my intro

[kristin?]

Hello, my (hopefully future) name is Kristin. I am an 18 year old male, and for a while now I have loved wearing girls' clothing, and hope to one day be able to wear them all the time, and possibly have a reassignment surgery. I have never told anyone any of this before. I am currently living with my girlfriend (who I love) and my love for CD'ing was "rediscovered" shortly after moving in with her. As you might imagine, I am very in-the-closet with all this, but I hope to one day become a woman myself and stay with her. I have no idea how I'd break it to anyone (my family's super-christian, I'm more of a moderate, and my girlfriend has never had interest in girls) . I'm kind of new to all this, don't know how to start on that path, and I thought this would be a good place to start.

[Devlyn]

Hi Kristin, welcome to Susans! Someone will stop by and make a flowery speech about the longest journey beginning with the first step. Not me, I'm just the cook around here! Have fun and see you around, hugs, Tracey

[RachaelAnn22]

Hi Kristin,this website is great and has lots of knowledge.Hugs,Rachael.

[Sam(my)I am]

Hi Kristin, hope you enjoy yourself here.
Though I can't help but point out that although your family may be devout christians it doesn't mean they won't be accepting ^^
I hope things will go well for you! 

[Jean510TV]

Hi Kristin,

Welcome to Susan's a great family here. I too am in the closet and have been dressing, as I can for a long time. I am married and she doesn't know I dress. Well, lets say she thinks I quit lol. Good luck with your journey.

Hugs,

Jean

[kristin?]

Hi Kristin, hope you enjoy yourself here.
Though I can't help but point out that although your family may be devout christians it doesn't mean they won't be accepting ^^
I hope things will go well for you! 

My mother once told my sisters she would rather them be prostitutes than lesbians. She also went around putting olive oil crosses on everything in my room when i was going through this "goth" stage in Middle School. Not exactly the most open-minded person unfortunately :\

My signing up for this forum and this post were kind of rushed (I misspelled my screen name D: ), probably because I was so anxious to finally tell someone, so I decided to get back on and post some more details.

So I guess I'll start with some stuff about me. I've always been extremely shy, mainly due to low self-esteem. I guess you could say I've never really felt like "one of the guys." I hate the fact that because I'm a guy I'm supposed to be all tough and athletic and screw a bunch of chicks and stuff. I've never really been into sports, watching or playing. Watching just doesn't interest me in the least, and I have too slender a frame to play anything. I'm just not a very competitive person, also due to my low self-esteem (except when it comes to video games, I'm actually good at those :p ). I have three sisters (probably part of the reason I'm here :p ). Despite my feminine tendencies, I've never been attracted to guys (I was curious at one point, but never attracted) and have always been crazy about girls. And unlike most guys (at least in my experience) I know how to treat a girl. Unlike every guy I know, I have never had a bitter breakup, and could call up any of my exes at any time and ask them how they're doing. Many of them I still talk to every now and then.

And now about my history with CD. I think where it came from was my first real girlfriend, who was bisexual, and said I would make a very pretty girl. I don't know exactly when or how it started, but I would sneak clothes away from my mother and sisters and wear them in my room. During the "goth stage" I mentioned above, I even wore nail polish for a while and experimented with eyeliner and (once) black lipstick. I don't remember when or why I stopped for a few years, though my wish to one day be a girl never went away. I started back again a couple months ago. One night, after me and my girlfriend, *ahem*, did it, she passed out, and her panties were off to the side, so I put them on and went to sleep next to her. In the morning, I just told her it was because I was drunk. Now, any time I have some alone time in her room (most days) I wear whatever I can find of hers that fits. I even tried doing my makeup like hers one day when I had a lot of time (which is difficult, her makeup skills are amazing ). She would definitely be the first person that I would come out to, but I honestly don't know how she'd react. She tends to be very open-minded and accepting of others (I've heard her talk about past gay friends and whatnot before) but I'm terrified that for some reason she woudn't accept it. I don't think that would be the case, but, like anyone else, my fear of rejection is overpowering my desire to let someone know.

When it comes to one day becoming the fairer sex, I just don't see how it could be possible. My family would disown me before helping me with it, and I don't see myself ever being successful enough to be able to afford everything I would need, and I would need a lot. I have a large adams apple (which I absolutely hate), lots of facial and bodily hair (except the chest and back), a very deep voice, and a pretty masculine facial stucture. The only (physical) thing I really have going for me is my slender body, which I think would look amazing with less hair and the right body parts. It would be a dream come true to have the body and wear the clothes that I want to wear all the time, but it would take a lot for me to get here. Here's hoping that some day I'll muster up the courage to tell someone, and moreso that someday I'll be able to become the person I want more than anything to be.

[Devlyn]

Kristin, my deepest apologies, I got your name wrong, too. I corrected my earlier post. Sorry, hugs, Tracey

[Sam(my)I am]

Your situation sounds a lot like mine Kristen(18 as well ^^) I even had a similar goth phase but was always simple called a metal head or emo, I fortunately have had a very understanding mother, but for my father and his family would be like what you have with your mother but religion isn't his and his families motivator it's just his mentality.
As for going through with everything you'd need there are ways to do it for less cash, but it just may take longer then you'd probably like because you'd have to wait till you yourself have income if your family won't help. As to how to spend less on surgeries and such (if you so choose) there are other countries such as Thailand that offer the same exact operation that you get anywhere with the same equipment (and most likely more exp) for almost a 1/3 the price.

[gennee]

Hi Kristin and welcome to Susan's.                                                                                                Gennee

[LilKittyCatZoey]

hi there

i have some just like yay news for you ! there now recently are a ton of girls your age or quite close like me:) (not being ageist just telling her ) hehe and welcome you will be amazed how helpful ppl here are but be careful there are some well trolls here to hope you enjoy it here

[kristin?]

Thanks to everyone for your support, I'm glad this was the first place I got it all out

Your situation sounds a lot like mine Kristen(18 as well ^^) I even had a similar goth phase but was always simple called a metal head or emo, I fortunately have had a very understanding mother, but for my father and his family would be like what you have with your mother but religion isn't his and his families motivator it's just his mentality.
As for going through with everything you'd need there are ways to do it for less cash, but it just may take longer then you'd probably like because you'd have to wait till you yourself have income if your family won't help. As to how to spend less on surgeries and such (if you so choose) there are other countries such as Thailand that offer the same exact operation that you get anywhere with the same equipment (and most likely more exp) for almost a 1/3 the price.

Well you sure seem to know what you're talking about

I'd love to chat sometime, you seem like someone who'd be good to talk to

[Sam(my)I am]

Thanks to everyone for your support, I'm glad this was the first place I got it all out

Well you sure seem to know what you're talking about

I'd love to chat sometime, you seem like someone who'd be good to talk to

Thanks, but I'm actually on the more ignorant side of the spectrum  I just have been poking my nose around for years. We can chat sure just send a PM sometime perhaps use Yahoo messenger or something.

[kristin?]

Thanks, but I'm actually on the more ignorant side of the spectrum  I just have been poking my nose around for years. We can chat sure just send a PM sometime perhaps use Yahoo messenger or something.

Well you sure know more than I do, I honestly thought I was going to end up hiding it for the rest of my life until finding this site

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Your situation sounds a lot like mine Kristen(18 as well ^^) I even had a similar goth phase but was always simple called a metal head or emo, I fortunately have had a very understanding mother, but for my father and his family would be like what you have with your mother but religion isn't his and his families motivator it's just his mentality.
As for going through with everything you'd need there are ways to do it for less cash, but it just may take longer then you'd probably like because you'd have to wait till you yourself have income if your family won't help. As to how to spend less on surgeries and such (if you so choose) there are other countries such as Thailand that offer the same exact operation that you get anywhere with the same equipment (and most likely more exp) for almost a 1/3 the price.

omg ! i did the same thing well common emo and goth like lets you wear make up and girls everything with no horrible comments haha and yea Thailand best place i have a friend who's cousin did everything there

[Jillieann Rose]

Kristin,
Hello, I wanted to welcome you even if it is belated.
You seem to have allot of excuses for not being able to become the women you want to be.
But you did not mention anything that is new to use trans people.
We are or have all struggled with many of these problems and more.
Many people here have or are over coming them.
To transition is not easy or simple.
Do you want your dream to come true?
Are you willing to give up everything to make it happen?
Even your family?
Your girl friend?
You may or may not lose them but the cost is high for most of use.
If you said yes and mean it then Susan's will be here to help and suport you emotionally and
together we have allot of experience and knowledge to share.
Welcome to Susan's,
Jillieann

[LilKittyCatZoey]

Kristin,
Hello, I wanted to welcome you even if it is belated.
You seem to have allot of excuses for not being able to become the women you want to be.
But you did not mention anything that is new to use trans people.
We are or have all struggled with many of these problems and more.
Many people here have or are over coming them.
To transition is not easy or simple.
Do you want your dream to come true?
Are you willing to give up everything to make it happen?
Even your family?
Your girl friend?
You may or may not lose them but the cost is high for most of use.
If you said yes and mean it then Susan's will be here to help and suport you emotionally and
together we have allot of experience and knowledge to share.
Welcome to Susan's,
Jillieann

she is rite i lost well almost everyone who was close to me and a ton more its not for ppl who give up easily

[InMyWrittenHeart]

^_^ Welcome to susans.