The before and after thread.

[michelle666]

Here's a timeline starting from where I decided I was going to finally transition and going left to right to the bottom is tonight. I'm seeing some definite changes in my face. I havent put this together until now. I cant pinpoint where the changes happened but it seems they did!

[Miranda Catherine]

It's wonderful to see all you beautiful girls/women now, compared to who you once were and where you came from. I can tell you this, I had never been happy in my lifelong role as a male impersonator, and I existed in abject depression, self hatred, and anger until my transition, but I can honestly say I've rarely had a bad day in my 17 months and 10 days since going full time as the woman I've always known I am. For those of you who have only been on HRT for a few months and you're less than thrilled with your changes so far, have patience and faith in yourselves and these wonder drugs. The estrogen and anti-androgens will do incredible things for you if given the chance, but you need the right drugs for you, their proper dosages, eating right and so much more. Remember, we'll be on HRT for the rest of our lives, yet so much of our changing is from the inside out, watching other women, learning to think and behave as women, and doing whatever it takes to look, feel and be more feminine. I lost 64 lbs., going from 226 on July 13th, 2011, to 162 this morning, but I still have another 12 lbs. to lose. I've also tried to learn how to wear makeup for me that accentuates my feminine features and hides my masculine ones, and I attempt to select my clothes the same way. As I said earlier, I've only been full time for seventeen months and a little more than a week, but I only 'made the decision' to transition once I came to after my third suicide attempt. I'd run completely out of options, and knew I had to try to live female, or my next attempt to end my pain was only days or weeks away, and this time it would have been successful. No more intentional overdoses, or stabbing myself 5" deep into the abdomen trying to commit ritual suicide again. For my fourth attempt I would have used my brother's 9mm pistol and it would have been 'successful'. Now I will never have the need again for suicide instruments or drugs and alcohol to dull my senses enough to survive another day. I'm also involved with a really great guy I'm in love with and I believe he loves me too, my first relationship in more than 21 years!!! I'm not bragging, because each of you can be very happy, and if you're on these pages you've taken an important step toward finding peace and happiness too. I've seen my future and it gets brighter by the day. I hope and pray yours do too!

P.S. Will somebody please, please tell me how to post some of my before and after photos on this thread? I must be mentally challenged, but I can't find the way to put attachments here!  Till then, you can see some before and after pics on photobucket, although they're not quite in chronological order:
                                http://s1356.beta.photobucket.com/user/TOmirandaTS/library/?&_suid=136099796155502127880621701479                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

[Bexi]

P.S. Will somebody please, please tell me how to post some of my before and after photos on this thread?   

On the image link on the page of each of your pictures, there is a link with [img] code at the start and end (5th one down if I remember correctly), copying and pasting that should do the trick. 

And you're looking good! I'm glad that you've finally found happiness in your true self!

x

[Shantel]

Wow Miranda, I am impressed!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

[Miranda Catherine]

"And you're looking good! I'm glad that you've finally found happiness in your true self!" Bexi
"Wow Miranda, I am impressed!" Shantel

Thank you Bexi and Shantel, that is sooo nice to hear! I try not to look back too much, but unfortunately, I wasted 33 years between my first beginnings at transition in 1977-78, and finally transitioning in September 2011, at 57 years old. I don't want any of the younger girls here to make the same terrible mistakes I did. Gender dysphoria never goes away, it only gets worse! I was barely 23 when I first began electrolysis and going out in public to gauge my chances at being successful in transition. I was very successful, but I was also afraid to hurt my family, so I became a heroin addict instead, lol! I really saved the family name and my parents grief by becoming a junkie instead of transitioning! Why do you think they call it dope?!?! Once again, Bexi and Shantel, thank you very, very much! Hugs, Miranda

[Shantel]

"And you're looking good! I'm glad that you've finally found happiness in your true self!" Bexi
"Wow Miranda, I am impressed!" Shantel

Thank you Bexi and Shantel, that is sooo nice to hear! I try not to look back too much, but unfortunately, I wasted 33 years between my first beginnings at transition in 1977-78, and finally transitioning in September 2011, at 57 years old. I don't want any of the younger girls here to make the same terrible mistakes I did. Gender dysphoria never goes away, it only gets worse! I was barely 23 when I first began electrolysis and going out in public to gauge my chances at being successful in transition. I was very successful, but I was also afraid to hurt my family, so I became a heroin addict instead, lol! I really saved the family name and my parents grief by becoming a junkie instead of transitioning! Why do you think they call it dope?!?! Once again, Bexi and Shantel, thank you very, very much! Hugs, Miranda

This is what we all need to hear about putting it off, unfortunately I did the same as you for similar reasons although never finished transition and will turn 70 in August.   
But there you are now, clean, sober and beautiful. Congratulations!

[Staci]

I put mine off three times.  I finally had to kick the door off my closet so hard I wouldn't be able to go back in it.  And I am so much happier now. 

[Elsa]

wow ... you are all sooo beautiful! and it's always strange to see old pics of yourself before transition

Thought it was about time I posted a pic of myself. I still feel ugly but what the hell ... you only get one life. I am still in boy mode these days.

most recent pic been back on HRT for almost 7~9 months - 2nd time out dressed as a girl:
http://s1268.beta.photobucket.com/user/Vibes6/media/Hide/My%20transition/DSC_0126_zps11a09ad9.jpg.html?sort=3&o=2

before I tried to detransition was on HRT for about 6 months:
http://s1268.beta.photobucket.com/user/Vibes6/media/Hide/My%20transition/DSCF0464_zpsec07a0a0.jpg.html?sort=3&o=1

pre-HRT:
http://s1268.beta.photobucket.com/user/Vibes6/media/Hide/My%20transition/DSCF0347_zps6b15762b.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0

[Miranda Catherine]

@ 24 during a Halloween party. I wanted to be out in front of some of my macho friends and their wives, but not too out. I didn't wear much makeup or even a bra. That's my hair, the color and curls, everything. This was me, August 16th, 1995, my 41st birthday. I was in prison, about a month before I began living female inside for nine months. It was the first time in my life I was happy. I found freedom in prison, and was actually treated like a woman, no condescension or anything else. I was a very good athlete and continued playing basketball and tennis. P.S. There were no rapes etc., and I was anything but forced to live female. May 2010, 226 lbs. One year before my 3rd suicide attempt, then transitionOct. 2011. Only a month or so into living full time, two and a half months into HRT, 210 lbs. and losing.Dec. 2011, 200 lbs. I'm much, much happier than I look. My mom and I, 84 and 57. I love my mom sooo much, after a lifetime of harsh treatment and believing to this day she hated me for being born male. I can't believe how close we are now.  She's proud of me, ecstatic she finally has her daughter, and actually says that she wishes now that I would have been even more forceful in telling her and my dad how desperately I wanted to live female as a late teen, they would have let me transition in 1972-73. It's a nice thought, but I doubt it.
May 2012, 185 lbs. Aug 16th 2012, my 58th birthday. I was at 175 lbs., and happier by the day![Sept. 2012, 1 yr. full time, 13 1/2 months HRT, stuck at 170 lbs. Dec. 2012. Messing with my hair. My brother saw the pic and said, "typical woman, always playing with something 165 lbs. 61 lbs. lighter than the day after my last suicide attempt!

[Shantel]

wow ... you are all sooo beautiful! and it's always strange to see old pics of yourself before transition

Thought it was about time I posted a pic of myself. I still feel ugly but what the hell ... you only get one life. I am still in boy mode these days.

most recent pic been back on HRT for almost 7~9 months - 2nd time out dressed as a girl:

You're definitely not ugly Alexia, the photo in the garden is of course the best and shows off your pretty feminine features and how you have already changed rather nicely.  I like your looks and it's only going to get better in time. I'm so glad that you survived!

[Jillieann Rose]

 Miranda,
Put your image locations between the image brackets.
To insert the image brackets click the little square button just above the first smiley face.
The location info should look something like this http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/24453_618021992_n.jpg
Hope this helps.

[Jillieann Rose]

Alexia,
I think you look cute. Keep going girl.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Jillieann Rose]

Michelle,
You are looking great.
I can sure see the change.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Miranda Catherine]

Miranda,
Put your image locations between the image brackets.
To insert the image brackets click the little square button just above the first smiley face.
The location info should look something like this http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/24453_618021992_n.jpg
Hope this helps.

Thank you, Jilleann and Bexi. I went down to the other computer, went to the img code, clicked it and it copied right away. Then I pasted them. Shantel, I'm so very, very sorry about your late transition, but you didn't have the opportunities that even girls my age had. And the differences for teens to 30 somethings is simply amazing to me. Still, better late than never, girl. I'm proud of you for the decision you've made and the lifestyle you've chosen. Hugs, Mira

[Jillieann Rose]

Miranda, I am so glad that you were able to get your photos up.
You look so happy in some of your recent photos.
Thank you for sharing your story here on Susan's.
I am sure it will encourage others.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Miranda Catherine]

Miranda, I am so glad that you were able to get your photos up.
You look so happy in some of your recent photos.
Thank you for sharing your story here on Susan's.
I am sure it will encourage others.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Thank you, Jillean for the wonderful compliments! Most girls/women love to hear compliments and I'm far from an exception. That said, the main reason I put these photos up is to use some of the photos of my life as a cautionary tale, but unfortunately, very true story about wasted decades, and that nobody has to take the self destructive road I took for sooo long. Other than my nine month stint living happily as a female in prison, it took me 57 years to find peace, joy and true happiness. Anyone reading this who hasn't made up your mind to follow your heart and dreams, please don't wait another day, your gender dysphoria will only get worse until it crushes the life right out of you.

[Heather]

Miranda you look amazing! That is quite a change I hope I can look that good at 58! Just incredible! Proof it's never to late to be yourself!

[PHXGiRL]

All righty, so I know that I'm only one month into this (officially started HRT on January 11th,) so the differences really aren't that great yet (and I still don't really look that great in my "girl mode,") but I've just been itching to join this thread ever since I've joined this site, since it has helped me so much.

So here goes!

*takes big breath*

5 years ago: (not going to post the actual image up on this reply, since it is freaking UGLY!!! (Don't look directly into it! ACK!) But I am going to provide a link to it for those who want to see my real "pre" picture.) This is the version of me that I HATED for so long, and the version that kept me up at night so much because I hated the way I looked so much.
http://oi50.tinypic.com/2dqqzo0.jpg


And now on to the pictures that I'm not completely embarrassed about.

Official pre-hormone picture, taken almost exactly 1 month ago:


"Boy Mode" picture taken earlier tonight, (this is just for the purposes of being able to compare facial differences directly, since my wig COMPLETELY changes which parts of my face are accentuated.) Anyway, 1 month of hormones later, and:


And finally, girl mode! This was also taken tonight, (in the exact same clothes and the exact same location.) And yes, I know I have a LOT of work to do here, and I'd probably look a lot better if I would get my bushy eyebrows plucked and put on some makeup or actual feminine clothes, but whatever, I'm just trying to be honest here.

I have a hunch HRT is gonna treat you wonderfully.

[Miranda Catherine]

Miranda you look amazing! That is quite a change I hope I can look that good at 58! Just incredible! Proof it's never to late to be yourself!

Hi Heather and thank you sooo much! You're very sweet. I was fortunate enough to grow up with too much estrogen and too little testosterone, hence, no Adam's Apple, or other typical male facial characteristics, but I have ancient needle track scars on both arms, and 13 knee surgeries from working as a drywaller and carpenter, a job I had no business doing with my thin body type, but I was always trying to be a man. The injuries were how I found out about opiates, culminating in being a junkie for 13 years, two prison terms and 3 yrs, 10 mo. and 6 days of being deemed unworthy of living in society. In 2001 I jumped off a 70' bridge on the Columbia River to prove my virility to myself and one of my best friend's two kids, but I ended up landing just a little wrong on the water, which is like concrete at that height if you hit wrong, crushing two vertebrae and breaking seven ribs. Worse than just being stuck on stupid, I was stuck on crazy too!

[Elsa]

Thanks Jillieann!

It's really nice to get some encouragement - I really hope HRT and laser does some more miracles on me.

Miranda you look amazing! You look like a completely different person in the other pics than the second one.