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Social sexual creatures are we all…Or are we really?

Started by Anatta, July 29, 2011, 03:53:55 PM

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Do you feel a need to belong, a need to feel loved ?

I need my social and sexual needs met by also having an "intimate" long term relationship
9 (27.3%)
I need only my social needs met by also having a long term "platonic" relationship
4 (12.1%)
I already have my social needs met and have a "platonic" relationship with my life partner
1 (3%)
I already have my social needs met and have a "intimate/sexual" relationship with my life partner
10 (30.3%)
I'm socially content, having enough interaction in work, rest and play...
4 (12.1%)
I have "other" personal needs to be met-explain if you feel like it...
5 (15.2%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Anatta

Quote from: tekla on July 31, 2011, 07:52:49 PM
Boy, were can I sign up for that kind of calm, peace, and contentment?  That kind of understanding, compassion and mercy?   I'm going to find out as soon as I rotate my tires tomorrow.

Kia Ora Tekla,

::) You can sign up for one of my beginners classes, just send the cheque[ $500 US] made out to the Zenda Trust  PO box oooo Auckland NZ... ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :) 

::) ::) No wait, you were trying to be sarcastic...Oh well, I'm quite OK with that, and to show there's no hard feelings I'll still let you send me the cheque anyway[just add a few more 0s to the end]  ;) ;D 
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Anatta

Kia Ora ,

::) Now I could ignore Kate's barrage of verbal attacks/abuse-which could possibly lead Kate to become 'even' more frustrated  :eusa_naughty: ...And from a compassionate view point  my silence could also be contributing towards Kate's suffering/mental anguish... :icon_userfriendly:

::) So out of compassion  :angel: I attempt to appease her frustration and ranting on  :icon_bunch: [of which in her case seem is quite habitual  :icon_blahblah: ], by trying to pacify her with light humour  :icon_joy: ...

::) But alas it would seem whatever it is that frustrates her so much[possibly she's not used to being challenged] is so ingrained in her psyche, sadly this has left her with a burden she finds hard to let go of...Hence the continuous "habitual" verbal abuse of whoever's brave or foolhardy  enough to disagrees with her... :icon_yikes:

::) Now how's that for some constructive psychobabble Kate ?  ;) ;)

Happy Mindfulness Kate... :)

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Anatta

Quote from: RhinoP on July 31, 2011, 04:21:42 PM
There's absolutely no education requirements to being a filmmaker; some of the most famous names, like Tyler Perry, never went to college - Perry specifically never graduated high school. Shooting a film is also much different in today's time than it was in the 80's; more films are shot on location than not, and in today's time, the process is much more natural and from the ground up. The majority of the films you see in theaters, or more specifically indie theaters (where the films still make extraordinary amounts of money), are simply created by talented people who can dedicate their lives to the process, and when the film is finished, it's then sold (almost like a homework project) to a film distributer who wants to make money off it it; Lionsgate is famous for simply buying films and not funding/controlling them.

Basically, most laymen get a distribution company and a producer confused. A producer is a person who literally has stock piles of cash, and invest in a film project in order to get even more money out of it; they also have some levels of control over the film (aka the "Hollywood", though producers are usually specific friendly people and not companies). However, the "Hollywood" that most people think of simply does not exist. There's no "big film company in the sky" that all films are churned out of. The filmmaking process is made up of literally millions of creative teams across the country that film films in every state, every location, and every place they want to. Filmmaking is simply no longer done in a "Hollywood studio", nor are all films controlled by the big name companies like Warner or Fox. A big-name film may make $8 Million in revenue, but even the most underground unprofessional indie horror films that you can find at the dust bin of Blockbuster Video still do make lots of money for simply "being made"; you can find the most low-budget, goofy film in the world, and chances are it made at least $20,000 for the people behind it.

Specifically if you write and shoot films that are naturally geared for an indie distribution, or belong to "cheaply done" genres like that of Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity, the process is almost just like a bunch of college students filming a project for their teacher. There are complex factors to work out (insurance for your actors, funding the cameras and equipment, getting proper location liscences), but other than that, for most films, the act of filming it itself is relatively easy. It's much easier than say, being a doctor or a lawyer, and it's just because the process isn't well advertised (many filmmakers love being secretive), most people don't consider a career in that field. It also indeed requires traveling, press conferences, interviews, promotion, ect ect and while people behind the filmmaking process do have families and friends, it's not a "stable" lifestyle in terms of having a schedule. Just like the army, a filmmaking dad may have to be away from his wife and kids for months at a time. It's not a lifestyle that you can still attend a weekly book reading meeting every Wensday or the same church every Sunday.

Well, it may not be as unstable for the actors and filmmakers who can afford private jets and such, but...lol.

Kia Ora Rhino,

::) Sorry to hear you feel you have no friends etc etc... However I do wish you all the best on your quest to find a profession that will bring  happiness...

Metta Zenda :) 
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Anatta

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on July 30, 2011, 11:53:23 AM
I voted for the first one, but I don't know if I did it right. I currently have a content social life with my friends and my family. I don't have any wants in that department. I do eventually, post surgery, want to be in an intimate relationship with a wonderful partner. This guy will kind of be that piece that makes my life a little more complete. Ive been married twice to my best friends and I know what it is to have that, but this time it will be different. And I can wait a long time for a relationship if I have to, I'm not one of those people that seem to have always have to be in a relationship or life is hollow :)

Kia Ora Meghan,

::) It sounds like your life is rolling out quite well...One of the reasons I started this thread was I've met some trans-women who have friends and a social life but don't have a relationship and this tends to play a lot on their minds leaving them feeling quite miserable at times even when out socialising  with their friends...They are constantly on the look out for a partner and a long term relationship...

Thanks for your input...

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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kyril

I've never gone for long without an intimate partner...my friends have the craziest habit of falling in love with me. Not that I mind  ;D

So I don't really look for love or companionship. It just sort of...finds me. I do need sex, but don't really have a problem finding that either, on the rare occasions when I'm not in a relationship. Actually, come to think about it, I don't really look for that either. I'm a very quiet, private, introverted person who never makes overtures to strangers, and actually rarely even leaves the house. I have no idea how I have so many friends/partners/relationships.

And I'm not sure how well I'd function without social interaction/companionship, or to what extent I "need" them, since I've never really had to go without. But I do definitely get a little agitated if I don't have sex (or at least physical intimacy) for a few weeks. Definitely need physical closeness.


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kate durcal

Quote from: Zenda on July 31, 2011, 04:59:32 PM

Kia Ora Kate,

::) By trying to defuse the volatile situation [that you often choose to create], with light humour... I'm attempting to be "mindful" of your somewhat irrational, volatile mental state...

::) I'm sure the Buddha would approve of such mindfulness...

Metta Zenda :)

Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D

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Hermione01

Quote from: kate durcal on August 01, 2011, 09:04:11 PM
Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D

IMO Zenda has been extremely tolerant of your heckling.  Your posts are nothing short of bullying.   >:(




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Anatta

Quote from: kate durcal on August 01, 2011, 09:04:11 PM
Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D


Kia Ora,

::) Kate, I'm humbled by your kind words of wisdom...For me Kate you are a blessing, you are what Buddhists call a jewel/gift... :icon_bunch:

::) When interacting with you one is given the opportunity to practice the following [just a short list of the wonderful things you awake in this humble Buddhist practitioner] 1) Altruism 2) Compassion 3) Concentration 4)Contentment 5) Devotion to practice 6) Effort  7) Generosity  8 ) Humility 9) Loving Kindness 10) Patience[one of my favourites ]  11) Tolerance...And another of my favourites "Humour"...

::) I can't thank you enough Kate for just being you...But alas "nothing is permanent" so it's quite possible you will eventually change your ways, and when you do I hope you find the inner peace you have been searching for...

Many thanks Kate and I really do mean this...

Metta Zenda :)       
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Anatta

Quote from: Hermione01 on August 01, 2011, 09:38:33 PM
IMO Zenda has been extremely tolerant of your heckling.  Your posts are nothing short of bullying.   >:(

Kia Ora Hermione,

::) Your heart's in the right place and I thank you...But please tread carefully when responding, I have no wish for you to also become a target of Kate's...

I actually meant what I said to Kate...She is a precious tool a "blessing", she provides me with a most welcome challenge...

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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tekla

Maybe you should change it to 'psycho-sexual creatures' --- little doubt about that.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Jen-Jen

Quote from: Sunnynight on July 29, 2011, 06:05:12 PM
Although I voted that I have my needs met and have an intimate/sexual life-partner, I want to be clear that my partner doesn't fill all my social needs, even though she is my best friend too. No one person can be your everything.
I don't believe the " no one person can be your everything."  My significant other is my everything to me, too bad I seem to be the only one in the world that feels this way!
Don't judge a book by its cover! My lifes been like a country song! True love, amazing grace, severe heartbreak, buckles, boots n spurs! I 've been thrown off the bull a couple times, I keep getting up and dusting myself off! Can't give up on my happily ever after!
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Taka

i have social, intimate, and sexual needs which can't possibly be fulfilled by one person

my social needs can't be fulfilled in my current situation. i need to both see other people than family at least once a week and have enough time alone without anyone bugging me about anything. right now i'm living with my family, which pretty much means i can't get time alone, and as i don't own a car i can't just leave this place to go see other people (we live in the middle of nowhere)

my intimate needs aren't fulfilled right now, but could be by a few close friends and family members. possibly also a partner in a platonic relationship

my sexual needs could be fulfilled by a person i'm not in a relationship with, but right now i make do with whatever i can find on the internet. the best thing would be if my sexual and intimate needs could be fulfilled by one and the same person, but it's not necessarily the only option
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insideontheoutside

How'd this thread turn into an entertainment industry diatribe? I just skimmed ... but whoever originally was inquiring about that, take my advice and don't try to get involved in that suckhole. It may seem glamorous and exciting from say an outsider, mid-west, pie-eyed point of view but it's a really slimy industry. No real way to explain it all in a short post. And also, if you don't already know someone who's IN, you can pretty much forget it as well.

As to the original subject ... I think it's debatable that every human being has a certain set of needs. Obviously there's hermits and asexuals who kind of throw the whole notion out. I'm not a hermit or an asexual. I just happened to move about 800 miles away from all my friends and exciting things to do and I also married an asexual. So most of the contact I have with friends is through internet and phone and I have very few that I physically socially interact with. If it were up to me, I'd want to be more social but the area I live in kind of kills that. However, I don't feel I absolutely need the physical social interaction to that level to be happy either. The sexual thing is something I've struggled with my whole life. Not having a "normal" body really puts a spin on things, not being comfortable with being typecast in the "female" role puts another spin on things. Having been involved in some bad situations puts another spin on things and has basically left me with a lot of hang ups. I feel like I need physical intimacy but there's no possibly way I'm getting it, so I just try not to think about it a lot.
"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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Jen61

of corse we are sexual and social animals. Like other sexual social animals the instinct to be love and the deisre to belong is at the core of who we are.

Personally my journey neve endes, more love, more sex, more money. The more the better, I specificslly want more of what I have little. E.g. I have littyle boobei, I want bigger boobies  :laugh:

Jen61
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