Choosing a name?

[Username]

So I thought I wouldn't want to change my name past making it shorter (into my nickname) but I've decided that I will. I just can't come up with anything and it's been a few months, I'm getting frustrated, i thought I'd come here for some advise.

I've chosen my middle name, what my parents were going to name me if I was born a boy, which ironically, everybody thought my mom was having a boy and she did... in a roundabout way. I was going to have it as my first name but then my mom just happened to mention that she would have nicknamed me Maxi and not Max like i imagined... oh my... you can probably see what that reminds me of.

Names I like seem to be ruined for me. I get like a weird aversion to them if I discover they're religious (I'm not religious) or i even freak out if it's somebody's name in a movie, I feel like I'm stealing it..., and if it reminds me of something like Maxi it's even worse. I feel that when I tell people I've chosen my name they will judge me on my choice.

I'm wondering how you chose your name? Or any tips to get over this weird thing I have with names.

[Dominick_81]

As long as you like the name, go for it. When I told some co-workers that I choice Dominick as my name, they were telling me I don't look like a Dominick and to them their vision of Dominick was a fat bald old guy. 

I choose my name after I saw "Kindergarten Cop" back when it came out. Dominick just seemed to stick. I've tried other names, but they didn't work. They didn't feel like it was mine. Dominick feels like it's my name, and I really wanted a name that was different, but none of those names stuck for me, they didn't feel like they were mine.

I don't know of any tips to get over this thing you have with names, but if you like that name and you feel connected to it, you should use it. Maybe you can associate Maxi with something else, something that doesn't bother you or maybe try changing the spelling?

[Dante]

Choosing a name is hard. My advice; don't get too hung up on what other people think of the name. I mean, I picked Dante, which I honestly just like the sound and meaning of, but everyone associates the name with Dante from Devil May Cry (who is a total badass, btw), so they kinda look at me funny sometimes.

Anyway, just pick a name that sounds good to you. If meanings are important to you, try to find one that has an interesting meaning (there are plenty with no religious context) if you can. This is a great website to look up names:
http://www.behindthename.com/
It has lists of popular names by birth year, name origins and definitions, and all kinds of other things. Very useful.

Good luck!

[PandaValentine]

I advise to let nobody influence you. I did that... I've been struggeling with my name my entire life. While I was choosing a name I asked other people for their opinions, some I took, and when I didn't like their opinions I went in the opposite direction, made a mistake and had to legally change my name for the second time.

I also associate names with celebrities/people I know/knew, but when it came down to it, I found a name that I've encountered a few times and it never really felt like stealing because it felt like it was my name. I also don't like religious names, in fact the first time I picked my name I made sure every thing was non-religious but when I found the name I liked I realised that I had to let that go. I went through a few names prior to coming out as trans. After coming out I went through Mickey, Riley, Kaiden, Jayden, Hayden, Dallas, Parker, and Finally Jay/Jacob. It can be easy for some, they just know the name that's right for them or they never had issues with their birth name so they just masculinise it, but I couldn't do that, I never could. I picked a name like Jacob which obviously gets me a lot of annoying remarks because of stupid Twilight, and my sister called me Werewolf for a few weeks, and at times I also act really stupid/crazy like Jacob from the band Hedley, but it feels like it's mine. I think having three middle names also makes me more comfortble, because the more middle names you have, the more options of names you have to be called by.

You got to do a little walking in a pair of shoes before you can get used to them, just like with names, you got to try them out. Go by whatever name you want for a week or so, even if it currently bothers you for some reason and if it still bothers you don't use it. I made the mistake by not listening to my gut, changed my name to Parker even though I regretted it before I even sent the papers out for the legal name change, it took a year to get the courage to tell people I made a mistake, though I knew it since before I mailed it. Funny... in an 'I can't believe I wasted all that money because I'm so stubborn' kind of way.

Oh and everyone will judge you on your choice of name, when someone says a name I also get an image of what I think that person looks like in my head. I relate this to people I've known or just if the name sounds really manly, in the middle, rich, feminine, unique, foreign and so on.

[Darrin Scott]

I think once you hear/see the right name, it'll come to you. I heard the name Darrin in the 1960's TV sitcom "Bewitched". It just stuck to me. It's my name. It seems like others here have had similar experiences. I think the right name might come to you.

[mimpi]

Max often ends up being called Maxi anyway. Personally I like Maxi and it works for males, there's Maxi Rodriguez the footballer who plays for Liverpool. At the end of the day it's the Max.

[Bunpile]

OP, you'll find that many, many common names in the West have religious roots. "Theodore" and "Matthew" for instance both mean "Gift from God". And those that don't have religious meaning can often be linked to saints, angels or books/writers from the bible.  I don't see why that would ruin it for anyone, though. If you have a name that just sounds right and it rolls off you're tongue... You're good to go!

I had a unisex name to begin with, so names were never really an issue for me. 

[Felix]

I really wanted a name similar to my original name, or at least my initials, but that felt restrictive and silly. I also thought transitioning might be easier with an androgynous name. Religious connotations led me to nix Elijah and a couple others I liked.

My daughter suggested Jasper, which I love. When I'd play video games I'd often use Sidney, Rufus, Simon...a lot of names I like don't actually feel right for me. I ended up choosing Felix, just because it felt good. 

Be careful listening to advice. Everybody seems to know somebody with any name you might come up with, and people will use your looks to suggest names that you don't like, and really this is your choice. Pick something that feels comfortable on you, and don't be afraid to experiment a little.

[GentlemanRDP]

I know how you feel, when I was choosing my name, I went through pretty much the same thing. I had this instant aversion to a name if I knew something with it personally. I really liked Derek, but had a friend with that name in high school, and also work with someone who has that name >__O; My mother would have named me Jared had I been a boy, but I kept thinking of Jared Leto and was like, if I tell them that I have a huge fetish for Mr. Leto, they'll think I picked that name just to be like him xD Eventually, I stumbled upon Darius through baby name searches, which sometimes I think about changing because my mother calls me Darius Rucker >O< AGH! ... .__. But when it comes down to it, even though I don't like it sometimes, it fits and I know that nothing else will ever fit any better.

Don't feel about about taking months to choose your name.

I took months too. You might have to play around with names for quite a while in order to find one that fits, and it might not even be one that jumps out at you - Darius didn't jump out at me until I heard someone call me that xD

Good luck!

[BMXJake]

I think names find you.
I'm farrrrr from changing my name, the soonest I could or would is MAYBE a year (and that's not even legally, haha). But once I decided I wanted to at least start pursuing transition, what my name would be became a popular subject among my girlfriend and friends that I was out to.
I looked at lists in baby names online and made a list of ones I liked (I narrowed it down to like a list of maybe 6 or 7, I think Austin, Logan, Ian, Derek were some of them). But even then I wasn't sure or couldn't find anything I felt  would "stick".
My name is originally male and WAS supposed to be male. My mom didn't know my sex until I was born, (which, ironically, everyone, including my mom who saw me in the O.R thought I was male until the doctor came back and was like, "nope". Haha) My mom was sticking with Gabriel even after she found out I was female, but after some reeling from my grandmother she changed it to Gabrielle. Since hearing this story when I was 15, I tell everyone it's pronounced Gabriel, and 'le' was tacked as a gender "tip" to folks who read my name (Go figure. Technically it was though). The other male name my mom picked for me is Michael, but she gave the name to my baby brother (well, middle name), and I'm just not a Mike. I don't like the other names she likes, especially cause I feel like they're too popular/"common" and/or don't suit me. (I'm not out to my mom, I just know these things). My friends would always suggest names I didn't like or couldn't see myself as. I would rack my brain allll the time about what my name would be.
Then, one day, I don't how, or why, but something came up about the Trojan war. Troy has stuck ever since. At first it was a strong maybe, but I've grown really attached. Unlike a lot of guys, I like my birth name (I think it's cause it's unisex) but also want to start fresh. I like short names, and Gabriel is just too long for me. I really don't like the nickname Gabe for me, and I can't and don't want to keep Gabi. I'm unsure if I'd keep Gabriel and make Troy my middle, or make Gabriel my middle, but I currently don't have a middle name and actually really like it.

Anyway, like I've said (and many others), I think names find you. Just keep an ear out :]

[SecretAgent]

When I first started looking into this type of thing, a name was, of course, one of the fun little things that dropped from the ceiling with everything else. Though, it was also a bit of a hassle. One thing I do is create many characters for comics I draw; as imagined in my not-so-creativity, I've been through pages of baby name sites. I found a few things I liked, a lot in other languages, meaning something very deep and emotional, being both masculine and feminine in one. Sure, I liked them, but I never really felt the connection.

After a while of pondering over what I wanted people to call me, just attempting to try out a male name, I said, screw it. My parents had told me that, if I had been a boy, my name would have been Marmaduke Semmes, "Duke" for short. I loved this name, and still do, but I didn't feel like it fit me right. My friends, as a joke, would call me "Kale," and nothing made me happier than to hear that~ It was closer to my female name, and I already went by it a bit. It held masculine ring to it for me, while keeping the soft sound I liked in my own. I'm not sure if I would want to change my middle name out of respect for my parents and heritage, but, even if they don't call me it that often, I still love to be called Kale. Really it just took time and thought to find what I liked, and though I'm still in a place where I can't come out and just say "Hello, World, call me Kale!", I'm thrilled for when I can!

[Tomas]

For me it was easy. I think names are just words, nothing else, so I didn´t took it seriously. I wrote several names on a piece of paper, names that sounded good to me. Then I chose top three names (Matěj-Matthew in English, Michal-Michael in English and Tomáš-Thomas in English) and after some thinking I marked the best one - Tomáš (the pronunciation is like Tomaash). I like the sound of it, then I have the same initials as before, it can be shortened - Tom, Tomi, it also sounds good in English - Thomas and it characterizes my person quite well - Thomas from the Bible didn´t believe until he saw Jesus with his own eyes (I am not a believer to the intent that I am a member of the church but I believe there´s something bigger and I often doubt about many things until I am convinced). I am very satisfied with my name and no one has problem with it or criticises my choice.

[dmx]

Hahaha. Sorry but the Maxi thing made me laugh. You could still go by Max though.

I chose my first name just because I like it and feel it suits me. It meets all my criteria for a name, lol. So I tried going by it on chat rooms first, then at a youth event where no one knew me, then to my friends and yeah, it stuck ever since. My first name is Ryan btw.

My middle name, Michael, is the one I would have been given if I was born male... it's also my dad's name.

Also, I traced my family history back as far as I could, to a guy born in 1830. I was considering taking his name as my middle name... that woulda been my second choice.

Whatever you choose I suggest something that has actual significance or meaning to you, not just something that sounds good. There are many names I like better than my own but I don't feel any of them would actually portray me accurately. Remember this will be your name for life so I don't suggest choosing anything pretentious or trendy.

[Clay]

I think names find you.
[...]

Anyway, like I've said (and many others), I think names find you. Just keep an ear out :]

yeah, this. since i'm a little more observant regarding names (because i need a new one, huh) i had one BINGO! moment thus far. it'll be my middle name (and the one i intend to go by), it's scandinavian which is great because i don't like most german names and the ones i like simply don't work here, but i this one will be just fine and doesn't sound too german.
now i'm thinking what to do with my first.... keep the initial or go for something completely new, ask my mum or something... uh, i just don't know. it feels restricting somehow but i'll have my chosen name anyways so we'll see

[vik2ray]

well my name was chosen under interesting circumstances. i suppose most call me ray which has stuck but i intend on getting it changed to raven nagisa. in my oppinion it means unclean bird near water. whixh i find is good because in a way it reflects me. names i considered in the past where marcel, kane, tai,luther, samuel, and rick. funny how things change