is it really worth it?

[lucaluca]

transitioning is hard. you can lose everything. and i am asking myself is it worth it?
i am scared to lose my family and friends. i am scared that i will be a figure of fun.

are you happy that you did it?

[Cindy]

Honey,

There is a point that you need to be you.  Without being yukky whose life is more important? yours or their conception of you?
Someday you need to live your life.

Last time I checked you get one go.

Live it.

Cindy

[annette]

You have to figure out what is harder, transition or living in the closet for the rest of your life.
I have lost family and friends, it wasn't so hard as living in the closet.
Family came back after some time and I've found new friends who take me the way I am.
I found out when friends leave you just because you're a T, they are not real friends, so you lost nothing.

Annette

[kelly_aus]

Am I happy I did it? Absolutely, no question..  Annette and Cindy both have it right though.. There comes a point where you have to decide: Am I going to live for me? Or everyone else? And as far as loosing family and friends, I think I may have just lost a bunch of old friends, and tbh, I'm feeling a little philosophical about it.. If they can't accept me for who I am, they are rather narrow-minded rigid individuals that I'm better off without..

And here's a quote I find useful in this situation, it's both funny and serious: "Those who matter won't mind; those who mind don't matter." - Dr Suess

[JennX]

Am I happy? Yep. No more living a lie.
Would I do it again? In a second, and with less hesitation than before.

[Venus-Castina]

It is a question I have asked myself multiple times.
When thinking of this I imagine a scale on which I put all the positive and the negative sides of transition on. Negative sides such as all the possible social, medical and professional consequences. Then it is good to know that most of these consequences are "what if" scenario's. What if friends leave me, what if I can't find a decent job because of this, what if I my body doens't react well to hrt and I remain looking like a male?
Right now I am unhappy being male and I know that this will only get worse over time as it did in the past. In my opinion it is better to take a shot at happiness than to stay in this depression another 5, maybe 15 years and then find out that transition is the only road.

Although medically nothing has changed yet (darn long waiting lists at the clinic) people notice a change in my expression, they say I am more cheerful, more expressive than the years prior. It is little remarks like these that give me strength to keep going.

[lucaluca]

i know what i want.

but i am scared! the pain, the costs, the fear to lose everything.
and i am so scared that i won't pass and will never live a "normal" life.

how are the effects of hormones, when you start at 23?

[Lily]

Living is worth it.

[kelly_aus]

i know what i want.

but i am scared! the pain, the costs, the fear to lose everything.
and i am so scared that i won't pass and will never live a "normal" life.

how are the effects of hormones, when you start at 23?

23? Your still a baby.. Imagine being 35 and looking down the barrel at transition.. But then again, beauty isn't my aim - being myself is..

[Randi]

If you're only 23 chances of your having huge results from hormone use is great. Just look at some of the before and after pics of those of us who are advanced in age before we started. Your results should be even more dramatic. Fear will keep you in bondage to an enemy you can't fight. Face your fears and decide if you can live as you want. The alternative is to live as someone else expects you to live and if you choose this way you will probably never be truly happy. What you repress will surely come back to visit you again.

Brandi

[Venus-Castina]

i know what i want.

but i am scared! the pain, the costs, the fear to lose everything.
and i am so scared that i won't pass and will never live a "normal" life.

how are the effects of hormones, when you start at 23?

With 23 you will still be fine. According to research done by the national gender clinic the results you get from hrt are generally very good in the early 20's. They rapidly decrease from about 25 to 30 and then steadily continue to decline in a slow rate. So take your chance while you are still young. I will probably be 27 when I can start hrt which is worrying me sick.
Still one needs to keep in mind that all results vary from person to person. I know people who never went through their biological puberty and ended up looking male and I know people who started in their late 30's and ended up looking gorgeous.

[MarinaM]

Live how you need to live: "Try to make ends meet, try to make some money, then you die..." We're all a moment away from never waking up. Love yourself by any means possible.

[annette]

/quote]

And that's the optimistic view of life.
Emma, you made my day by saying we're all just a breathtake from death.
Now I can go to sleep quitely (lol)

[lucaluca]

i am going to a therapist on next tuesday and i am so excited 

i know what i want. i always knew it. but i was/am so scared.  all the time i thought, that the feeling would go away, but even on my good days (when i thought i could live like this by ignoring the feeling) i knew that there was something wrong.

[Jayne]

I havn't started therapy or HRT yet so I don't know how relevant my view will be.

This journey is a rollercoaster but I dont regret telling people, i've lost a couple of friends but if they can't accept what i'm going through then they've never been true friends so bye bye & don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I've had moments of desperate depression due to losing my dog through this & now i'm moving into a shared house next week where I have to keep my ->-bleeped-<- hidden but throughout all of this I only have to think about the fact that i've finally taken the first step & I feel sooo happy.

It's early days for me but this is definately worth it

[Ellie]

I haven't started anything but it will be worth it for me.

[justmeinoz]

Living a happy life is definitely worth it.  Just existing wasn't.
All the things we risk losing can be replaced in some form, except our life.
Karen.

[Naturally Blonde]

transitioning is hard. you can lose everything. and i am asking myself is it worth it?
i am scared to lose my family and friends. i am scared that i will be a figure of fun.

are you happy that you did it?

I had to try and transition. It's just unfortunate that HRT doesn't work on everyone and I'm one of those people it didn't work well for. I gave it my best shot for well over 10 years and I'm not about to give up just yet. I agree it is difficult if HRT doesn't work on you and you may need go through various operations to try and achieve an except-able female presentation that HRT cannot provide. It is tough and costly to get it right. I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to transition if they could live without it.

Am I happy I did it? It's still ongoing but I was in a very depressive state before I started transition.

[lucaluca]

i thought there is only the age that has an effects the hrt. so there are people, no matter which age, who doesn't get a good benefit out of hrt?

could i live without transition? i guess i could, but i really want to. i think i will be unhappy if i don't try at least. but i don't know what is more worse... to live like i do now, or as a transsexual 

[Lyric]

This is a question that will have a different answer for many people. Many of the folks here at Susan's have decided to do so and I can certainly respect their decisions, but there are many of us who have decided not to-- and that's fine as well. You're considering a huge change in your life and, well, it's your life and yours alone. Since everyone is different and has a different life situation it's wise to consider customizing your life course rather than taking an off-the-shelf either/or approach.