How do you feel ?

[androgynoid]

I feel shiny and confident and beautiful.

[Keira]

Dead and empty, again...at least I know that I have no choice but to transition...

[Nero]

Not great. moving sucks.

[ativan]

I feel shiny and confident and beautiful.

That just makes me feel better hearing it.
I needed a little boost, thanks! 

[ativan]

I have to admit that I'm in a pretty blah state of mind.
My blood work came back and although it isn't bad, everything went the wrong way.
It's lack of exercise. I'm eating better than usual for the last 6 months, at least for me.
I should watch the kind of crap I seem to be drawn to the most. Junk food.
It's finally going to warm back up again here. It did for a few days and then it turned cold.
But the next weeks forecast looks good enough to get out and do the kind of yard work that I like.
Flowers. I don't care what kind, just want lots of them.
I have to get the Morning Glories and Moonflowers started to plant around an electric pole.
I'm hoping to exceed last years 10' mark. A cascade of flowers from morning into the night.
Ativan

[foosnark]

I am okay, but in an odd mood.  Pensive.  I put in my two weeks' notice at the job I've had for 17 years -- I don't really want to leave, but I don't think the company has much of a future anymore.  It needs more investment, it needs an office in a place where tech types actually want to live so we can hire enough people to cover needs.  The parent company needs to put enough in our reserve so when there's a bank holiday in Germany we still get our payroll on time and bills can be paid.

I have a job lined up, in a different industry.  Better pay, closer to home, stable, promising, and interesting.  But I'm kind of nervous to go from being the expert who knows where evrything is and solves everyones' problems, to a completely lost beginner and stranger.

I already lost most of my friends at work to layoffs years ago.  In fact the local office is down to just me and the one other remaining "old guard" guy, who's now in charge and hates it.  And he's on vacation during my last two weeks.

[Shantel]

I am okay, but in an odd mood.  Pensive.  I put in my two weeks' notice at the job I've had for 17 years -- I don't really want to leave, but I don't think the company has much of a future anymore.  It needs more investment, it needs an office in a place where tech types actually want to live so we can hire enough people to cover needs.  The parent company needs to put enough in our reserve so when there's a bank holiday in Germany we still get our payroll on time and bills can be paid.

I have a job lined up, in a different industry.  Better pay, closer to home, stable, promising, and interesting.  But I'm kind of nervous to go from being the expert who knows where evrything is and solves everyones' problems, to a completely lost beginner and stranger.

Sounds like you're a real can-do type so that transition shouldn't be too problematic for you and before long you'll be the go-to person again.

[ativan]

I have a job lined up, in a different industry.  Better pay, closer to home, stable, promising, and interesting.  But I'm kind of nervous to go from being the expert who knows where everything is and solves everyone's' problems, to a completely lost beginner and stranger.

The opportunity to become the best, again. I never could stay in one place for more than a few years at most.
I did work for one company for 9 yrs. I quit 5 times. Every time they asked me back or took me back with my benefits intact.
Being the best is always good, but the yearning to move on is always strong in me.
I've been here for 3 1/2 yrs. I don't know what to do with friends and a home after this long.
I don't know how that works. The concept is foreign to me. But I have never been some welcome before, so I'll find out, I guess.
Good luck with your new job. Opportunity has it's own rewards.
Ativan

[pluggy]

Very awake - for such an early hour. Been up since four, mostly thinking about all this new and confusing stuff that is kind of exciting and kind of scary.

Also quite chirpy because the sun is shining and I'm going to try and grab me some tan before the day's out.

[Shantel]

Very awake - for such an early hour. Been up since four, mostly thinking about all this new and confusing stuff that is kind of exciting and kind of scary.

Also quite chirpy because the sun is shining and I'm going to try and grab me some tan before the day's out.

Be careful with that, 15 minutes on each side max, beyond that you're aging your skin rapidly. This is from someone who is forced to see the dermatologist every six months due to excessive sun exposure.

[QuestionKnot]

Confused, frustrated, scared, and very angry that I haven't figured out my gender identity after a good solid year of questioning it.

[Shantel]

Confused, frustrated, scared, and very angry that I haven't figured out my gender identity after a good solid year of questioning it.

You might check us out in the Androgyne forum, many have found it a comfortable place to browse the posts of others with similar feelings. See you there! 

[ativan]

Confused, frustrated, scared, and very angry that I haven't figured out my gender identity after a good solid year of questioning it.

What is wrong with it that you are questioning?
Confused, we all are at one time or another, sometimes more than we need to be.
It comes and goes for many of us.
Frustrated. What is frustrating? It leads to the two next things, very easily.
Scared,... that's not a good way to go through life. What do you find scary?
Angry isn't a good thing either, but it's a place we have all been at.
In societies 'rules' and judgements of others, we get that way.
Most of us go through various stages of these same things, sometimes resolved, sometimes not.
Sometimes asking the right questions or better ones helps.
Talk to us, we're listening.
Ativan

[QuestionKnot]

You might check us out in the Androgyne forum, many have found it a comfortable place to browse the posts of others with similar feelings. See you there! 

Thanks, I think I will. skimmed through some of the posts and threads there and it seems like a nice place to start.

What is wrong with it that you are questioning?
Confused, we all are at one time or another, sometimes more than we need to be.
It comes and goes for many of us.
Frustrated. What is frustrating? It leads to the two next things, very easily.
Scared,... that's not a good way to go through life. What do you find scary?
Angry isn't a good thing either, but it's a place we have all been at.
In societies 'rules' and judgements of others, we get that way.
Most of us go through various stages of these same things, sometimes resolved, sometimes not.
Sometimes asking the right questions or better ones helps.
Talk to us, we're listening.
Ativan

I appreciate the support. Its just hard to figure out what I want to do with my body since I like being feminine and masculine, and it's getting to me because I just kinda want to be the physical me that would make me happy and then be done with this. I wanna get on with my life and not have to worry about this stuff anymore, ya know?

Ah well, I'm ranting. I'll post some questions and shadow some threads on the boards here. See if I can get any help with this.

[ativan]

Its just hard to figure out what I want to do with my body since I like being feminine and masculine, and it's getting to me because I just kinda want to be the physical me that would make me happy and then be done with this. I wanna get on with my life and not have to worry about this stuff anymore, ya know?

Yep. I do know, at least I do for myself. It takes time. It's frustratingly slow, the physical changes you might want to make.
You can still get on with your life as you ponder and make decisions and find the answers you need. We all do.
The more answers you find to the questions you need to ask, will help with the worrying part.
Used the search function at the top of the pages, it works fairly well, although you can get an overload of stuff sometimes.
Don't forget to look at back pages of topics here. Some good stuff there, too.
When you get to 15 posts (I think) more options will open up for you to look around at stuff here.
There is a lot of information stuffed into nooks and crannies. And all your questions are welcome. No need to hesitate, there.
See you around here,
Ativan

[androgynoid]

I'm tired. So, so tired. I've napped on and off all afternoon, and I'm not going to get to really sleep in until ten days from now. It's now a quarter after 9 and I'm debating turning in and sleeping all the way until my alarm goes off for work at 8 tomorrow (which is three hours later than I usually get up, so I guess it's sleeping in).

[QuestionKnot]

Yep. I do know, at least I do for myself. It takes time. It's frustratingly slow, the physical changes you might want to make.
You can still get on with your life as you ponder and make decisions and find the answers you need. We all do.
The more answers you find to the questions you need to ask, will help with the worrying part.
Used the search function at the top of the pages, it works fairly well, although you can get an overload of stuff sometimes.
Don't forget to look at back pages of topics here. Some good stuff there, too.
When you get to 15 posts (I think) more options will open up for you to look around at stuff here.
There is a lot of information stuffed into nooks and crannies. And all your questions are welcome. No need to hesitate, there.
See you around here,
Ativan

It is a slow process...guess I'll just have to get used to it. Anywho thanks. I'll keep my eyes open for info on these forums. this place is pretty useful.

[D0LL]

I feel anxious and suicidal. Not to bring anyone down.

I do nothing but give, give, give to my friends, and even the most generous friends of mine seem to take me for advantage.

I feel so used up and pathetic.

This isn't the alcohol talking, it's just the reason I started drinking tonight.

[Jamie D]

I feel anxious and suicidal. Not to bring anyone down.

I do nothing but give, give, give to my friends, and even the most generous friends of mine seem to take me for advantage.

I feel so used up and pathetic.

This isn't the alcohol talking, it's just the reason I started drinking tonight.

That's not good.  First things first ... your needs are paramount.  Put your "friends" aside for a while and focus on you!

Are you new here?

[ativan]

I feel anxious and suicidal. Not to bring anyone down.
I do nothing but give, give, give to my friends, and even the most generous friends of mine seem to take me for advantage.
I feel so used up and pathetic.
This isn't the alcohol talking, it's just the reason I started drinking tonight.

Anxious and suicidal are a way of life for me. It takes a lot out of me to keep it under control, sometimes.
It does have that used and pathetic element to it. Not a good way to be.
Drinking isn't the best thing to do, although,...
I do that on occasion, but it's a dangerous game for me.
Alcohol sometimes brings the anger out in ways that hurt, not only myself, but others.
Or,...I'm just that smiley happy drunk that gets everyone going.
I once had over a dozen guys in suits dancing Rockette's style to New York by Frank Sinatra.
Hang in there....
Ativan