea or even a clue about my Transgender status as an Androgyne. The severing of all ties has been extremely refreshing and has allowed me to work on myself in relative peace and quiet. I know it may sound selfish of me to be doing this, but it's not. Their lives are the same and mine has gotten much better over the last 10 years.

Ativan

[Shana A]

I initially came out to my family as M2F, and told my all parents/siblings. Not everyone understood it, and there were sometimes issues, but they were still basically supportive of me. A year later I came out to them as neither gender, and they seem to get this now, although it has taken many years and many discussions to get to this point.

Z

[barbie]

To this day and any day that comes up in the future, I will not accept them as being family, with the exception of my mother.
I've made this quite clear to all of them. I do not even wish to be notified should one of them die or anything tragic happen where they could use a little help. This whole decision I've made has freed up a lot of emotional baggage I have had to carry for them and myself. I have not even for an instant felt this may be the wrong decision on my part.

I can grasp the difficulty and emotion you have got. One of my younger sisters usually has very strong opinions. Once we had a kind of quarrel. She brought up all familiar justifications for her objection to my crossdressing including my kids.

Nowadays she no longer brings up that issue. It is surprsing that some people can be so opinionated and do not tolerate their transender siblings even after a long time.

About 8 years has passed since my coming out. Now most people around me seem to be adpated to my appearance and life style. As long as I keep a stable job to sustain my family, none is allowed to intervene my family affairs including my ->-bleeped-<-. My kids love me, and I love them. That's it.

Barbie~~

[shelly]

Dad died when i was 4, mum always states i would of turned out different if he had still been around. Came out to mum as being M2F and she was distraught, went on to say if i ever turned gay she would dis own me (like to point out she is now nearly 80 and very stereo typical) became very close to my sister, i think she liked the idea of having a sister. When i told mum i was no longer going to carry on with hormone treatment, she was over the moon and said she new i would see sense in the end, treated it like some kind of phase i was going through i guess'

Nowadays its never mentioned and all swept very much under the carpet, mum still knows i dress up from time to time and relationship with sister has become very distant. Think it great that some andros get support off families, i have a wife who very much gives me a free reign to do as i please and a couple of children i am trying to educate about the fact that not all boys and girls  maybe what they appear to be, feel this is very important in the hope that in their later life they will become more understanding to people who live a life away from the norm.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

Father did everything in his power to separate me from my boyfriend.
I once came to father, sister and mother, but not much changed in the end.
5 years ago father and mother finally separated after like 15 years of trouble.
Mother still hates father.
Father is dying.

One sister moved to another country, though she might come back some day.
The other sister is having a "normal" life, being a productive member of society and all. Daughter.

While I was in another state, 2 years ago, I started hormones. I was living on my own, sort of, and had my husband by then.

Husband is VERY supportive and VERY understanding, in his youth he had some sort of natural ->-bleeped-<-, in which lots of people thought he was a girl and he seemed to like it, but eventually sort of grew out of it. I dont know if he may at some point come out as transgender, although it is unlikely. He is very gay, though. And I love him so much.

Uhm, So yeah, I never did told anybody I was transitioning and all.

When I came out, it was as "->-bleeped-<-" mother asked me if i wanted to do more, and I said either "i dont know" or "no I will stay as ->-bleeped-<-", or some such. Father said I was "running away from the responsability of being a man" although the irony is that father did always run away from the responsability of being a father.

So yeah.

Nobody really cares, they just seem to let me do my own thing and still call me as my male name, male pronouns and so on.

This last few times we've been together, I feel really awkward being with them. They are so female, and I feel like a lumberjack dressing with "girlish" clothes. And they're not even that femenine.

All in all, I'm pretty sure this is the last time we're going to see each other, and i don't know what to do really.

Mother wants, expects, me to fix her life. And all her troubles, she's made herself. And father's troubles.

Father is going to die sometime within perhaps a few years. Who knows. Liver failure and dialisis(word?), every day at least 4 times.

Other than that, I feel like an outsider in here. Although we are blood-related and thus share many traits, it seems that they see everything in a tone and language completely different, as to be unparseable.
So I will move on, and not look back.

Not doing that would be sin.

[Taka]

my mom stated very clearly to me not too long ago that she'd have serious difficulties accepting one of her children as gay or transsexual. so i guess i won't ever try to come out to her about anything. not that she matters too much, she's a person who pries too much in my business and tries to control my every action like i'm some extension of herself, and i can't remember her doing much other than disagreeing with my father on all points even after their divorce. and he did the same, so i don't really regard him as much of a father

my sibling are different. we all seem to have a pretty close relationship. my oldest brother should be accepting of quite a lot, the second one might be a bit more difficult, i suspect he'll always see me as his little sister no matter what. and my three younger siblings already know that i'm weird, i don't really think i need to tell them anything

happiest thing that's happened to me lately was last weekend before my big brother's wedding. my uncle was there, and he told me that what i was wearing right then looked the most like me of anything he's seen me in. i thought the same too, but i'm not sure my mom liked seeing me in obvious men's wear. she always tries to convince me that i'm pretty and cute, and all kinds of things i don't feel like i want to be. as if i'll ever again wear i dress i totally hate just because she likes how i look in it

[Pica Pica]

Oh, as for my sister - I reckon she's an andro.

She's always talking about how friends say she is 'such a guy' (despite being visually a very feminine soul). We complement each other well, she is sensible, good with money and ordered - and I make things up as we go along. We share a sense of humour though, and a general 'culture' and mindset that other people - not even our parents - seem to get. Her friends find it annoying when I am there, and my friends when she is there because we can have all these conversations that other people don't seem to get.