Transition increasing your capacity for "bromance"?

[Leek]

Maybe bromance isn't the right word. (This is kind of geared toward straight-ish transguys, but I guess it doesn't matter.)

As you move along in transition, did you experience any, like, "physical" feelings towards guys that you didn't have before, but they weren't gay feelings? It's hard to describe. Like, not romantic feelings, but kind of more along the lines of "Dude, let's take a shower in the locker rooms together after a game of catch and touch each other inappropriately, dude. Cause we're dudes, Bro."

Know what I mean? I just wonder how common it is.

(Maybe it's just part of the increase in sex drive. I still only ever have romantic feelings for women and feminine men, but my ability to have some kind of sexual feeling for different types of people increased, though it's still not as strong and it's still not the same as I have for feminine people. What do you think?)

[dalebert]

...but they weren't gay feelings? ...more along the lines of "Dude, let's take a shower in the locker rooms together after a game of catch and touch each other inappropriately, dude. Cause we're dudes, Bro."

That's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

[~RoadToTrista~]

LOL dalebert

Mmm I kinda feel that way towards women too (a bit more), but yeah, I know I like guys. It's just being secure with your sexuality I would think.

[Leek]

That's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Well, of course I'm a little gay. That's a given. I mean, what guy isn't? But it's not like the whole "Gee, golly, you sure are keen, I want to date you" type feelings, it's more along the lines of the whole "circle jerk" thing, I guess, if I may be crude.

Mmm I kinda feel that way towards women too (a bit more)

Yes, I've heard girls I know talk about this, too. Or their own version.

[tekla]

Good luck with that.

[Leek]

Good luck with that.

With what?

[Luc]

I think I know what you're talking about.... I was never attracted to men in the slightest before going on T. Now, after 3 years of testosterone, I wouldn't really consider a relationship with a guy (just don't really feel any personality-related chemistry to other guys), but I have strong attraction to the male body. If I weren't already in a very committed relationship, I'd be tempted to have some purely sexual relationships with other men.

[pretty]

I think "bromance" is just a running online joke. Have you considered that you might simply be bisexual?

[Silver]

Not really, but I do find I am closer to my male friends. It just comes along with being regarded as more of a friend than a potential love interest since it's sort of assumed that we aren't all gay for each other. XD No special new urges to grope other dudes on my end (not to say that I'm totally straight.)

[tekla]

Just be real careful about making that pitch to the wrong (and that's most of them) straight/cis guys.  It's considered 'fighting words' and if you don't know how to fight, it can end pretty bad.

[Adio]

...Yeah, that's just gay.  Most "bromances" aren't sexual.  They are usually just very close buds who may show physical affection but in a non-sexual way.  At least in my experience.  To echo tekla, good luck with that.

[sonopoly]

Interesting.... as someone said here, I think, as many people there are in the world there are different sexual orientations, different types of sexual and romantic attractions.  Your case seems difficult because you have sexual attraction towards men, but romantic attraction towards women, if I'm reading your posts correctly. That would be hard for anyone.  Maybe you are gay or bi or just unique, or as Luc said the hormones are changing your sexual preference, and that you aren't that open to it at the moment.  Please keep us updated.

[Sharky]

I'm pre T and starting soon, so I don't know if I'm far enough to answer,  but I have not found myself  becoming attracted to men. I don't see what romance has to do with it. If your sexually attracted to men then you are gay. Pretty sure stuff like that only happens in gay porn.

[kyle_lawrence]

Does it mean I'm gay if I wear this hoodie almost daily?

[Wolfsnake]

Yes. Yes, it does. 

I found myself being strongly sexually attracted to men after I admitted to myself that I was trans, and let myself think about being male in romantic/sexual circumstances. I wasn't attracted to anyone before that. And yeah, now there is a lot of wanting to be recognized as male with other males, and just get physical, without romantic preamble. I feel both sexual and romantic attraction to men, but the two are separate in my mind. I could definitely do the ->-bleeped-<--buddy thing if I weren't already in a committed relationship with a guy I love and respect.

[Leek]

Just be real careful about making that pitch to the wrong (and that's most of them) straight/cis guys.  It's considered 'fighting words' and if you don't know how to fight, it can end pretty bad.

Yeah, I know how some cis men can be. Ape-like.

Rest assured, I'm not intending to make any kind of "pitch," as it were. I'm already in a committed relationship (with a bi-gender person), and I was just talking more in the realm of theory and sexual feelings, than actual sexual acts. I just wonder if I'm alone in T influencing ones sexuality in this particular way--having this appreciation for the male body develop over time.

I think I know what you're talking about.... I was never attracted to men in the slightest before going on T. Now, after 3 years of testosterone, I wouldn't really consider a relationship with a guy (just don't really feel any personality-related chemistry to other guys), but I have strong attraction to the male body. If I weren't already in a very committed relationship, I'd be tempted to have some purely sexual relationships with other men.

Exactly.

If your sexually attracted to men then you are gay.

Not really. I still mostly like women and other kinds of feminine people (both sexually and romantically). Dunno what that makes me, but I wouldn't mind being gay if I, er, was gay. I just don't think I am, is all. I don't mind penises, though, of course, but whether that's gay or not depends on whose penis it is.

Pretty sure stuff like that only happens in gay porn.

Hahaha...

I think "bromance" is just a running online joke.

Sorry. Didn't know what else to call it...except maybe g0y ( http://g0ys.org/ ). LOL.

Have you considered that you might simply be bisexual?

I guess one could call it that if one wanted to. The thing that seemed odd to me was just that the feelings are different towards masculine males than they are towards the feminine people I'm primarily attracted to. I'm attracted to them neither equally nor in the same way. By contrast, it seemed to me that bisexuals I have known in the past are attracted to both men and women in the same way without discrimination (i.e. they like "the person, not their gender," as they summed it up) which is not the case with me.

My partner, for example, is male-bodied, but I don't really see her as masculine, so I'm attracted to her differently (and much more) than I would be to someone with the same kind of body who was masculine. It's weird.

Interesting.... as someone said here, I think, as many people there are in the world there are different sexual orientations, different types of sexual and romantic attractions.  Your case seems difficult because you have sexual attraction towards men, but romantic attraction towards women, if I'm reading your posts correctly. That would be hard for anyone.  Maybe you are gay or bi or just unique, or as Luc said the hormones are changing your sexual preference, and that you aren't that open to it at the moment.  Please keep us updated.

Nah, I'm open to it and it doesn't trouble me. I'm fine with all the little nuances; I just wonder how common the phenomenon is. If anything it has helped me learn that sexuality is rarely as simple as the common labels will have one believe. I just don't really have any substantial desire to act upon it because masculine people are still not my primary area of attraction, and more importantly, I already have a very lovely significant other who satisfies me quite well in every possible, imaginable way. (*Brag, brag, brag.*)

[anibioman]

i get what your talking about the whole male comradery hey lets get drunk and measure our dicks... circle jerk... jerking your friends dick... yeah i get it. well transition increases the chance of something like that happening, as it happens to be between 'bros'. testosterone probably helps, of course i couldnt tell you because im not on T yet.

[MaxAloysius]

I have a male friend I really like to be close to and spend time with, I like it when he hugs me and I love being able to talk to him about anything and everything. We've talked about the look of his chest, told each other their attractive points and we 'flirt' with each other quite a lot. But neither of us are interested in the other; he's completely straight and has been with his girlfriend for six years, and I just like him as a friend.

It's an all new kind of 'intimacy' for me, and while I'm gay, I resent the idea that's being put forward that this could only be the result of some kind of gay wants-to-be-sexual relationship. We're just bros.

[dalebert]

I guess it's an old and probably over-simplified concept, but I always think of the Kinsey scale when I think "bisexual". Based on that, someone can be a little bit bi. I think it probably is over-simplified though. What I'm finding, and this includes myself, is that there are specific traits that matter to different people, physical or personality-wise. As people stop thinking of gender as such a binary thing, this seems to be more true. As we let go of binary notions of gender and thinking of our potential attraction to someone as being based on gender, we can probably find ourselves attracted to people of either gender to some degree or another depending on specific traits.

[Lukas-H]

Some people's sexuality morphs through-out their transition but other people stay pretty much the same. I think I have read a lot of people say they felt a renewed attraction and/OR sense of comfort towards a sex/gender they wouldn't normally be attracted to after they had transitioned and become more comfortable with their own body.