Quote from: Julian on October 24, 2011, 09:52:47 AM
Today I'm calm. But not good calm.
There's stuff roiling beneath the surface.
I've been pretty outside-calm since I decided a few days ago that suicide was an option.
I don't have to live like this.
The roiling around is mostly because my partner promised to kill himself if I died.
When I get to the end of my rope, I always consider suicide. It does make you feel better that there is an escape.
High priced, but what do you care, you're going to be dead.
Which brings up a lot of things.
You can always tell off those people you've always wanted to. You can even kill that bastard that makes your life a living hell.
Just make sure that you do it in a way that you won't get busted before you kill yourself.
You can act as looney as you have always wanted to, like mooning crowds of people. You don't even have to run away.
You can call them all chicken ->-bleeped-<- bastards who haven't the nerve to do it them selves.
It'd be wonderful to get a crowd of a couple hundred mooning each other, and after a few minutes wonder what the flick just happened.
Go running through the Mall yelling "Anarchy Everywhere", until you have a few who will do the rest for you. Incite a riot. Why not?
Wear your underware on the outside and sing 'Like a Virgin' off key. Go golfing and never yell "Fore".
Spray paint everything pink. Just slap the ->-bleeped-<- out of anyone you don't like, even if it's just for the way they look.
Get a parachute, go to the car dealer and take a corvette out for a test drive, off a bridge. Don't worry about the car salesman, his wife was going to file divorce papers and he would have killed himself anyways, besides, who doesn't fantasize killing a car dealer now and then.
Speaking of parachuting, find someone who will take you to 20-25,000 ft (you'll need oxygen) and see if you can beat the other guys at low altitude opening. Your butt will be so puckered, you won't be able to take a decent ->-bleeped-<- for a week.
Spend at least a little time sitting on a sidewalk or steps somewhere with a really smelly person and share a bottle of your choice. Have a nice chat about the meaning of life.
See if 20 hits of really good acid is better than one hit. Go slap that guy at the hardware store who calls you missy and tries to sell you what you don't want, cause you really do know your ->-bleeped-<- when it comes to hardware and power tools.
Learn to juggle running chainsaws. Learn how to chainsaw that idiot who is always in the way at the street corner, juggling. Shoot a Mime (use a silencer). just wear a clown nose all day and act like nothing is wrong.
Feed the feral cats in your neighborhood or just all over the city. Bowls of cheap cat food. (Have a nice day).
Go to the local gun shops and by up all the black powder you can. Put it in a pile somewhere and light it with a very long fuse or a detonator from a safe distance, but not to safe. Ignite.
Just do something that you would never do otherwise. It works for me. But I always got caught, 3 outa 4 landed me in the IC for at least a week and a 30 day stay in the Psyche ward. Trust me, it's a very long way back if you try it. And if you make it, there's no do-overs.
Ativan
