Validation Of One's Transsexuality

[Stormy Weather]

OK. After a few minutes googling around I know exactly what place you are coming from... peace and best wishes to you.

[rhonda13000]

I mean you no malice, sis.

We do not concur with each other, but somehow that seems to be insufficient grounds to execute a duel at two paces, with RPGs.

Or even a rubber-band gun.

[Ricki]

I'm the last dragon perhaps....

I would say they do suffer from Gender Dysphoria, but it's just not intense enough to qualify them as a transsexual because by definition, a transsexual will be so uncomfortable in their birth gender they will effectively need to transition.  I think there are people on here that suffer with *some* degree of gender dysphoria, but it's not strong enough where transisioning becomes the only viable option

The H Benjamin doctrines all say this and that and transition is marketed because it is the only option.  Medicine has not provided another one (cure) or another way.
I do not have another option but because of my own convictions refuse to believe this is the only option for me.  I am stronger than this, and if right now as stated in many texts its either transition or die, then some day i may die. 
This is me.....
but my genderism or feelings are not negotiable based on text or a yardstick of transitioning.  Scores-successes- literary posts of successful transitions and those successful transitions touting that if they can do it everyone can do it or should...
We should be mindful of each others expectations and limitations
If one cancer patient survives how come all do not?  If one person survives a 90 foot fall how come 1100 others have not? 
Our very own peoples in this small civilization we live in should be mindful of this and not create to much separation.
I do not define anyones gender or pretend to think i can tell them at what threshold they should be at.  often times in posts the statements or comments are made that "once" you transition you'll this or that.  I do not know but because some have fought the battle and have attained that others may not be able to, we should be considerate of these folks and not automatically put them on a graduating scale...
sorry but because i do not transition does not mean anything less i have just found ways to survive and perhaps put off the inevitable...
dearest luv....
I'm feeling a little free spirited tonight (no not alcohol induced ) so bear with me and not take my post any way but just as my own feelings...
Ricki

[rhonda13000]

OK. After a few minutes googling around I know exactly what place you are coming from... peace and best wishes to you.

Actually that is not necessarily true.

Can people change?

Can people improve?

Can people HEAL?

I have nothing to hide.

[Maud]

I have nothing to hide.

Out of interest and this is no way ment to me provcational what exactly cant you comply with in the SOC? personally I've found it a doddle.

[rhonda13000]

Money and career.

[Cindi Jones]

Money and career.

Yes.... should you pursue transition, you'll likely lose both.  But this is true whether you follow the standards of care or not. Pretty overwhelming isn't it?

Cindi

[Melissa]

Money and career.

Yes.... should you pursue transition, you'll likely lose both.  But this is true whether you follow the standards of care or not. Pretty overwhelming isn't it?

But this is not always the case as I have demonstrated.  And yes, I have followed the SOC.

Melissa

[Stormy Weather]

But this is not always the case as I have demonstrated.  And yes, I have followed the SOC.

Likewise.

And in fact, both my career, income, degree and variety of professional contacts and freelance clients have flourished beyond anything I could have imagined 10 years ago.

Perhaps because I work in a creative field (graphic designer and studio manager), perhaps because I'm at peace with myself, perhaps because I wouldn't accept the barriers before me, perhaps because I pass OK, and perhaps because I worked and do work extremely hard with long hours... but transitioning has, without a single shred of doubt, been the making of me. And the money I work hard for will go towards paying for my FFS next year...

Not one part of this is luck... 10 years ago I was homeless. On the streets. With an opiate habit. So no-one can tell me that challenges can't be overcome.

[Steph]

I would just like to jump in here and add my 2¢ if I may

All this doom and gloom.  Embarking on transition should never be taken lightly, in fact if it is not planned it can end in miserable failure.  We always recommend erring on the side of caution, plan for the worst etc. but often this is not the case.

Money and careers are often listed as barriers to transition, but the truth is all it takes is a little intestinal fortitude to over come this.  If you are TS you will do anything to reach your goal.  Sell your stuff, adjust your lifestyle, move to cheaper accommodation, cash in bonds, life insurance etc find more work, I worked three jobs myself.  I gave up a 30 year military career and I survived, folks often say, I can't, I can't I can't, when in actual fact they mean I won't...  A big difference.

Steph

[rhonda13000]

Money and career.

Yes.... should you pursue transition, you'll likely lose both.  But this is true whether you follow the standards of care or not. Pretty overwhelming isn't it?

Cindi

I'm trying to discern the tone of yours, but in any case it would be nothing more than speculation and therefore unworthy of voicing.

The probability suggested is suspect.

It is necessarily contingent upon a number of variables.

It isn't possible to prognosticate what will happen and what happens to one girl will not by necessity, happen to another.

I would just like to jump in here and add my 2¢ if I may

All this doom and gloom.  Embarking on transition should never be taken lightly, in fact if it is not planned it can end in miserable failure.  We always recommend erring on the side of caution, plan for the worst etc. but often this is not the case.

Money and careers are often listed as barriers to transition, but the truth is all it takes is a little intestinal fortitude to over come this.  If you are TS you will do anything to reach your goal.  Sell your stuff, adjust your lifestyle, move to cheaper accommodation, cash in bonds, life insurance etc find more work, I worked three jobs myself.  I gave up a 30 year military career and I survived, folks often say, I can't, I can't I can't, when in actual fact they mean I won't...  A big difference.

Steph

Life is a little more complex than that, my sister.

[Cindi Jones]

Rhonda,

You're a kick. The bottom line is that you can get what you really want.  I see kids who work at McDonalds who drive new four wheel drive trucks.  Certainly, most of us have more on the ball than they do.

Cindi

[rhonda13000]

Rhonda,

You're a kick. The bottom line is that you can get what you really want.  I see kids who work at McDonalds who drive new four wheel drive trucks.  Certainly, most of us have more on the ball than they do.

Cindi

Pejorative?

[Melissa]

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." --Henry Ford

Melissa

[Cindi Jones]

Rhonda,

You're a kick. The bottom line is that you can get what you really want.  I see kids who work at McDonalds who drive new four wheel drive trucks.  Certainly, most of us have more on the ball than they do.

Cindi

Pejorative?

Nope...My comment about "You're a kick" is purely friendly.  Excellent vocuabulary and deep thinker.  The truck thang.... it's ....

impetus



Cindi

[Julie Marie]

folks often say, I can't, I can't I can't, when in actual fact they mean I won't...  A big difference.

Steph

Thank you Steph!  Perfectly stated!

Many years ago I was talking "can'ts" about crossdressing and being out in public.  I was asked to replace "can't" with "won't" then asked which sounded more accurate.  I had to be honest, "won't" was more accurate.

Life is a series of choices.  We can make compromises or damn the torpedoes.  If we want something badly enough there is a way.  The "can't" argument is just an excuse not to act.  I feared rejection the deeply.  But I feared loss of the will to live even more.  I made my choice and I lost a lot but I gained an inner peace I never thought I'd have. 

Our lives take place in the space between our ears.  We are in control if we want to be.  The choice is ours to make.

Julie

[rhonda13000]

folks often say, I can't, I can't I can't, when in actual fact they mean I won't...  A big difference.

Steph

Thank you Steph!  Perfectly stated!

Many years ago I was talking "can'ts" about crossdressing and being out in public.  I was asked to replace "can't" with "won't" then asked which sounded more accurate.  I had to be honest, "won't" was more accurate.

Life is a series of choices.  We can make compromises or damn the torpedoes.  If we want something badly enough there is a way.  The "can't" argument is just an excuse not to act.  I feared rejection the deeply.  But I feared loss of the will to live even more.  I made my choice and I lost a lot but I gained an inner peace I never thought I'd have. 

Our lives take place in the space between our ears.  We are in control if we want to be.  The choice is ours to make.

Julie

Hmmmm...partially inapplicable.

Has it ever been observed how life often 'gets in the way' and tends to complicate or exacerbate an already difficult and stressful 'event' or process?

Things are more often than not perhaps, not so simple and straightforward as they seem.

If all was simply a matter of pure volitional impetus and control, it would truly be a never ending "beautiful day in the neighborhood", would it not?

But it isn't and one has out of both duty and love, obligations and responsibilities to others.

[Maud]

None of your loved ones want you to be miserable, even if they don't understand what it takes for you to not be.


One of the first things my sister told me after I told her was that it was pretty obvious how utterly miserable I was "people do notice you know when you're utterly miserable", you can't live your life in servitude of others because of their prejudice and misunderstanding, as a good friend once told them while I was obsessing over this "f***'em" (if they can't deal with it).

[rhonda13000]

Rhonda,

You're a kick. The bottom line is that you can get what you really want.  I see kids who work at McDonalds who drive new four wheel drive trucks.  Certainly, most of us have more on the ball than they do.

Cindi

Pejorative?

Nope...My comment about "You're a kick" is purely friendly.  Excellent vocuabulary and deep thinker.  The truck thang.... it's ....

impetus



Cindi

(cried out)

It's been a rather horrible day; emotionally devastating.

Thanx for that, Cindi. Words such as yours really help.