Just need to rant

[Ryno]

We all do now and then.

This is just about my name. I'm not pissed, I feel weird. Anxious or something.

I'm a couple months passed due on my Master Card and they just called... thing is it's still in my old name because I have to go into an actual bank to change my name and this city has no effing bank for the credit card I have.

Anyway, this chick was just going on about how I need to make a good faith payment ASAP and kept saying my old name. Over and over. I know they do that just to drive the point home and make it more personal but oh my freaking god. This one point she was like, "You need to make this payment AMANDA." Like, she really hit the gas on that last word. I felt sick to my stomach. What the fck is that?

I can deal with my old name when I talk to my aunt or my dad because they don't say it three times in one sentence, but even when they do I feel this odd shiver down my back. Like, I really don't like it. I know it seems like I'm making such a big deal about nothing, but I'm just blown away by how much hearing one little word affects me. Which is annoying because it's just something I'm going to have to deal with for the majority of my life. Hell, I even changed my last name, too and I still get called "Ms. [Ridiculouslylongukrainianlastnamenoonecaneverpronounce]".

Sorry for ranting. How about you guys? How does hearing your old name affect you? Just a breeze or do you get twitchy and irritable as well?

[wheat thins are delicious]

I'm in a class this semester where there are not one but TWO girls with my old name.  When the teacher was calling roll my heart jumped a little each time. 

[JungianZoe]

Been about 2.5 months since my name change became legal and I haven't heard the old name applied to me in about 2 months.  But the volunteer coordinator at the place where I volunteer has the female version of my old name and I almost respond to it every time!

Pretty soon I'm sure I'll become habituated to hearing the name and will lose that response.

[anibioman]

it pisses me off so much so if anyone ever says it i ignore them except school with the good damn subs it says "last name, birth name (parker)" and they always call out my birth name. sometimes my parents friends who havent seen me in like a year will say "hi, birth name!"
i just walk away. this one stupid girl in my school just to be a bitch calls me by my birth name really loudly but she cant get in trouble because i cant prove she is doing it to be malicious.

[MaxAloysius]

Wow, glad someone brought this up actually. I just got back from seeing a movie with some family members I haven't seen in ages (Cowboys and Aliens! Wow, awesome!) and we went back to their house and one of them turned to me and went 'Would you like tea or coffee (birthname)?' I changed my name about 11 months ago now, and to hear it so suddenly rattled out like that seemed to slap me straight into shock, I stopped listening for a few seconds and kinda had to pull myself back into the conversation. It was a truly horrible feeling, it was like with that one word he rocked my knowledge of who I was. I'd been sitting on the couch as Max the teenage boy, then he said my birth name and suddenly my identity was stolen from me and I was just a little girl again.

I hate hearing my old name, I hate even thinking about it. That one little word completely destroys any sense of self I manage to culture.

[kyle_lawrence]

I unfortunately have not changed my name yet, so I have to go by my birth name at work.  I've gotten used to it, and it doesnt bother me as much any more as it used to.  Pronouns really get to me though.   

I work in a retail store selling stuffed animals, and give tours of the factory.   I think of the tours as performing so theres the "I'm just a character named (birth-name) acting in this role." thought process that gets me through it.  I also have to help kids stuff there own bears, so I'm constantly hearing "She can help you" or "Bring that over to her" or parents saying "Bring your bear to that nice girl over there" and that all really gets to me.  I get really uncomfortable being referred to that way, but I really can't say anything to customers.   I think the worst anxiety i get is when I'm on the phone (cause I alternate between working in the call center and in the retail store) And customers repeatedly call me hun or sweetie.   I've had calls where I'm fighting so hard to not snap at someone for repeatedly calling me something like that, that by the time I finish the call I'm litterally digging my nails in to my palms in a fist or clenching my jaw.  I keep telling myself I just have to make it through another year at the most until I finish  school and then I wont have to deal with customers anymore.

[Noah G.]

I react a little bit when I hear my name but it isn't connected to me -- not visually or anything though. I make sure of it. When people who don't know I'm trans say it I'm pretty much neutral. When people who do know use my full birth name, opposed to a nickname that at least isn't obviously feminine, yea, I do get irritated. I've corrected my older brother on it once, but largely because he used it in chat on my real (so to speak) Facebook account -- I haven't yet started correcting other people though even though I know I really should...

It amuses me though, Logan, your mention of a show with a character with your name and you reacting to it. I went to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes yesterday evening and one of the previews was for the movie The Sitter; Jonah Hill's character is named Noah in the movie and it amused me to no end because of what the character is like, not to mention it looks like a good movie. There's been one or two other times when I've heard it in a show or something and thought, "Hey! That's my name!" or something equivalent. It's happened with my middle name as well. That's worn off and has been almost completely eliminated with my birth name.

Kyle, not sure if you've ever said before or not, but why is it that you have to wait until you're out of school to change your name?