My T frustrations and voice not changing.

[Dominick_81]

I've been about 7 and half months on T and my voice is going high again as if it never changed. At 7 and a half months I would think my voice would be completely male. I'm extremely frustrated.  Why is my voice going back to being high again? Has anyone experience their vocie gioing from low to high?

I just got my blood work Sept. 1st and my blood work before that was May 3rd, and even though I was on a half dose, My T levels were too high. My endo doctor didn't know she had to give me blood work to check my T levels every 3 months so my T levels were high for God knows how long. I'm on an even lower doseage now.  At this point in my transition I should look completely male... right? I feel I experience no changes on 7 and a half months I've been on T.  I started T Feb. 15th 2010. The only changes I've experience is hair, acne, maybe my face is a little rounder. I feel as if I don't look any more masculine then I did before T. I look exacly the same. I'm so frustrated after being this long on T. I look at other guys and they look completely make only a couple months on T and their voice is completely male at like 2 months.

I know changes are different for eveyone, but this is way to long to to be on T and not look more mascuine than I did before T and my voice to still sound female.

[Nygeel]

One thing I noticed was that I try to keep talking from the same part of my throat as I did pre-t. It was hard to relax my throat and slow down.

If you think this might be the issue for you then play around with your voice. Mine wasn't really passing til maybe 9 or 10 months, and even with that my control still isn't very good.

[Jigsaw]

If your t levels were too high maybe that is why. The extra t was being converted to estrogen?  That's all I can think of.

[anibioman]

If your t levels were too high maybe that is why. The extra t was being converted to estrogen?  That's all I can think of.

i was thinking the same thing.

[Dominick_81]

@Jigsaw @anibioman: I was thinking that too, but wasn't sure.

@Nygeel: I'm not really sure what the problem is. I just talk how I normally talk. I kinda put a disguise on it so it sounds deeper. But it's frustrating when it's high. It's makes it sound like T didn't change my voice at all.

[GentlemanRDP]

One thing that I noticed Dominick is that I can't talk from the same part of my throat now, it's uncomfortable - and I sound higher too. I can actually feel my throat rumble when I talk and it's fantastic. I've only been on T for three months, but my T was extremely low before, A mere 43 (Yikes) and even my doctor was surprised by the change that came with only one month. Everyone is going to be different. Play around with your voice for a week or so, and if you're still unhappy with it, bring it up with your doctor. It's about all that you can do.

[Arch]

my T was extremely low before, A mere 43 (Yikes)

I hate to keep harping on this, but I don't want people to get inaccurate information. By current lab standards, 43 is not at all low for a "girl."

Dominick, changes could be slow for you because you're on a low dose or because (even on that dose) you have excess T that is converting to E and/or because your body just takes longer than some. It's hard to say. I'm curious, though--did you have your E checked, too? In addition, will you be getting your T levels checked again soon? Have you had to reduce your dosage to bring your levels down?

Also, have you done any vlogs or voice tests to see if your voice has changed at all? Sometimes our worst fears interfere with our ability to perceive what is actually going on.

I understand your frustration, but see what happens in the next six months. And keep getting feedback from other guys--it's possible that quite a few of them took a long time to get into tenor range.

[Dominick_81]

Thanks GentlemanRDP.

I hate to keep harping on this, but I don't want people to get inaccurate information. By current lab standards, 43 is not at all low for a "girl."

Dominick, changes could be slow for you because you're on a low dose or because (even on that dose) you have excess T that is converting to E and/or because your body just takes longer than some. It's hard to say. I'm curious, though--did you have your E checked, too? In addition, will you be getting your T levels checked again soon? Have you had to reduce your dosage to bring your levels down?

Also, have you done any vlogs or voice tests to see if your voice has changed at all? Sometimes our worst fears interfere with our ability to perceive what is actually going on.

I understand your frustration, but see what happens in the next six months. And keep getting feedback from other guys--it's possible that quite a few of them took a long time to get into tenor range.

Nope, I don't believe my E has been checked, and I'm assuming E means estrogen? I think she only has my T levels checked.

Yes, She did lower my dosage again and it's less than half a dosage now. The doctor said in another 8 weeks to get my T levels checked again.

Yes, I do voice check recordings and some are low and my most recent recording sounds high again. I just did the recording a couple days ago. My voice just goes from low to high. It's driving my crazy. I just want it to stay low.

At this point on T I should feel a whole lot of confidence that I pass as a guy and go by Dominick. But When I compare my transition to other  guys I'm no where near looking as masculine as I should, so my confidence goes down.

[Arch]

Yes, I do voice check recordings and some are low and my most recent recording sounds high again. I just did the recording a couple days ago. My voice just goes from low to high. It's driving my crazy. I just want it to stay low.

That's very odd. I actually went through a sort of squeaky period, and my voice was cracking all over the place. But it had already dropped a bit before that.

It's good that you're getting your levels rechecked pretty soon. Once you get that sorted out, then you can be sure that the T isn't converting to estrogen, at least.

I remember that period of uncertainty when I worried that my voice wouldn't change enough...it was very stressful. I'd wanted a male voice for my entire adult life, and I was having a moment of truth that went on for months and months. So I know what it's like.

Just remember that you ARE male, regardless of your voice. I know that doesn't help much, but it's true.

[TheAetherealMeadow]

Sometimes the voice box, for whatever reason, does not grow very much in response to testosterone, or the voice box does grow but your voice remains high because you're not used to the size increase of the voice box so you unconsciously modify your voice to mold your voice box into the way it was before. This happens to cis guys too. They have all the usual secondary sex characteristics, but their voice retains a prepubescent sound. If the cause is the latter, voice therapy can help. I wouldn't be too worried about it. Eventually you will have a beard, etc. and you will have strong male gender cues that will overpower that. Whenever I encounter guys with a voice in the female pitch range (it's more common than you think!), I actually find that I tend mentally interpret their voice as lower than it actually is due to other male gender cues (beard, etc.)

ETA: Perfect example of this is actor Michael Cera. In terms of pitch, his voice falls into androynous range. However, when you see his face, he doesn't sound like a woman or prepubescent boy at all, he sounds like a grown man, just his voice is less deep compared to to other men. It's because of his intonations as well as other male gender cues. If you compare Michael Cera's voice to Miley Cyrus, you'd actually find Miley's voice is slightly lower than Michael's. However, they still both sound like their gender, and most people actually wouldn't notice that Miley's voice is slightly deeper until you point it out and play interviews of them side by side. It's all because of things like voice intonation as well as appearance that affect the perception of the gender of one's voice.

[tvc15]

Everyone here is correct. As your voice box grows you have to speak from lower and lower in your throat and chest to hear the change. I am 14 weeks on T and if I try to speak from the same part of my throat as pre-T my voice breaks and cracks all over the place. There is a slightly lower range that I can use without that happening, but I can go even lower than that, but it's not really natural yet. It's all a matter of retraining your muscle memory.

One thing you can use to track your progress easily is singing. It doesn't matter if you can't hold a tune. This should work even if you shatter glasses routinely when you try to sing. As time goes by pay attention to your range when singing the same songs. I always feel like my voice never gets any deeper but I keep gradually being able to reach lower and lower ranges. That stuff is just impossible if your vocal cords aren't big enough, so that is a sure sign of real progress.

And I'm pretty sure that a voice can't get higher once it's been lowered by T, so maybe the worrying is in your head.

[sneakersjay]

I am over 3 years on T.  My voice did change a few times, then stayed at this horrible place for the longest time.  Just recently dropped again these past few months.  So don't give up!  It's still soon.


Jay

[Dominick_81]

@Arch: Thanks. My voice never cracked. Two of my mothers friends notice my voice change and said something to me, and at that time it was low and that was maybe a month ago. And I just asked my friend about my voice and he noticed that it goes from low to high too sometimes.

@tvc15: How come I can't just talk regular, like in my normal voice? Wouldn't my voice still be deeper talking in my regular voice? Am I not supposed to talk in my regular voice? Am I supposed to talk in a deep voice to get a deeper voice?

@TheAetherealMeadow: My endo doc says I won't be able to grow a full beard b/c I still have my ovaries intact. I don't plan on getting a hysto. I really wanna grow a go -T though, but not sure I'm gunna be able too. A lot of trans guys I see grow facial hair under their chin. I don't know if they can grow anything else so they grow facial hair there? I don't know if trans guys who still have their ovaries intact can still grow a go-T...? I'd also love to get a 5 o' clock shadow.

@sneakersjay: Thanks.

[KamAus]

Sometimes I've noticed that I don't feel like I sound very male at all with my voice but to others my voice is really deep. Sometimes it helps if you record your voice to see the change. Like I knew what my voice sounded like pre-T but in my head I felt like my voice was still high. I recorded it and noticed the change. I've also had to learn to slow down when I talk, that also helps.

Another thing with my transition I've noticed is that for the first couple of months my voice was squeaking and cracking badly, then dropped. Nowadays it's like when my voice cracks badly say for a couple days or so and keeps doing it I know my voice is going to drop again very soon. For some reason it works like that for me. Not sure if it's the same for everybody else but just something I've noticed about myself. I've been told I sound deeper than my Dad now which I thought was cool.

I know of quite a few guys whose voice didn't drop much at all in the first two years but they had all the other changes. It was frustrating for them and thought the T wasn't working so well but overtime their voices deepened into that of a male range. Like I've said before it depends on the person, everybody is different. Try and be patient, it will happen for you.

Also try not to compare yourself to others. That can make your transition harder, you will just get yourself down. It's your own journey.

[Dominick_81]

@KamAus: Thanks. I hope the changes come soon. I feel like I haven't had much. My voice never squeaked or cracked on T. I heard a lot of guys voices doing that, but mine hasn't at all.  That's awesome your voice is deeper than your dads.

[Arch]

@TheAetherealMeadow: My endo doc says I won't be able to grow a full beard b/c I still have my ovaries intact.

Well, I don't want to diss your endo, but this is pure crap. I know a whole boatload of young trans guys who haven't had hysto but who have loads of facial hair.

A couple of the guys said that you might still be speaking from the throat when you need to speak from deeper than you're used to, or that you might be unconsciously altering your voice to fit other people's perceptions of you. I don't know much about the first phenomenon, but I've run into a few guys who said they spoke in a higher voice in certain situations, like with family or friends who still called them "she." It sounds as if your voice is always higher, though.

I did think of something else. If you are really young, you might go through something like a more typical puberty, so your voice could take longer to drop. I don't know if this is likely; it could be pure fantasy. But I thought I'd throw it out there.

[sneakersjay]

Arch, it doesn't necessarily take cis guys long during puberty for their voices to drop.  It has been maybe 3 months of obvious puberty for my 13 year old to have a pretty deep voice already.

When I said my voice was stuck at a crappy place, it was weak, scratchy, and I was unable to really project at all without it going higher.  I *hated* it.  Then I heard a few cis men my age with sort of similar voices, though they could at least project, and I was ok.  Not sure what happened these past few months but it is a bit deeper, steadier, not scratchy, and I can project.  It's odd, but I'm not complaining!


Jay

[Dominick_81]

@Arch: That's good to know that I'll be able grow something. I'm getting anxious about it. I can't wait to grow a go-T.  If I don't talk in my regular voice it doesn't sound normal, it sounds like I'm disguising my voice. Is that what I'm supposed to do... disguise my voice to get it deeper?

"I did think of something else. If you are really young, you might go through something like a more typical puberty, so your voice could take longer to drop. I don't know if this is likely; it could be pure fantasy. But I thought I'd throw it out there."


I'm 29.

[Arch]

I'm 29.

Hey, then you're really young.

Not sure what happened these past few months but it is a bit deeper, steadier, not scratchy, and I can project.  It's odd, but I'm not complaining!

Jay, I'm glad you finally reached a state of stability. I was anxious about my voice until I reached a stable baritone (took about a year and a half, I think), but most of that time, my voice wasn't scratchy or squeaky. I think I lucked out. But I would love for it to go deeper still. If your change came at three years, I suppose there's still hope for me. But I certainly can't complain.

[Luc]

Um... where was your endo licensed? I know this has been covered, but there are tons of ftm guys with ovaries who have no problem growing facial hair, myself included. I could grow a full beard by 6 months on T, and 3 years on T now, I'm pretty well hairy from head to toe and have no plans of having a hysterectomy/oophorectomy any time soon. It doesn't really sound like your endo knows what he's talking about... and is it possible that your problems are stemming from that (as in, is it possible that he's not too adept at his job and may be giving you misinformation as per your dosage?)?

I know it's recommended to get your levels checked regularly, and that a lot of doctors will adjust T dosage according to test results. Personally, though, I've been on a full dose, weekly, for 3 years, have never been able to afford T level testing, and have had faster changes than most of the ftm guys I know.