I feel like I'm being toyed with for someone's amusement...
I went to a gender therapist on the 2nd. We had a session about an hour and a half long and she asked me what direction I was trying to go. I told her my plans for transition, including that I want to be on hormones soon.
I asked about a doctor that had been recommended by my PCP after he did some research, and she said she was familiar with him. When I asked what his requirements were and if I'd need a letter, she said patients usually don't need a letter, he gives hormones on informed consent. She said I should give him a call and get an appointment.
So, I'm staying on a campus outside of the city where I'm getting therapy and where all the endocrinologists are. I have no transportation, so I have to take the bus. It's a 90 minute bus ride from here to the central station and then I have to take another bus to wherever I'm going (varies from 15-30 minutes). I can only schedule appointments on Friday when I don't have classes, and because of the long bus rides, it takes up virtually my entire day... (the latest I can leave for appointments is 7:50am)
When I called the doctor he only had one Friday available for the month. Which just so happened to be the same Friday that I had scheduled my next appointment with my therapist. I took the appointment and called my therapist's office to reschedule. I can't call my therapist directly, apparently they send her a text when she gets a call and she'll call the patient back. Which is what they told me, "She'll get back with you shortly."
...she didn't. And a week before my appointment with the doctor I called again and received the same statement. And again...no call back.
So I went to my appointment (via a 2 hour bus trip). Went through the process of being a "new patient" and having to fill a mountain of paperwork, got in and told his assistant what I was there for.
The week before I had already had my PCP take my initial testosterone for me. So I handed her that and his referral.
After that, she told me that they needed a letter. I told her what my therapist had told me and she went to consult with the doctor (I'll get back to this...) and came back saying they can't do anything without a letter. They asked if I could call my therapist and have her fax one. I did, and as usual I received the same secretary, waited for a call back which never came (despite the secretary telling me she had sent the message as "urgent"). After which the doctor's assistant told me my appointment time was up and I'd have to reschedule. They insisted multiple times that my therapist /knows/ they require a letter and she wouldn't have said otherwise (calling me a liar) And told me "leave now or we won't see you again".
Worst. ->-bleeped-<-ing. Experience. Ever. I had been anxious before that, and it just snapped me...Not to mention that the ENTIRE time she was talking to the doctor I could hear them outside the door saying "she" and "her" (I'm living full-time, so it was insulting).
My dilemma...The therapist STILL hasn't called me back ONCE since my initial visit...and where I live...there is only one gender therapist, and that doctor is the only one that will prescribe hormones without requiring a full year of documented RLE /and/ a therapist letter.
There aren't any informed consent clinics in the entire state. And, the way my friend put it, it's hard to find a certified therapist that doesn't have Jesus hanging on a cross in front of their door, much less one that's trans-friendly. I've tried all over but I can't find a doctor who's familiar enough with HRT to be willing to prescribe it...
I just don't know what to do...I can't wait around an not do anything...I feel like I'm wasting time...
But I start to feel like my best option would be to get a few doses of hormones "sans prescription" and try again after that... I've only known two of my close friends in the area that are on hormones and that's how they got them...Illegally so that they could get it legally after...
I've even found a pretty legit pharmacy in Europe to order from, the only thing that's stopping me is that little "i" word and the uncertainty of...perhaps...magically getting a call back from my therapist... But I really get the feeling that I'm being toyed with and avoided...for whatever reason...
I might try and see if I could guide one of our campus therapists to help me...but I really doubt it...It feels like my options keep getting crossed off and leaving me with the last possible option...
I just want to bang my head against a wall and bitch-slap someone right now.
