Why would someone go "full time" before going on HRT or being on HRT a while?

[JessicaH]

I just curious and wish to understand others here so please don't think I am judging what you have decided is best for you.  I do see a common thread on the board that involves really unhappy people or people enduring incredible hardship and ostricism which because (In my humble best guess) they rush the Social Transition and have little chance of passing. Please understand, I'm not judging anyone in any way but only seek to understand!

I have struggled with GID as long as I can remember. When I decided realized that the GID wasn't going to accept anything short of medical transition I developed a plan to study every aspect of transition in order to make it as succesful as possible, then execute the plan. The central key to MY plan was to maintain optimum levels of HRT and let it do it's work as long as I could still pass as a guy. When I start getting mam'ed when presenting as a guy and people are really wondering WTF is wrong with me, I will take a month off, get a little FFS and make a switch when I get back.

So, that is MY plan and it is based on the belief that people will accept me and life will be much easier if I can at least not get clocked instantly by strangers. 

I am really interested in knowing why people do what they do because knowing leads to undersanding.  I DO suspect that for some the GID suddenly just becomes so unbearable that it suddenly becomes a life or death decision to transition now or die.

I think it's also possible that some people fight the GID so hard and long then the GID jsut brings them to their knees and leaves them with few options including the one stated above.

So what are your thoughts?

[Constance]

I don't pass very well, but passing really isn't my goal. Wholeness is my goal.

Someone else here a while back noted that whether or not one passes depends on the eyes of the beholder. So, while I don't pass well to my own eyes, I've had many a person address me as "ma'am" while out en femme, even before starting HRT.

My RLE starts next Friday, 9/16, after a little more than 3 months HRT and before any surgery. To me, it's time. I'm out as "Connie" in most of the places I go anyway, so there's little point, to me, in waiting any longer.

[Annah]

I was one who started fulltime before I went on HRT. For me, it was my own decision that, if I could not cut it presenting female to others on a fulltime bases, then why in the world would I subject my body to the changes and permanent changes HRT will make.

Also, remember, there are some countries that require at least some fulltime RLE before consideration for HRT is given.

I had no problems passing fulltime without the hrt. I was only fulltime for about 3 months before hrt, but i hadnt had any issues.n A lot of passing has to do with attitude more than the pills in my opinion.

[Bird]

@JessicaH

For me, HRT had bombstatic effects. At 4 months I was getting ma'amed more than sired, and some folks I recently knew assumed I was a dyke because of the guy clothes. One day, the son of my hairdresser asked us "Why is she dressed up like a guy?" and at that moment, I decided to go full time. I was even being called ma'am while wearing a male white overcoat with a male name written on it at work, while presenting myself as a male, no makeup and trying to use a male voice.

So, for me, I went fulltime as I was very passable. I just had a bit of luck and it happened fairly early.

[Colleen Ireland]

I had no problems passing fulltime without the hrt. I was only fulltime for about 3 months before hrt, but i hadnt had any issues.n A lot of passing has to do with attitude more than the pills in my opinion.

+1 on that, with a bullet!  I've been fulltime since April, and went on HRT at the end of March.  I went on vacation April 8, and came back to work as Me April 25 (Easter Monday - I really LOVED the symbolism).  I've had no problems at all.  I now have my own house, and as far as I can tell the neighbors don't suspect a thing - I've met a few of them.  If anyone reads me, nobody has given me any indication.  And for me, the whole issue was more about being who I am, and living in alignment with that, rather than any specific idea of passing.  I'm not a raving beauty, I accept that, but I don't break any mirrors, either... 

[Janet_Girl]

I was 5 months into HRT, before RLE.  I wanted the right fuel to have a chance sculpting the body before hand.

[JungianZoe]

I started full time about 5 months after starting HRT, but my first three months of HRT didn't give me any changes since my T was still at 650 (and I mean no changes at all).  So the doc switched my AA and I went full time 2.5 months later.  Basically, I went full time the moment I noticed that my face was changing because I couldn't handle one more day of being seen in public as a male.   Body changes didn't even start until a month after I went full time, and still lag far behind my face in terms of overall change.

[AmySmiles]

I think paranoia was ingrained into my personality by my parents, both of whom are extremely cautious people who do not like to take risks.  I was so terrified of something going wrong (and ruining my life) that I planned everything out and saved money for 3 years before starting transition so I could get FFS and reduce my chances of being rejected.  It was *pain* to do so, but it paid off because I still have my job, pass 100% that I know of with strangers, and really haven't had any trouble.

Honestly, everyone is different.  Some have a lot more luck with hormones, some have a lot less to lose, some don't care what others think, and some have stronger dysphoria.  All these factors will play into how early someone can and will transition.  Like you Jessica, I have a hard time imagining full-time before or shortly after starting hormones but I had a hard time getting over my mental hurdles.  If I looked as nice as soon as some of the younger girls on this site, I would have gone full-time very quickly.  But I still would have planned it out in advance.

[FairyGirl]

I started both on the same day.  Honestly at that point I didn't give a rat's patootie what anybody thought about it; I wasn't doing it for them in any case.  But in the beginning when I started it wasn't even something I was concerned with in the least, because it was far more important to me to be able to stop living a lie than what anybody else thought about me.

[JennX]

Well... in my case I was full-time 3 years prior to HRT. I will say that I do pass (hate that word btw) extremely well, and did even so prior to HRT. It was more of a chore for me to pass as a male growing up, especially when I was younger. People would tell my mom she had a beautiful daughter, until she'd correct them and say, no that's my son. Also it depends not only on your presentation to the world, but when you are personally, mentally, and emotionally, ready to make that step to FT 24/7. For me, I couldn't do it soon enough. HRT has really just been the whipped cream on the dessert (SRS will be the cherry ) for me.

HRT isn't a magic pill. You won't become a Victoria's Secret super-model overnight, or even over several years. There is so much more to living your life 24/7 as a female. More important things honestly. Being at peace and happy with yourself on a daily basis for example. The changes from HRT are only minor in comparison to the other changes and challenges you'll have to face along the way IMHO. For example, I stress more over how to organize my MAC eyeshadow palettes than worrying about the physical changes from HRT. 

[Lisbeth]

I was full-time way before I started HRT. Why would I want to wait to me myself? Being full-time is not controlled by anyone but yourself.

[Wolfsnake]

I'm nearly full time, not on HRT. I don't really pass. But it does make me feel a lot better about myself to have friends, coworkers, and family address me with my preferred name and male pronouns. Makes the waiting for HRT easier.

[AprilAero]

I was able to pass very well before I got on HRT because I was lucky because I have a lot of feminine features so it was really just a matter of my hair growing out. I knew I needed to transition and I went full time as soon as I could get enough clothes to do so.

[Keaira]

I went full time 2 months into HRT. Mainly because 2 years ago there was a rumor about me being on hormones at work, when I wasn't, and when I got back from being laid off, those rumors started again. So I figured what the hey. People know so no point keeping a secret that isn't secret. So, here I am, full time and couldn't be happier about it. ^_^

[Super Amanda]

Like some others, I was only on HRT for a couple months before going full time, no surgery yet. We all have different reasons, but for me, I just had to. I was doing the back and forth thing for a while, and that, to me, was worse than anything, because I felt it was to jarring to be he one minute and her the next. I never had a problem in public, even way before I realized who I was, so after some laser on my face, I felt that I could live full time with little discomfort. Passing? Heh. I don't even think about it that much these days. That's not to say I don't want to pass, I do, but feeling like I'm being true to myself trumps passing every time, for me.

On a side, why does everyone who says they always pass and are super fem and have female traits naturally never have pictures? It's just that unless you began HRT pre-puberty, then most likely you have some male traits, so what? We're on a site for trans folks, so why the BS?

[kelly_aus]

I have a question.. What constitutes full time? Is passing a necessity? I live as a woman, but don't pass at this point.. I've been on hormones about 4.5 months, but lived this way even before.. Transition is about me and my happiness/contentment. I've taken what steps I could, when I could..

[Colleen Ireland]

I have a question.. What constitutes full time? Is passing a necessity? I live as a woman, but don't pass at this point.. I've been on hormones about 4.5 months, but lived this way even before.. Transition is about me and my happiness/contentment. I've taken what steps I could, when I could..

That's exactly it.  It isn't about passing, it's about how you live.  I'm a woman, 24/7.  I live as a woman even when there's nobody around to see, so it isn't about passing.  My driver's license, health card, credit cards, bank accounts, all identify me as Colleen.  My driver's license identifies me as Female.  There's no vestige of "him" left.  I'm a woman, 24/7.  I'm full-time.

[Stephe]

A lot of passing has to do with attitude more than the pills in my opinion.

Very true, I was living full time for a couple of years before I started HRT. I got ma'am most of the time and like another person said, I didn't really give a crap if people liked what I was doing or not. I think it toughened me up some too

[Constance]

I have a question.. What constitutes full time? Is passing a necessity? I live as a woman, but don't pass at this point.. I've been on hormones about 4.5 months, but lived this way even before.. Transition is about me and my happiness/contentment. I've taken what steps I could, when I could..

I was talking with my therapist about something quite similar today.

I started my physical transition when I started hormones back in June. I've been part-time for most of this year and I'm going full time starting 9/16. That's the social transition.

But, my identity transition is done. I'm David only in the legal sense. Connie is my true identity. The social transition will be complete when Connie is my legal identity, too.

[Adabelle]

I wanted to do the very thing you're talking about Jessica, but it didn't turn out that way. I had intended to go on HRT for up to 6 months and then go full time, but as it turned out I was about to go back to school for 6 months and I got to thinking about it and realizing that I really didn't want to go to school as a guy. It moved the whole thing up. So I signed up for school with the intention of starting HRT just before and then going full time on the first day of school. As it turned out I needed a small revision surgery on my toe so I held off on starting HRT for a couple extra weeks and actually ended up going full time before I started E, basically a good 6 months before I thought I would.

I guess I have been fortunate so far that people either haven't cared I was trans, or they didn't notice. Certainly I was really surprised when I went to school and people still talked to me and treated me normally. So I didn't hit the end of my rope necessarily, but maybe I had the luxury of being able to pass (at least sort of) even before I started HRT.