How did you make your decision about T?

[Mika]

Hey guys,

I've personally wanted on some level to start T since I learned the changes possible, even before I found my words for my identity. But I've been waffling a little, going back and forth. At this point I'm admittedly trying to figure out if I NEED T to function rather than if I want T to be happier and function a little better. I'd be lying if I said external situations weren't affecting my decision process, but I'm trying to take my own needs into consideration too. I'm wondering if I could function without T, and if either going the no ho/no op route, low dose T for a period of time, or undergoing monitored natural transition might be enough for me. I usually have manageable dysphoria with more severe peaks, but I do admit I get more than a little depressed thinking about having a totally female body forever.

How did you guys decide? Was it easy and you immediately knew T was a necessity for you? Or was it a process? How did you deal with external negative consequences, like painful difficulties with your partner(s)? I'd love to hear your processes, how you made your decision, why you chose as you did, and how you managed to meet your own needs while also not harming your loved ones any more than necessary.

[Nygeel]

I took 6 years of thinking about it before I started. I tried to live my life as male without hormones. I tried doing what ever I could but was still not quite happy. I figured that I could handle the potential downsides and decided to start. If I couldn't handle it I could stop.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I kind of suspected I might be trans for the first time when I was 17.  I waited till I was in total agony before I pursued transition.  It just wasn't worth it anymore to sit around looking at photos of other guys on T and being insanely jealous of them.  To me external changes were the only reason to take T.  If people could have seen me as a guy 100% of the time, without me having to say "I'm a dude" then I might not have wanted or needed to take it (though I did find my lack of body and facial hair sickening) but that was not happening. 

[Adio]

I wanted to be on T as soon as I heard about it and understood the effects.  My original plan was to graduate university and then start T and have top surgery.  But after the issues I had my first semester (3rd year), I decided I had to start sooner.  The only reason I was putting it off was because I didn't want to hurt my mom and family by starting "too early."  (I came out when I was 15, started T when I was 20.)

Negative consequences...I honestly can't think of anything major.  Things have gotten so much better for me.  School, family, socially, and personally.  Even my health has improved (including cholesterol and blood pressure).  There were some struggles with school.  I had a hard time being seen as male by my instructors when I still had my birth name on official records.  But after getting that changed...I faced some prejudice from one instructor who failed me (the F was overturned when I passed with an A under a different instructor).  Other than that, I've been very fortunate. 

[JohnAlex]

I kind of suspected I might be trans for the first time when I was 17.  I waited till I was in total agony before I pursued transition.  It just wasn't worth it anymore to sit around looking at photos of other guys on T and being insanely jealous of them.  To me external changes were the only reason to take T.  If people could have seen me as a guy 100% of the time, without me having to say "I'm a dude" then I might not have wanted or needed to take it (though I did find my lack of body and facial hair sickening) but that was not happening. 

This is exactly me as well.  Though,  I'm not on T yet. but I'm working on it.
But I feel I need to go on T because it is the only way I will "pass".  Mainly my voice I want to change.  but if everyone though I was 100% a cis-guy right now, I wouldn't need T.  I would only want top and bottom surgery then, so that I can pass to myself.

[Sharky]

I always planned on taking it, before I even knew that it was legal to do so and that doctors would actually give it to you. I got the idea from a female body builder when I was a kid.
I already pass I want T for all the perks that come with it.

[insideontheoutside]

I function without it. Seem to be a rare case though.

When I was a teenager I had no idea "transition" or anything like that existed. I'm also one of those "try" people so yes, I have tried T and it didn't work out for me personally. I have "interesting" hormone levels to begin with and for me, messing with those made me feel awful.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I function without it. Seem to be a rare case though.

When I was a teenager I had no idea "transition" or anything like that existed. I'm also one of those "try" people so yes, I have tried T and it didn't work out for me personally. I have "interesting" hormone levels to begin with and for me, messing with those made me feel awful.

How long were you on T when you took it? 

[Kohitsu]

I've decided to not go down the T road. My feelings may or may not change in the future, but that is how I feel about it now. I'm naturally transitioning and already more and more people are noticing the changes I've made without T. So for myself, I don't think T is a necessity to transition. Everyone's different though. I don't get as bad dysphoria as some of the other guys on this board. Basically the reasons that keep me from not taking T are 1) it's very very expensive, 2) it would mean being on medication for the rest of my life, and I don't want to depend my well-being on drug companies, 3) I don't wish to mess with my hormones because my overall health is very important to me, 4) I already pass pretty well without T, not 100% of the time but as time passes more and more people recognize the real me.

Top surgery is a different story for me though. I'm still tossing the idea of whether or not to do it. My only reasons for top surgery are 1) I'd definitely pursue it if binding causes me health problems in the future, 2) the feeling of walking around shirtless in public is so appealing (if only there was boob equality in America, it's so sexist to let men walk around topless but not women, but that's a subject that probably deserves it's own topic  ). The only reason I'm not doing top surgery now is because it's expensive and I have small A-size moobs that are easy to hide anyways.

Whoops, more than I anticipated posting. LOL

[Miniar]

I read and researched and considered.
Then I read and researched and considered some more.
Then I read some more, researched again, and considered even more.

And then I evaluated everything I'd learned, everything I felt and everything I wanted and needed, and made my decision based on that.

[Ryno]

I toyed with the idea for a while after coming out in December, but even a couple of years before that I felt it was something I wanted. I was still iffy about it even a few months ago but I think since July I've made up my mind and will be starting by October. Just need to get that appointment and I'm good to go. I know it doesn't seem like a long time compared to some but I've watched a few others go through with the decision and transition... and now it's just something I know I need for my life. It's not something I need to function but it's something I need to function at a healthy level. I look forward to some external changes but I think most of it will be more an internal satisfaction. Even if it takes a long time to take effect and even if it doesn't change me much, I still feel I'll be happier and better able to deal with life with male hormones as opposed to female. I plan on taking an estrogen blocker as well.

[xAndrewx]

I wanted to be on T as soon as I heard about it and understood the effects.

Same but it wasn't until 4 years later that I actually managed to start. Things like worries about my gf at the time leaving me (we'd been together 3 1/2 years at that point), being broke,  & needing a psychiatrist.... etc. Though I wish I could've started sooner I'm glad in some ways I didn't. It gave me time to research & truly understand. An example: I'm on bi-weekly shots, at the end of the second week I can logically tell when I'm getting annoyed for a stupid reason & re-direct it. Had I not had the time to prepare I might've reacted differently.

Short answer: Everyone is different but that's how I made the decision.

[Sharky]

I don't understand how someone, unless they are really lucky with their natural hormone levels, can live the rest of their life as a man without T. Especially if they look young. Eventually their age is going to catch up with them. You can't pass as young when your wrinkled and graying.

[Aussie Jay]

I read and researched and considered.
Then I read and researched and considered some more.
Then I read some more, researched again, and considered even more.

And then I evaluated everything I'd learned, everything I felt and everything I wanted and needed, and made my decision based on that.

^ This.

I didn't want T to begin with - I was a little scared I guess, its such a powerful hormone. But then I thought well I'm pretty butch and masculine to begin with, and decided yeah I'd like to enhance those features with T. I also always wanted facial hair and to walk around and swim etc shirtless like I did when I was a lad! And due to my complexion, hair colour etc NT was hardly and option for me - I had basically no visible body hair! But its not all a head decision, your heart needs a say as well... But it has to be about you - I considered my family and their reactions, feelings etc - but in the end it was my life, my body. I needed to do it to be at home in my own skin.

Not one regret. (Well I could do without the current acne but meh, all part of the deal - can't pick and choose!)

[insideontheoutside]

How long were you on T when you took it?

Just under 2 months.

[Michael Joseph]

As soon as i figured out there was a way to physically transition, i knew that is what i needed. I came out a couple years ago and ill be starting T hopefully next month. I live as male full time my name is legally changed and im out at work. Im happier now than i was when i tried living as female, but i know that once i start getting changes from T ill be happier than ever. I did a lot of research, and just hard thinking to make sure this was right.

[lexical]

This is a great topic. My gf and I have been together just over 2 years now and from the very beginning she knew I was questioning this, so we researched and learned about it together (mostly via youtube and other resource guides online). She has always been my biggest supporter... I am so incredibly lucky to have her in my life. I've been on T for just over 5 months and no regrets whatsoever, it feels great. I can understand how some people can feel and live as male without it but for me it was pivotal, it's helped my passing so much and having a good bit of facial hair already makes me so happy ha. I'm finally feeling like me.

The one thing for me is that it's made my chest dysphoria much more pronounced. Hearing male pronouns sounds good to my ears but sometimes I just feel this dissonance hearing he and feeling my chest under my binder. It's a hard thing to explain. I can't wait to have top surgery but unfortunately it'll be another year to two before I get there (am a graduate student in the US now buried in student loans).

[brandnewman]

It was a long process. Years ago, I saw guys in my community who transitioned successfully (I was especially impressed with their physical transformation!) and I was tempted to take that step myself. But I was afraid of my dad's reaction and that nobody would want to date me. My dad died, and my wish to transition became stronger than my fear of loneliness.

What's hard is my mother's difficulty in calling me by my new name and seeing me as male, but it's still early in my process and she is trying so very hard (she tells me all the time that she loves me, which does help). I also struggle with being seen as male socially because I feel more and more male inside with the T, but I don't pass yet in most situations. Again, it's a question of time and patience. Physically, acne and muscle cramps are the worst of it - nothing major to complain about, really.

I'm blessed with a supportive community of cis and trans queer folks and a loving partner who values me as I am and is excited about my progress in my transition. I truly could not ask for more

[bojangles]

Eventually their age is going to catch up with them.

This was true for me. Passed without trying when young. Not so much later, when the flat chest and hips grew out.

My process was similar to what Miniar posted.
Research, talk, deep thought, prayer and a list of pros and cons. Seeing the cons on paper next to the pros made them look tiny.
They were all about fear of the unknown. The unknown will always be there. The fear needed to be put in it's place.

[Wolf Man]

I think the worry that my age would catch up to me had been my main issue with not taking T. I lived my life as male and no one questioned it. My voice and appearance both passed well enough for my young 18 years. I did get the frequent comment of looking young and having a baby face, but it happens and people understood that, assuming I'd grow into it later. So the little things are what pushed me because I knew it would never get better.

I knew all along that I was going to take it and I only hesitated because I wanted to come out to my parents. I ended up taking it for a month and a half before telling them. Now it has been nearly 2.5 months.