I'm afraid.

[varelse]

I'm sorry to say, but I'm afraid of coming out. I'm afraid to tell my friends, in case I lose them, but I'm more afraid to tell my family. I'm just scared that I'll alienate myself from them. I just don't want to end up alone, with nobody to support me.

[Cindy]

Hi Hon,

This is very normal. We all go through it, and it varies how we are accepted. None of my friends have had an issue. My sisters-in -law and their husbands have no problems.

The fear is often inside us rather than their reaction.

And just have a think. If your 'friends' cannot accept you for who you are; why do you want them as friends? My friends call me and talk to me, check I'm ok. Go out to dinner with me. Invite me to their homes and regard me as a friend. I will do anything for them. I trust them, they trust me.

Try it, it's a big step but one you will have to take, it gets pretty boring living in a closet.

Cindy

Oh BTW, you will never be alone. You have a new family that will never give up on you. Will always support you and care for you. You are at Susan's, you are safe with this family.

[kelly_aus]

I was terrified of telling my family and friends.. Turns out there was no real need, I had almost 100% acceptance - even from those I had thought were guaranteed to walk away..  The fear didn't stop me though, I am who I am and will/can not  go back to being who I was.. The one person who did walk away, was someone I realised that was never a great friend any way..

And Cindy is right, you'll always have a family here..

[apple pie]

At the risk of sounding very silly, I'd say that there's almost no chance that you'll end up being alone.

Suppose there's about one-half chance that someone does not accept you. What's the chance that out of 20 people, all 20 of them don't accept you? It's one-half to the power of 20, or about 1 in a million. So there's a 99.9999% chance that you won't be alone (Susan's Place aside)

But the silly stuff aside... I can understand how it feels too. I still haven't told most of my relatives myself. So I'm afraid to some extent too, because losing even one or a few would be a big deal already! But you definitely won't be alone... and there will (almost certainly ) always be friends who will support you!

[Diane Elizabeth]

   As I have stated myself.  I am also afraid to come out.  My therapist says that I will when I am ready to tell others.  Though I "chickened out" the other week in talking to my mother.  My therapist just said that I must not have been ready.  When I am then I will.

[varelse]

Well, I've talked to my mother, and my best friend, and both of them support me, but I'm still apprehensive about telling everyone else. A little less, but still.

[Hikari]

Well, I've talked to my mother, and my best friend, and both of them support me, but I'm still apprehensive about telling everyone else. A little less, but still.

That is an excellent start, just tell other people when you are ready. I think you will do fine, because most of us assume an outcome that is worse than the reality of the situation. In time hopefully you will be more comfortable with yourself, and have an easier time telling people at least, that is how it has been with me.

[justmeinoz]

From comments I have read here I have come to the conclusion that there are national and cultural  differences in attitude to TS, so I can only speak from my own  experience which has  been overwhelmingly positive.

  I explained  GID as a medical problem of Foetal brain development with a medical remedy, not a psychiatric problem.   The most common response was a, "well, if that is what it takes for you to live a happy life then."

Karen.

[LadyTeresa]

@justmeinoz Whenever I'm told "Whatever makes you happy" I reply "It's not what makes me happy it's what make me be"

As for telling your family and friends, just do it.   You'll have to eventually so take a breath and get it over with.

Teresa

[tekla]

there are national and cultural  differences in attitude to TS

and class differences within those nations and cultures.

[valyn_faer]

there are national and cultural  differences in attitude to TS

and class differences within those nations and cultures.

And racial differences within those class differences within those nations and cultures. Etc, etc. 

[AprilAero]

taking the first step is the most difficult thing I ever did but it is so worth it take it from a girl who has been living in her true gender for about a year and a half and I love ever second of my life. I saved my life by transitioning.
May you achieve true happiness very soon.

[blake]

I'm also afraid.

I don't ever plan to come out to my parents, for personal safety reasons. Dad got arrested recently for beating up my sister, and she was just banging on the door to get his attention. Plus, he is strongly X-phobic (insert any value for X). My mother also likes getting creative with weapons. It's not worth it, and (this sounds horrible) I am thinking of cutting ties with them altogether. Also can't tell my sister, because she will disclose as soon as an argument happens. That kills me, because we are really close.

Some people are ok to know. My boyfriend knows. My roommate has an idea something's up (thanks to hearing part of my coming-out phone call to my boyfriend, and witnessing my boy-centric wardrobe). New friends? I'm okay with coming out to them, I don't feel that they expect much of me at this stage. But old friends that grew up alongside a female? Tough crowd. I'm not ready to come out to them. Probably won't do it unless I'm already living full-time.

I think I'll become less scared as time goes on. Hope so.

Best of luck to you all... it's a massive thing we're going through.

[Louise Scott]

I'm sorry to say, but I'm afraid of coming out. I'm afraid to tell my friends, in case I lose them, but I'm more afraid to tell my family. I'm just scared that I'll alienate myself from them. I just don't want to end up alone, with nobody to support me.

I feel the same, its loosing all that are close to me thats putting me off

[Alyssa91]

It is scary, but it has to be done sooner or later, right?

So why not sooner? That way it's over with.

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

this could help, i'm sure you have pent up anger of having to live in the wrong gender while everyone around you gets to live the way they like. i'm sure you've been cheated out of alot because of having to live this way. i would take the anger, and use it as a precursor to you coming out and just being you. it helped me build my confidence in living full time when i channeled my anger into it, and just said "i deserve as much as any of the rest of these people to live a decent life, and no ones going to stop me." did anyone try to stop me? no, hardly. if anything, i think a few are just intimidated, but i remain unaffected by it. these are my current words to live by "it's time for me to live in peace. i deserve to live in peace. i've felt this pain for about 17 years, and i won't lose sleep at night for those who don't want to deal with it."

[Cindy]

I have to admit that so far I have not lost a single friend, I didn't have many anyway. I have gained many and their friendship has been open, honest and supportive.  People, at least in Australia appear to be very relaxed. I'm at a point that I now go to the same hotel restaurant most Saturday nights for dinner. It is close to home so I can walk and have a few drinks and not worry about driving. I now introduce myself to people in the coffee, lounge bar section after dinner and have had no negative reactions at all from complete strangers.  They have been totally accepting and we have had great conversation.

You never know how it goes until you try.

I do know that my friend Kelly had a very negative reaction from a friend. Who then contacted her again with an abject apology. So don't get put off. Tell the truth; with my friends and colleagues I have told them they can ask any questions they wish and I will try and answer them. That usually shuts them up

Be strong and be careful is the way to go.

Cindy

[kelly_aus]

I do know that my friend Kelly had a very negative reaction from a friend. Who then contacted her again with an abject apology. So don't get put off. Tell the truth; with my friends and colleagues I have told them they can ask any questions they wish and I will try and answer them. That usually shuts them up

Be strong and be careful is the way to go.

Cindy

And for his sins he owes me a rather expensive dinner - he just doesn't realise how expensive yet... 

[Cindy]

And for his sins he owes me a rather expensive dinner - he just doesn't realise how expensive yet... 

Love that honey!

Does he have to buy you the gown to go to dinner in ?