What's the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?

[Jayne]

I had a family meal the other day for my mums birthday, after the meal my brother & his wife gave me a lift home & I informed them that i've had approval for funding for my sex change.

The only question he had for me was "am I afraid that i'll spend the rest of my life being seen as a man in drag?"
I told him that there will be certain subtle changes in my face due to HRT & that i've been mistaken for a woman a couple of times when i've gone out as female. I told him about the time a taxi driver mistook me for female until I got my change & forgot to change my voice (he had a good chuckle about that)

I also told him that the important thing for me is not what others see me as but what I see myself as, also that after a lifetime of scaring children (& some adults) by going outdoors with very bad excema i'm long past caring what strangers think of me.

He took all of this without batting an eyelid but then I told him that whenever I look in the mirror the first thing I see is a woman staring back at me, after a second or two I start to see a male when I notice the stubble, the eyebrow (single, not plural) & my large hooter. I told him that when i've had my eyebrows done & my facial hair removed then i'll pass for female easier. (I didn't mention that i'm willing to have FFS in the distant future as this may have been too much for him to take in this early)
He didn't comment on this but the look on his face was one of someone struggling to believe what he'd been told.

This got me wondering if other people seee their desired gender in the mirror (even if only briefly) or is this rare?

[Fighter]

Sometimes if I'm feeling really feminine at the time, I can look into the mirror and see a woman staring back, either right away or after looking for a while. All other times I see my male face, which is usually not a face I want to see. I'll start to criticize my face in every way about how masculine it is, how big my nose is, how much my jaw juts, how bushy my eyebrows are, not to mention the stubble. This is all keeping in mind that I'm pre-everything.

I'd say about 75% of the time I look in the mirror and see a person I don't want to be, about 10% of the time I'll see a woman, and the other 15% I'll be apathetic either way.

[ByeBye]

a really nice girl to be.

[inna]

It is almost like an illusion, I glance and there she is and sometimes she remains, soft sensual, unmistakable. And then I look yet another time and he occupies now the place where she once was. I am starting to believe that self Delusion seems to be a culprit but such is always on, it is a part of perception which interprets world we interact with. Obviously our face does not change that much within days, hours or even minutes but our ability to see one or the other does.
And if that is correct then our vision of the world would be subject to the same, so that world seems different on a good day then that observed on a bad day.

[Sam-]

I realize this is the MTF board, but I figured I'd chime in anyways. I see a male in the mirror 95% of the time, even though I'm pre-hormones and even pre-coming out. I rarely pass, so I know it's just a matter of perception. I only begin to see female when I analyze my features, which I try not to do.

[Jayne]

I'm also pre everything so I fully understand what you say about criticizing your face, when my skin clears up enough to wear makeup I often place a mirror so that I can constantly see the female me but without makeup I try to avoid mirrors & I avoid having my picture taken whenever possible.

Unfortunately I went into my local asda last year & saw my face on the front cover of the Telegraph from me being on a demo the day before, this is one of the few pictures in existance of me & had I known that my picture was being taken then i'd have hid, i'm not ashamed of being with this group, just my face.

This is the picture http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/7905178/Right-wing-group-clashes-with-Muslims-in-Luton.html i'm the one holding the flag.

I've taken a break from this group for a year or so until i've completed my transition but the support i've recieved from my fellow members has been overwhelming, everyone in my division is behind me 100%

[Jayne]

I realize this is the MTF board, but I figured I'd chime in anyways. I see a male in the mirror 95% of the time, even though I'm pre-hormones and even pre-coming out. I rarely pass, so I know it's just a matter of perception. I only begin to see female when I analyze my features, which I try not to do.

I only put this in the MTF section because that's what I am, I always welcome comments from any section of our community as regardless of our gender we are all struggling up the same big hill

[Forever21Chic]

  A smexy lady!   

[~RoadToTrista~]

A girl with a mustache. o.O

[Forever21Chic]

A girl with a mustache. o.O

  LOL that made me laugh...

[Julie Marie]

The first thing I see is messy hair, puffy eyes and...   But, like any other woman, spend a little time on hair, makeup and attire, and I'm ready to go out into the world.

[JadeS]

Sometimes I see a girl that has nothing wrong with her, other times if i get gender dysphoria attacks bad (which is 80% of the time) I see all my ->-bleeped-<-ty features (jaw, etc)

[Jillieann Rose]

I glance and there she is and sometimes she remains, soft sensual, unmistakable. And then I look yet another time and he occupies now the place where she once was.

That sums it up for me too. She is often there when I just glance in the mirror and don't take time to really look.
One time I went into the bathroom and was startled by a strange women staring back then I said to myself "Oh silly it's only your reflection".

[Amaranth]

Nowadays I almost always see my true self at first glance...until the shadow ruins it X_X

[sparkles]

Wow I'm amazed that you have revived such support from that group though I did see they had a lgbt wing so they really are an inclusive group I just would not want to meet some of the other parts of the ESL on the way to rallys when u start your transition you might now find them as supportive.

[justmeinoz]

As long as I have my hairpiece on covering the thin patch at the front I am ok.  Otherwise it's a depressingly male sight.  I have started putting my hair on before shaving, and tieing it back.  Makes me feel like woman with facial hair rather than a bloke.

Karen.

[AbraCadabra]

As goes for today, this morning --- one smashing girl/woman I see.
If I was me (formerly) I would go nuts over me (presently) if that makes sense? :-)

Looking GOOD, sexy, not overdressed, just great. And I didn't even have a good night sleep - due to being off E before "the knife comes out" soon. :-)

Ain't it great to have some 'good hair day' once in a while? Yippy :-)

Axelle
PS: Get all horny just looking at myself - now ain't THAT something, he he

[justmeinoz]

Interesting that I managed to find a butcher here who sells Biltong,  earlier today. Looks a bit like a dried-up thing!

Karen

[Rabbit]

I see a guy Rarely I glimps female for a second... but that is probably just from going crazy and dilusional Oh well, maybe with more hormones or something :|

[kelly_aus]

It is almost like an illusion, I glance and there she is and sometimes she remains, soft sensual, unmistakable. And then I look yet another time and he occupies now the place where she once was.

I have this happen.. A glimpse and she is there, look back and she's gone.. Thankfully, the difference between that first glimpse and reality seems to get a little smaller each day.