Okay, this is really difficult but I'm going to try and explain.. :/
Okay, I have been doing a lot of research on this for awhile now and my girlfriend is so supportive of me throughout this. I know for a fact that my body is wrong and so much makes sense now that I've realised this. I just don't know how to explain it to my parents..
I've been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. My parents know, but my siblings (sister 17, sister 15, brother 14) were never told because my parents think they wouldn't really understand. The eldest found out herself and just accepts it though she never has said anything about it to me. Whenever my girlfriend (I'll name her Jay in this message) is around at my house, and is very often almost every day, we always have to act like we're "just friends" in front of everyone because we don't want anything to be awkward. My parents are very religious but whenever we've sat down to talk about the matter, we've never gotten anywhere because it just gets awkward.. so nothing has changed..
But since I've realised that I'm Trans, I really have to tell them and MAKE them understand.. I want to change my name, my body and everything. I need their support throughout this.. I've got only good responses from friends and many people are calling me Elliot and referring to me as the man I feel I am. But Jay finds it so difficult to do all of this in public and when alone, but as soon as my sister walks in the room, has to change back to calling me "Becky".. its just unfair really and I just get constant reminders that I'm still a girl to all of them.. they deserve to know, right..?
My parents know I have gender issues. One of my sisters decided to try and rat me out when we had an argument and went to my parents about a post I had made on Facebook once about how I was seriously unhappy with my body (a post I don't regret because one of my friends came forward and sent me the link to this forum which has helped me so much.. thank you everyone) but I was sat down and questioned.. which was the most awkward moment of my entire life.. I just didn't plan what to say since I had no time and so they just didn't understand.. my mum thinks I'm somewhat depressed and thinks I'm rushing into things because I have a lack of motivation and such.. but I know in my heart that it is more than that.. the constant binding makes me feel better yes, but taking it off at the end of the day just is the worst feeling in the world. I'm sure you all understand.
She says that she'll still love me no matter who or what I am. So I need her to understand..? But I don't know exactly how.. x.x;; she works in a hospital so she knows all the technical information about everything. But I can't figure out how to explain just how it effects me mentally? Or something like that.. x.x;; ugh.. I'm so confused..
Any advice would just be sp helpful.. I've been to the doctors and they had no idea on what to do.. I mentioned therapists and such I had read online, but they just said come back in two weeks and that they'd do research for me by then..? It really wasn't helpful at all.. I'm so scared.. x__x;; should I go to another GP for a second opinion..?
Thanks for reading.. I know I was rambling a little..
