The point of an open relationship is to be open. And it doesn't sound like he is. Perhaps he can't handle it due to guilt. But if you CAN get there, maybe it would be good for both of you. Which means, you getting some action as well. Why feel crappy and unloved? That sucks. If the open relationship is going to work, I would suggest you both need to do it, and you both have to be open about it. And if it feels wrong or sucky, don't do it. Trust your feelings, and validate them. But if it's true you really are interested in trying an open relationship as a solution to mid-marriage malaise, then you will find lots oc company out there. Forget Craig's List. Try OK Cupid, and put a profile up that's honest about your open relationship so people interested in you know. I realize you have a newborn, and that's hard. But you HAVE to take care of yourself. Even if you don't do the OK cupid thing, take one night a week for yourself where you go hang out with friends or something. Cheating is cheating, regardless of who with. Don't let the fact that he's cheating with transwomen distract you from the plain fact that he's not treating you well here. You have a challenge in the marriage, regardless of the trans issue; don't let his interest in transwomen sucker you into thinking this is all OK, cause it's not. That said, if he is not the monogamous type, which it sounds like he isn't, then you might make lemonade out of lemons, join the party, and have some fun yourself. IMHO of course!