How do you feel ?

[heatherrose]

Blessed...
...very blessed
but a little scared.

[ativan]

Strangely happy.... gonna see my therapist tomorrow.
Got plenty to be pissed at, but I just don't give a crap.
I'm listening to surfer music and having a good time.
I'm done experimenting with my meds and I'm confident that I'm on the smallest doses that are effective.
Just gotta take the side effects as they are.

Ativan

[heatherrose]

Physically: Between a 3 and a 4 on the sore-o-meter.

Mentally: Nearly as ecstatic as my last out of body experience.

[Pica Pica]

I'm feeling good. Also, unlike Nina Simone, I sound like I'm feeling good also.

[YinYanga]

I'm feeling good. Also, unlike Nina Simone, I sound like I'm feeling good also.

Which is why her music sounds so good

Four Women, House of the Rising Sun <3

[ativan]

I feel like I should take a Klonopin....I think I will.
I'm going to go to my doctor today, long car ride.
Leave in a hour, it'll probably make me sleep.
Otherwise, I feel like me, all of me.
I like that.

Ativan

[Pica Pica]

I'm feeling cucumberous.

[foosnark]

I am feeling like blowing off work.  This isn't exactly breaking news though.  I like my job sometimes, but I like not being at it more.

Also, my hands are torn up.  Kaoru Watanabe is in town for the weekend's Japanese Festival, performing in a quartet and with my group.  He gave us a workshop last night and we did more actual hitting in those 2 hours than the last several weeks of practice, and with a different technique than we were used to.  Blisters for everyone!

[Pica Pica]

A little drunk and very happy.

Got lots of friends and played silly games, including a hide and seek around my house; where, from my hiding place behind a hedge in the garden, I heard people in my bedroom discussing how girly they found it.

[Taka]

i feel a little bit on the anxious side, but not enough to make me freak out at all. pretty much a whole lot better than i've felt for a while

and the anxiety comes from not knowing whether or not i'll have the job i need to be able to pay for repairs on my very old house. if i can't fix the roof and parts of the outer walls within few months, it might well be easier to just let it start rotting down

[foosnark]

Sleepy.  Stressed.  Excited.  Peeved, but not overly so.  Incredulous in a good way. Mostly sleepy.

[espo]

Excited = Happy or Excited = Riled up

[ativan]

Excited = Happily Riled Up?

[ZaidaZadkiel]

Every day I feel miserable.
Some days more than others, but it just never leaves.

Today was a special day, with tears and all that.

Right now i just feel numb.

[Janet_Girl]

How do I feel?


With my hands of course. 

[ativan]

Every day I feel miserable.
Some days more than others, but it just never leaves.
Today was a special day, with tears and all that.
Right now i just feel numb.

That's what depression is. You know the routine, get help, preferably medical help.

Ativan

[Janet_Girl]

Sorry just had to say that.

Someday I am in pretty good spirits.  Someday I feel overwhelmed with school.  But all in all, I am in a pretty good place.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

That's what depression is. You know the routine, get help, preferably medical help.

Ativan

I have had better luck on my own.

[Ryno]

I have had better luck on my own.

I know the feeling. I've been chronically depressed since I was 12 (I'm 21 now). I've had ups and downs but the majority of my teenage memories involve a lot of depression and hopelessness.

I'm on meds now that kind of make me feel ... stable. I have days where I'm irritable as hell, days where I'm slightly anxious, days where I'm bubbly and optimistic and nothing gets me down. But I'm never miserable and I'm never elated. I guess I just am, with the ability to express surface emotions, just reactions to shallow events.

It's disturbing, but for me it's better than trudging through the trenches and feeling that pit of despair in the bottom of my chest. Although I do occasionally think I'd rather feel my natural emotions and risk being severely depressed again. At least those feelings are real.

Lately though, with my family catching wind of my transition, knowing I have to tell them I'm going to be taking hormones, and the fact that around this time of year my mom had a seizure in my arms, started getting really sick, and died on Christmas Eve 2009, I've been really on edge. My meds aren't working as well and I'v taken to fairly intense exercise to cope for the most part. I toy with the idea of increasing my dose but I can't stand the thought of being dependent on a little white pill for the rest of my life. I guess those are the reasons I've been irritable and antsy and feeling like I'm going to throw up.

And tonight, I feel down right horrible. I want to run into my father's arms like when I was a kid and tell him I love him, but it's both emotionally and physically impossible now. He's too far away and I'm both too proud and too ashamed to make such an action. I'm alone this weekend - I was going to bus up to the cottage to spend time with just my aunt and uncle and relax by the lake. But I'm in overdraft and can't afford it. My roommate is out of town this weekend. I booked the weekend off work. And I still have only one or two friends in this town. No one I want to spend time with since I'm in such a crap mood.

Sorry. You asked for an honest answer. That's mine. Maybe I'll be feeling great soon. I'll cross my fingers.

[ativan]

I have had better luck on my own.

I used to say that, too...
But I'm older now, much older.
If I could do it over, I would have changed. Everything.