The revelation that you're female.

[Sam(my)I am]

Well when I was younger 5-8 I always asked my mum, "why am I different? what's wrong with me?" The thing is I didn't know what it was nor could I explain why I thought that to her. I slowly realized I didn't like hanging out with the guys didn't like rough housing and whatnot I liked talking with girls and just being around them, I always made friends with other girls really easily. This changed when I got older because I became introverted I realized that me being unhappy with my gender/genitalia was not normal and socializing with girls was thought as a bit odd, and when I did they thought I was trying to flirt with them Y-Y
This went on for awhile and I just told myself I'm a guy and I should hang out with guys I read tons of books since 10 to take my mind off it live in someone's shoes in essence.... Long story short I was not happy and I realized at 16 I could not be happy and just tried to keep it under lid told myself would transition until I was in college whelp that changed 18 and only out to my mum and some close friends (unfortunately they are 7hours away )

and that's devoid of the sexuality revelation augh that was maddening D:

at any rate I apologize for any incoherence I'm not sleeping well lately

[Jenny_B_Good]

This is actually a really difficult question to answer. Like many here, I believe that my own internalised homo/trans phobia was so great,and past experiences of anxiety, depression, and rejection so strong, they have actually clouded my mind.

I'll tell you this though.

Sept 2010 - I log onto YouTube. I type in the search field - MTF transition.

Now I know to most of you in the community this means something, but to the general populous outside? I doubt it. I had been living as a gay male for over 10 years, but wasn't in the scene, or even read street presses or anything like that- so where did I pick up a phrase like that?

Like many of you I started to reflect back on my life to have those ahhhh moments. That's why! 

I do believe that I have come to time in my life when I am ready. Before this last month I began to feel that maybe my dysphoria wasn't great enough- not proper enough.

I had been to counseling before for depression and for ADHD testing; All of my own doing; in an attempt to find what was wrong with me. I must admit that at no time did I equate any of "my" dramas or problems to gender?!

....and yet here I am, able to feel for the first time in over 30 years - and I mean cry ( god it hurts), something I never did before. Even when really, really, really down. My emotions just never seemed to show.

Jenny

[Mahsa Tezani]

I was always a feminine boy growing up. I was fascinated by fashion, hair, makeup, and women. I was raised by two lesbians, which may or may not have influenced who I would later become.

I knew I was gay from a young age. So being feminine and gay were quite easy. However, it wasn't for me. I felt I'd be better integrated into female society. I started HRT and I did.