This Needs to be Said

[Squirrel698]

Right now I'm very upset with half the people here.  This sense of entitlement and sicker than thou rubbish really should stop.  Just because we are trans with GD doesn't mean there are not other people suffering in the world.  They deserve respect and consideration just as much as we do. 

I have to agree with Telka in the vast majority of the things she said.  I was just going to leave this but I need to get this off my chest before I can continue to comfortably post here. 

I study Gandhism so I thought I would leave you all with this quote.  I just hope it gives you the sense of enlightenment that it gave to me.

One of Gandhi's most famous sayings is, "We must be the change we wish to see."

Gandhi said this when he was speaking after a prayer service.  People kept saying to him that the world has to change for them to change. He said, "No, the world will not change if we don't change." So we have to make the beginning ourselves.  It has always been our human nature to blame someone else for everything that is happening.  It's never us.  We are never at fault.  And he tried to make us realize that we are just as much in the fault as anybody else.  Unless we change ourselves and help people around us change, nobody will change because everybody will be waiting for the other person to change.  Go first.  Be the first one to change.

The best way to treat someone with cancer or anything else is with compassion.  Even if they are insulting you because if you do, it will teach them to be respectful back at you.  You can be the bigger person and take the first step towards kindness.  I have great faith in people here.  I've been posting here for nearly two years now, I think.  I know you all have great hearts and mean the absolute best.

Just please remember: Above all be kind to everyone and they in turn will be kind back to you.  Not immediately but eventually.

[tekla]

I've always thought of entitlement as simply: Demanding from other that which you are unwilling to give yourself.

[Squirrel698]

Yes that is exactly how I also take it to mean.

[Natkat]

I think for my point we got on a misunderstanding,

sure there is other people in this world and sure we should respect other people and help the one we can and so on so on.
im not telling anyone to only care for themself, trans or not this is something who is for every people no matter who.
--
my point on it is I won't respect someone who won't respect me back, and that coint for every people no matter who and what they are.
a person having a hard time shouldn't expect my time if the person is putting me down like any other person shouldn't,
neither should I expect help or respect from a person I disrespecting and put down,

(the only caise I feel its okay is if the person is invold to this, I dont see how cancer and ftm is connected,
if so then we shouldnt only speak ftm but in general of all surgery's.)

if we are kind we might get it anyway, there is many situations were we are too kind and threat people nice even when we know they won't do the same for us.
but it shouldnt be a obviously factor, and the thing about "im felling down so its okay to be mean" is something you do when your a child and its not something who will get you good in life.
--
I dont know how you felt but I felt extremly offended because I have tried to kill myself and its not something I wanna hear as "my own choice" by any meaning. there is no situation where you feel you can offend someone and then after that expect they will help you,
it tend to work opposite, and it also okay, if every people used there time on people who wouldnt do the same, then they might end up forgetting about ther own need, and after saving the people who wouldnt save them back then what would they get?

[Ender]

The best way to treat someone with cancer or anything else is with compassion.  Even if they are insulting you because if you do, it will teach them to be respectful back at you.

This. 

I wanted to say something like this in the other thread, but couldn't figure out a way to word it that didn't sound naive.  Even now I'm having a hard time saying this right.  I guess I mean that, even if the above statement might not always work (especially immediately, as you said) it is very much worth it to always try.  Some people will take notice, and it may not be only the person who originally said the insulting thing.

[Arch]

"The other thread"?

[Squirrel698]

Thank you Caseyy and Ender

"The other thread"?

When I was posting I was thinking of these two threads.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,105682.0.html

and

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,105972.0.html

However it's a general trend I've noticed here, Tumblr and elsewhere.

[Arch]

I read those two threads, and now my head aches.

[Hermione01]

There's a lot of bitter people on the internetz. 

[Padma]

There's a lot of sweet people too - it's just that the bitter ones leave a more lingering taste .

[Epi]

Without truth, there is nothing.  It's illogical to believe that if everyone practiced Gandhism the world would be a better place, just as it's illogical to think that the world is corrupt because we don't practice Gandhism,  The truth of the matter is Gandhi didn't support or believe in Gandhism (or a lot of other things.  The world did change and Gandhi didn't like it because it wasn't the change he wanted.)

But since we're on the topic of Indian visionaries.

Krishnamurti had it right when he said "Fear is nonacceptance of what is."

What you have here are a group of people afraid of acceptance, and in turn they complain about their fear of attaining it.  (We all do this.)  Everyone's been programmed to think there's something wrong with them, so in turn they act as if there's something wrong with them.  All of this is very deep-rooted back to our childhoods.  Parents use disgust/contempt as ways to control our behavior and actions.  "No, don't touch that, it's bad." or "Ew, that's icky, foul."  It seems most of us have not found personal acceptance because we're still mirroring and mimicking behaviors learned as children.

If you want something, you first have to not be scared of what you want, if you're scared of it, you'll never be able to take that first step forward in securing it for your future.

If anything, everyone really could use an Indian head massage.  /melt  You can even get massages while enjoying a meal!  I love India.

[insideontheoutside]

Being one of the "older" people that frequent this place I just see a lot of younger people who really don't think things through all the way.

Across the internet I see a lot of younger people who are basically whining about everything and anything and about how their lives aren't "perfect" (usually followed by the youthful abbreviation ... FML), while blatantly announcing that they're entitled to this or that. In reality, most of these kids haven't a clue what a real FML situation might be. I just watched someone I love die from cancer is certainly one. But when you're young, everything that happens to YOU is just such a crisis and a bummer and everyone else should just "get over themselves" and stop telling you what to do. The haircut didn't come out right? FML. You weren't able to eat mac'n'cheese for dinner? FML. You have to actually clean your room? FML ....

Also, trans isn't a "fandom" ... although from what I can see a lot of people seem to act like it. Maybe because that's what they're growing up in - internet fandoms of one sort or another. Instead of only interpersonal cliques that we had 15-20 years ago, it's just spilled on to the internet and everyone is trying to belong to something or other. Then they get the notion that the only appropriate action when someone is "against your kind (or your fandom)" is to lash out with hate and anger and bullying ... then of course turn around and claim how righteous you are afterwards. Not.Thinking.Things.Through.

In this particular area of the boards we also basically have what amounts to a pack of teenage boys ... one of the hardest things to deal with, reason with, talk sense to, etc.

Hey I was young once - we all were - and then, as they say, we grew the fu*k up. When you're young, you don't think things through for consequences or how your actions might effect someone else. And unless someone who's older and wiser gives it to you straight it takes you longer than average to actually figure some things out it seems. I think a generation of what I call "flaccid parenting" produced "generation e" (e for entitlement). My own opinion of course but I still see example after example of it in action. Sad thing is, it's MY generation that produced all the damn snot-nosed brats! lol

So call me an old man, but over the years I've learned a few things and hopefully the younger generations will get there someday (or even the older ones that somehow slipped through the cracks and still believe they're right, everyone else is wrong and their sh*t don't stink).

I don't even think an old saying like, "do unto others ..." even really works any more with a lot of people. Because of the internet, it's so easy to get in the meanest jab without suffering any real consequences that the notion has completely gone out the window - even with some otherwise thinking adults.

[tekla]

I don't buy that for a second.  I've worked with people that age for about 40 years now, starting when I was that age.  Though the number of irresponsible people might have grown, they are not all young people, and I doubt they are even the majority.

I recall about a year ago, I was working with an old, old buddy (we go back to working together to when we were both teenagers), and we were bitching - rather loudly at that - about someone being late.  Someone else said "Don't you two remember when you were young and late all the time?"  "Yeah, I remember being young, but I don't recall either of us ever being late, not even on an occasional basis.  Responsible at 18 is responsible at 49.  Irresponsible at that age, is going to be irresponsible at almost any age too.

[Cindy]

dmx, you should report this to Mods rather than posting it in public

Cindy

[dmx]

dmx, you should report this to Mods rather than posting it in public

Cindy

The mods are already on her. I'm just letting Squirrel know the source of the content he's responding to...

[Cindy]

OK,
I'm no longer staff, but do read the rules. Staff do not like this sort of stuff put out in public.

So possibly delete or post Mods about what you have done so they can delete.

Hugs

I know you meant well (as will staff)

Cindy

[dmx]

OK,
I'm no longer staff, but do read the rules. Staff do not like this sort of stuff put out in public.

So possibly delete or post Mods about what you have done so they can delete.

Hugs

I know you meant well (as will staff)

Cindy

Fine... deleted.

[Keaira]

I did know a cancer survivor once who was a snotty little brat before he was diagnosed with a rare form of it. He used to be pretty mean to my Daughters. After all the treatments were said and done, I'd have thought that that would have made him realize that life is too precious to waste on bullying, especially with all the affection and support the community gave him.

Nope! he went right back to being a snotty little brat.
He didn't like it when I told him he had a second chance in life and that he was wasting it. I also warned him that What he does now will come back on him ten fold. Karma can hit you with an Iron fist.

Anyway... cant we all just get along?

[Wilhelm]

I deleted the topic I had made. I was just ranting about nothing in particular and it went a little out of hand. I'm sorry and I hope nobody thinks I'm a complete ->-bleeped-<-. I was just having a ->-bleeped-<-ty day. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

[Cindy]

Thomas,

I have no more command over this site than you do. Post what you wish but follow the ToS. I only say that as advice. I have no right to issue  a warning, a ban or whatever to anyone.

I was just reminding people of the published ToS.

Cindy