Financially, Transitioning Can Be A Disaster

[Steph]

"Financially, Transitioning Can Be A Disaster"

Well yes it can, just like any other aspect of ones life should it not be planned for. Far too often folks don't realize the peril they put themselves in when transition is undertaken.  Just because we want to transition doesn't mean everyone else should bow down to our wishes, cater to us, give us money and assistance.  Folks may have rights and freedoms but only those rights and freedoms "Others" are willing to give you.

Plan, adjust, plan, move, plan, plan, plan, then make one final adjustment, then tweak it a little, but then you know what is said about the best laid plans.

I turned out okay.

(Ya I know...)

[tekla]

Well first, how are the stats relative to the rest of the nation, who also ain't doing very well these days.

[SandraJane]

No, but then again, I'm employed.

But I have read the 529 pages of the SF Fire Code.

Well?

[MeghanAndrews]

For me, it wasn't so much that I lost everything. It was more that I had a lot of money going into transition. Yes, I lost my job, but the industry was imploding. Yes, I got divorced but that was mutual and we're still good friends. I'm making about $50K a year right now, I love what I do, but it's a COMPLETELY different industry. Some of you may remember from my blogs when I first transitioned my biggest fear was "where the heck is my income going to come from?" You all were so supportive of me. I really pursued anything I could find and took a temp job making $12 an hour. I busted my butt and worked really hard and I've been there for three years now in a month and I've gotten four promotions. I think there are opportunities but a lot of it depends on the city you live in, your work experience, ability to lower cost of living for yourself to really low levels (if they were high), the way that other people see you physically/mentally, etc. and a bunch of other things.

One thing that definitely doesn't help some trans people get employed is that lack of social skills or like the ability to interview well. I mean with things like with the Asperger's and things that keep some trans people from looking others in the eyes, being affirmative, those kinds of things, that really hurts the ability to be hired. I'm definitely not saying that's MOST people, but I have personally interviewed several like that for heavy customer-based positions. It breaks my heart and I don't know what the solution is to that.

Julie, you are right, I can't imagine what someone in the construction industry faces. That must be crazy hard to find a job post-transition. Even if one finds work, what's the work environment like. Laws can protect people a lot but the work environment could still be blah.

[sneakersjay]

Even as someone who is still gainfully employed post-transition, I did spend every last penny I earned from the sale of my business, and thus have no decent retirement savings.  But I am grateful I was able to afford my surgeries and get on with the rest of my life.

It sucks when people are let go primarily because of transition issues, esp. in your case Julie, IIRC they canned you after promising you nothing would change, that they were cool with it. They suck.

I think it is best to be prepared to lose it all, then be surprised if it doesn't happen.


Jay

[tekla]

Well?
a) don't block the exits
b) don't use outdoor fireworks inside w/o prior approval and having (and paying for) not one, but TWO fire marshals to be there when you do it.  (And remember that I hate it, so I'm not going to be your friend when you show up in my building with lots of explosives.)
c) don't use extension cords/outlet expanders in a commercial building.  (Big no-no, I see this stuff all the time).


To be sure, for a lot of people, the past 10 years haven't been a good time for anything financial except disaster.

[MarinaM]

  There is no prejudice, no discrimination, no hatred and no reason to be stealth.  Everywhere we go we can proudly declare, "I am transgender!"

Who's first?

Not I, I was accosted coming out of a very visible transgender event last night. Bi*** threw a sharp stick towards me and told me to pick it up. I ignored her and took my pretty self to my truck. She looked so... small.

[Julie Marie]

We all agree that transition is difficult, but the OP stated "Financially, Transitioning Can Be A Disaster".  Yes it can, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  People have changed employers, changed careers, put off transition until they were more financially stable.  Rushing into a transition you didn't make adequate plans for is a disaster.

I wouldn't charge anyone for giving them that advice.  They might ask for their money back.

I planned, thought about it for years.  I assessed the situation in the field (working on the jobsite) and decided there's no way.  But then I got with a company that couldn't say enough good things about me.  They put me in charge of the design on their largest projects.  They flew me to DC, called on me to make customer presentations and began talks to make me design manager.  The toughest to please in the company were happy I joined the team.  They were fighting over who would get me for their project.  They paid me more than I had ever made in my life.  I got bonuses that brought a big smile to my face.

I thought, maybe, just maybe, I could do this.

So I checked the HR Manual.  No problems there.  I asked around, discreetly, about the company attitude.  No problems there but I couldn't be too specific in my queries.  State law was on my side with full transgender protections.

Then I went to HR to find out the company policy.  "We follow state law and have zero tolerance for discrimination."  Then the mother company HR officials got involved.  Not only was there no problem, they encouraged me to transition.  A team from corporate came into town and for 45 minutes worked on me to come out, but I still wasn't convinced.  Finally they made the decision for me, guaranteeing me my job and pay would be unaffected and I would never be placed back in the field.  I was too valuable where I was.

I came out and two months later they said they had no work for me. 

Now, how did my failure to plan result in a plan to fail?

[Hikari]

It wasn't your fault Julie Marie. Even the best laid plans, cannot account for all variables. Be it someone in your former company discriminating, or perhaps even a fluke of the economy making there really be no work for you (but, tbh I doubt that, despite my doubts though correlation isn't causality). Unfortunately, it may never be known what the true reasons are, since they would never admit to breaking the law.

I am in a pretty dire financial situation myself, I am not sure where I am going to live, much less how I can afford to transition, but at the same point, I realize it is the hopeful attitude that makes it all bearable. I think things need to be changed, and we need to be outraged at our treatment and the treatment of our sisters and brother (hey FTMs, get discriminated against too!). However, I think we should never give up, things are possible, even if we may have to take two steps back, to take one forward in the right direction.

I hate being poor, and I hate not having the money to transition, but I know one thing, I am going to fix my life or die trying. I wish that didn't sound as desperate as it does, but the truth of the matter is, I very much am.

[Ann Onymous]

Yes, I did.  But now I'm finding it's just propaganda.  They LIED to us!  We have nothing to fear.  There is no prejudice, no discrimination, no hatred and no reason to be stealth.  Everywhere we go we can proudly declare, "I am transgender!"

Now it sounds like you are truly drinking the transgender kool-aid since their typical response is to be so over-the-top with the hyperbole...you stole a page straight out of the Phyllis Frye playbook. 

Anyone who has the most fundamental grasp of sampling methods will recognize that there are flaws to the study.  Those have been discussed ad nauseum in other threads.  Because of where their response sets come from, they are essentially taking the DELIBERATE action of omitting ANY response from the transsexuals who did not encounter issues. 

As to declarations of being 'transgender,' you won't ever hear such come from my mouth because the term does not apply to me. 

[Steph]

...Snip...

Now, how did my failure to plan result in a plan to fail?

Could it be that there was in fact no work?  Based on what you said it would seem that you had grounds to pursue the company in court.  They would then be required to layout the reasons for your dismissal.

[Julie Marie]

Now it sounds like you are truly drinking the transgender kool-aid since their typical response is to be so over-the-top with the hyperbole...you stole a page straight out of the Phyllis Frye playbook. 

It's called sarcasm.  And I don't drink Kool Aid.  I just take real life experience and let it speak for itself.

But I need to ask, as you seem to be such a disbeliever that transgender people are discriminated against, why haven't you put your real name and your real picture here but instead choose a name that implies "anonymous"?  From what I've read of your postings here, you should have nothing to fear.

[Julie Marie]

Could it be that there was in fact no work?  Based on what you said it would seem that you had grounds to pursue the company in court.  They would then be required to layout the reasons for your dismissal.

No, the job I was in charge of designing was in full swing when they told me they had no work.  And the project manager, who pre-coming out, had said I'd be assisting him with job management like I did on an earlier job, stopped talking to me. 

I filed a complaint with the department of human rights.  That's still in progress.

[Steph]

No, the job I was in charge of designing was in full swing when they told me they had no work.  And the project manager, who pre-coming out, had said I'd be assisting him with job management like I did on an earlier job, stopped talking to me. 

I filed a complaint with the department of human rights.  That's still in progress.

Keep us posted it will be interesting to see the outcome.

[Gravity Girl]

I filed a complaint with the department of human rights.  That's still in progress.

I wish you luck with that and hope you get the resolution you deserve. Basically I hope you win.

[tekla]

People with 'nothing to fear' tend to have the most to worry about.

[SandraJane]

It's called sarcasm.  And I don't drink Kool Aid.  I just take real life experience and let it speak for itself.

But I need to ask, as you seem to be such a disbeliever that transgender people are discriminated against, why haven't you put your real name and your real picture here but instead choose a name that implies "anonymous"?  From what I've read of your postings here, you should have nothing to fear.

...another one...ZAPPED! by Julie Marie!

[Steph]

People with 'nothing to fear' tend to have the most to worry about.

Which brings to mind...

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

Second thoughts, may be it's not so appropriate in this instance.  What the heck, it's a great line.

[Gravity Girl]

People with 'nothing to fear' tend to have the most to worry about.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

[Ann Onymous]

It's called sarcasm.  And I don't drink Kool Aid.  I just take real life experience and let it speak for itself.

The taking of an experience and applying it as an absolute does NOTHING except put more hyperbole out there that accomplishes nothing productive.  And if you really thought that one datapoint of real life experience spoke for itself, then my experiences as *I* lived them in a very conservative area of the State as well as within a very conservative agency should also speak for itself...

But I need to ask, as you seem to be such a disbeliever that transgender people are discriminated against, why haven't you put your real name and your real picture here but instead choose a name that implies "anonymous"?  From what I've read of your postings here, you should have nothing to fear.

You mean aside from the fact that I am NOT 'transgender?' How about the fact that I don't see the need to have my personal details splayed across the web in ANY forum that I am on...my true name has not appeared in any forum in which I have participated.  And save for one known photograph, prior to May of this year, I am unaware of ANY photos of me on the web.  I prefer a small internet footprint for reasons that go far beyond my personal medical history. 

I have never worn the transsexual label...I HAVE identified as a lesbian for close to 30 years.  But even in the lesbian forums I participated in during the past few decades rarely were places that I put my full name out there...and there were no photographs.  Some people value a modicum of personal privacy.