My mom's confession

[Inanna]

There may be a reason biology has less "protection" against the the brain and sex developing differently: trans people can still reproduce as their physical sex (before transition).  During most of history before medical transition was possible, they just played their gender role and had children, which meant natural selection couldn't "weed out" those genes.

Of course, natural selection would favor those whose body and brain matched, but evolution also favors variety.  Perhaps a small percent of people having the brains of the opposite sex introduced some variety into society and maybe even helped males and females understand each other?  Just a possibility...

[VeronikaFTH]

Hmm. My mother took some kind of drug when she was pregnant with me in 1973. Apparently it was for morning sickness. She said it was pulled off the market...  Can't remember what it was called. Probably Bendectin  (Debendox, Diclectin). It's still used in Canada and Europe but was pulled off the market in the US in 1983.

I do know there was a drug called diethylstilbestrol (DES) which is a synthetic estrogen, was given from like 1940 to the early 1970s to pregnant women. Daughters of these women who too it were prone to cancer.

But transsexualism/transgenderness/whatever has been around forever, even before all these drugs... So who knows. I've heard stress can cause it, and my mom is a stress case... Runs in the family.

Now thalidomide...  I have actually met a victim of thalidomide at a bar once.  He didn't have any arms, just his hands came straight out of his shoulders. Very odd. Nice guy, though, and his lack of arms didn't seem to impede his drinking ability. Lol..

[Jenny_B_Good]

This kind of is the nature vs nurture debate. Thing is, Nature always finds a way. If it's meant to be, nature always wins. Nature is the ultimate balance act. Look how viruses and bacteria constant grow to new strains as a way of continuing growth. You can't stop nature, hence you wont stop transsexuallity.

I believe though Zoe, that most close loved-ones aren't really concerned with you (effects of so called drugs and medications) but with their perception of how they will be perceived because of your actions.
Like- "What will the neighbours think of me because I have a freak of a child that wants to change gender?!"
Your mother maybe be looking for reasons, to absolve herself of 'bad' parenting that she can tell 'the' neighbours, so the fear doesn't become over whelming. Of course there really isn't any 'the' neighbours- this is just your mother's unconsciousness projecting a fearful outcome of her survival ( ie her place and strength within society ).
Strange isn't it that survival used to be just get shelter, get food and water. Now it's grown into get a job, make lots of money, be successful, keep up with the Joneses.

In light of this theory the best way to have this conversation is to ask your mother what she feels about you as an adult. Let her open up - Ask her:  Does she trust your strength and abilities to be a wholesome human being.
If she does, then GIVE her permission to forget any regrets she may feel. I believe this act of letting her remove herself from the fear will actually allow her to see it clearly for the first time, then by human nature she will own it and let it go.

Just my two cents,

Jenny