passing and everyday life.

[drvotion86]

Ok so im 5 months into my transition and 15 days... i dont pass much at all maybe a small percent? Im not sure what it is...
So this new job i started as myself and everyone knows me as natalie... some ppl cant tell and some might suspect... today i got called into HR and they told me there were some complaints from some girls about me going in the restroom. they said for safety of you and them i have to use the unisex bathroom in hr...

I wanna find out how i can pass better.



I cannot for the life of me get my voice right? Im not sure what to do about it. its higher but still sounds funny i guess..

[Forever21Chic]

   You look like you pass in your pic's well at least from a facial point of view. Umm maybe you're dolling yourself up to much with the makeup or maybe your wearing clothes that don't fit with your body type, i don't know? Voice is major issue for alot of ts girls, after alot of practice mine is ok-ish/passable but not nearly where i want it to be. When i get nervous it slips back into male voice and also certain words i can't say without it sounding male-ish. Just practice with it like an hour a day everyday and it will improve, i read outloud in my female voice as an exercise and it helps alot.   

[jainie marlena]

Have you been to youtube? Check some of the girls in my friends list. I have gotten pretty good with my voice. They helped me a lot. Look up voice training there.

[JungianZoe]

I worked on my voice by singing.  Beatles songs primarily.   The rest came from everyday practice after I went full time.

[Ann Onymous]

Is appearance consistent with others in the workplace?  That includes everything from clothes to hair to makeup to jewelry...

[drvotion86]

i have some curves... and i wear large tops and a size 5 or 6 jean.. im 6 ft too.. and i dropped weight im at 150... ive always carried myself the same as i did b4, i just pull my shoulders back.. as for makeup i change it up everyday... sometimes its better some days and not so good others... usually i wear purple eyeshadow that really bring out my eyes...and i bought some dark colored almost brawn/reddish collor lipstick that looks really good i get alot of compliments on it. I always get compliments on my makeup. i usually sing to lady gaga or salena gomez or christina. i just think i have a big head... size wise idk.. i was thinking about getting work done on my face i feel like i have a shin and nose that just stick out.

[Ann Onymous]

i have some curves... and i wear large tops and a size 5 or 6 jean.. im 6 ft too.. and i dropped weight im at 150... ive always carried myself the same as i did b4, i just pull my shoulders back.. as for makeup i change it up everyday... sometimes its better some days and not so good others... usually i wear purple eyeshadow that really bring out my eyes...and i bought some dark colored almost brawn/reddish collor lipstick that looks really good i get alot of compliments on it. I always get compliments on my makeup. i usually sing to lady gaga or salena gomez or christina. i just think i have a big head... size wise idk.. i was thinking about getting work done on my face i feel like i have a shin and nose that just stick out.

ok, but is it consistent with how others in the workplace are dressed?  In other words, do you stand out by your appearance or do you blend in? 

And no, height is not a bar to blending in...at 6' you aren't out of the ordinary (at least compared to the peeps I was used to being around, although I have worked around some former WBB players in my career).  I am 5'11" and never stood out.  Of course, I also do not wear heels and will usually be found in tennis shoes or other flats. 

[drvotion86]

well the other girls dont wear makeup at all. and everyone is short there so i stick out more...

[Forever21Chic]

well the other girls dont wear makeup at all. and everyone is short there so i stick out more...

  It sounds like it's just the girls there clocking you. Girls check out other girls looking for flaws then talk about them with other girls behind their back, welcome to the world of women! I consider myself passable even pretty but even i get clocked by girls, it's mostly young girls too.    The guys i met have like no flipping clue and smile/wink at me.


   Try finding out who told your HR and just ask them what gave you away, it couldn't hurt at this point right? 

[drvotion86]

guys wing and stuff at me all the time.... idk what to do or say to them..

[Forever21Chic]

guys wing and stuff at me all the time.... idk what to do or say to them..

Lol me too!! I'm too scared to talk to guys that flirt with me....i'm afraid my voice might slip into male mode err something. =/

[drvotion86]

its so odd that guys cant tell but girls spot you its fustrating... what are some general tips for looking fem? i think my face looks hard =(.

[Forever21Chic]

   Hard? lol i think your being a lil harsh on yourself natalie. The best advise i can give you is to be yourself and don't be nervous. When your nervous people pick up on that really quick and start to examine you more closely. Just cuz one or two girls picked up on you being trans doesn't mean everyone else there did.


   In my opinion you look really pretty so don't beat yourself up girl! - xoxo

[TheAetherealMeadow]

Telling from your display pic, you look really feminine to me. If you don't look masculine, it may be because you sound masculine. What I did to get my voice to sound feminine is this:

1. Start humming.
2. Put your finger on your throat.
3. Start going up in pitch with your humming. At the point in which you feel the most vibration in your throat, bring your hum into a talk.
4. You should end up with a feminine voice that doesn't sound fake or forced.

It may take a bit of tweaking before you get it 100%. Also, I think it's really insulting that they said your presence in the washroom is a "safety issue". The "safety issue" does not exist. The REAL safety issue is with how other people will treat you. Perhaps you should show them the Chrissy Lee Polis video, and show them the true safety issue that is involved with washrooms.

[Ann Onymous]

well the other girls dont wear makeup at all. and everyone is short there so i stick out more...

standing out is rarely a good thing when it comes to the workplace...and from the above, combined with the other pics you have posted, the makeup could be what has drawn undue attention towards you.  Blending in is a component of getting through RLE and to surgery.