How do you deal with anger/jealousy

[nickm1492]

I'm good at controlling my rage. I wasn't when I was younger. But now I get extremely pissed off sometimes. Also, I'm jealous/overprotective. My fiancee is an incredibly attractive woman. No, I'm not complaining about this but at the same time, because she is attractive, I'm not the only one who notices. I hate that I live an hour and a half away from her and have no car. When we do see each other we do see stay with each other for days but it's hard. Especially since we are both basically in our 20's and our families don't believe in letting us sleep together in the same room. Also for some reason my mom forces my sister on us because she says she wants my sister to have a good relationship with her. I get that, but she in in her tweens and we aren't. We do play with her but she just wants her to like be with us all the time...Anyway, that was a rant. Sorry
Back to the topic. I get jealous/pissed of other guys looking at her. They frekin honk their car horns at her when she is walking and yell stuff out. (No she doesn't dress inappropriately. She is usually wears her scrubs for school) Today, what set me off is that when she was on the bus a guy was saying "I want to holla at you" and other crap like that and he was winking at her. I hate that guys do this ->-bleeped-<-. I want to be there to tell them to back the hell up. I want to be there to hold her hand and take care of her. I can't do any of that until we graduate

[JenJen2011]

I'm good at controlling my rage. I wasn't when I was younger. But now I get extremely pissed off sometimes. Also, I'm jealous/overprotective. My fiancee is an incredibly attractive woman. No, I'm not complaining about this but at the same time, because she is attractive, I'm not the only one who notices. I hate that I live an hour and a half away from her and have no car. When we do see each other we do see stay with each other for days but it's hard. Especially since we are both basically in our 20's and our families don't believe in letting us sleep together in the same room. Also for some reason my mom forces my sister on us because she says she wants my sister to have a good relationship with her. I get that, but she in in her tweens and we aren't. We do play with her but she just wants her to like be with us all the time...Anyway, that was a rant. Sorry
Back to the topic. I get jealous/pissed of other guys looking at her. They frekin honk their car horns at her when she is walking and yell stuff out. (No she doesn't dress inappropriately. She is usually wears her scrubs for school) Today, what set me off is that when she was on the bus a guy was saying "I want to holla at you" and other crap like that and he was winking at her. I hate that guys do this ->-bleeped-<-. I want to be there to tell them to back the hell up. I want to be there to hold her hand and take care of her. I can't do any of that until we graduate

Long distant relationships are hard. I've been in one before and it sucked.

You shouldn't let guys hitting on your girl upset you. They are hitting on her because she's beautiful so you should be proud to have a beautiful fiance. What's important is that she doesn't pay attention to them or flirt back. As long as she's not, then everything is okay. One time me and my bf were at a restaurant and a guy came over to tell him that he's lucky to have a beautiful girlfriend like me. My bf got so upset that we had to leave or else they were gonna fight. I think that was wrong of him for acting that way. Instead he should've just said thanks and be flattered. After all, I am with him for a reason.

Hope this helps.

[nickm1492]

Long distant relationships are hard. I've been in one before and it sucked.

You shouldn't let guys hitting on your girl upset you. They are hitting on her because she's beautiful so you should be proud to have a beautiful fiance. What's important is that she doesn't pay attention to them or flirt back. As long as she's not, then everything is okay. One time me and my bf were at a restaurant and a guy came over to tell him that he's lucky to have a beautiful girlfriend like me. My bf got so upset that we had to leave or else they were gonna fight. I think that was wrong of him for acting that way. Instead he should've just said thanks and be flattered. After all, I am with him for a reason.

Hope this helps.

I know I know XD Unfortunately I take after my dad...I told her I hulk out o_o seriously why is she with me? LOL I'm a nerd. But I calmed down. My dad was an idiot (Apparently just like me -_- A gay man would talk to my mom and he'd get jealous...)

[emostache69]

i have the same problem bro. my girl doesn't live as far away as yours is from you but it still makes me jealous to find out that guys are hitting on her. make sure your gf knows about your jealousy so she knows your sensitive about it and knows not to talk to much about when she sees a guy look her up. when i'm w/my gf and i catch guys flirting i usually give off a hint such as taking her hand, kissing her, hugging her, or anything really that'll give the guy a clue that she's taken. i also bought by gf a necklace w/our initals on it and it has helped a bit, cause when guys see it they know someone already has her love. with the jealousy thing just remember that she's an amazing girl w/alot of choices but she has chosen out of all of them to love you, and besides, even gf's can get jealous of us sometimes 

[nickm1492]

i have the same problem bro. my girl doesn't live as far away as yours is from you but it still makes me jealous to find out that guys are hitting on her. make sure your gf knows about your jealousy so she knows your sensitive about it and knows not to talk to much about when she sees a guy look her up. when i'm w/my gf and i catch guys flirting i usually give off a hint such as taking her hand, kissing her, hugging her, or anything really that'll give the guy a clue that she's taken. i also bought by gf a necklace w/our initals on it and it has helped a bit, cause when guys see it they know someone already has her love. with the jealousy thing just remember that she's an amazing girl w/alot of choices but she has chosen out of all of them to love you, and besides, even gf's can get jealous of us sometimes 

Lol Yeah, her choice is questionable! XD JK! But she does get jealous too. I want to protect her! AND KICK EVERY OTHER GUYS ASS!!! lol okay...I feel better now

[Arch]

I really don't think it would help much if you lived closer. If you're this jealous, I suggest that you do some "inner work" and figure out why you are bugged so much. If you have a therapist, counselor, minister, or trusted friend/family member, you might talk it out with that person. Or try chat here at Susan's.

I agree that it's pretty raunchy when guys say things about girls (weirdness: it used to happen to me when I was younger), but women cope with it in their own way (I did, when I was living as a woman). If she wants you to be the knight in shining armor every time someone says something crude or suggestive, then she might learn some techniques for dealing with stuff herself. I guess I'm using myself as barometer here, but I only wanted help from a partner when I felt physically threatened. I suppose some of that might come from my not being a real woman, though.

When he was all spooled up and needed to blow off steam, my ex would go to the batting cages at the local miniature golf links. I wish I could do this, but I have a bum wrist. Still, you might try it (or other exercise, if you can) to blow off the steam. Then start thinking about why you get so jealous.

Just my two cents' worth.

[ForWantOf]

I'm a lot like you, Nick, and maybe even a little worse. I've struggled with irrational, soul crushing jealousy and still struggle with it currently, but it's not as bad as it has been before.

Like Arch mentioned, you should probably take a good time out and think about what exactly is causing you to be jealous. I found for me that it roots in my own personal insecurities and low self esteem. I think you jokingly mentioned something along the lines of why would your girl pick you, which is something that personally fuels my jealousy. I can't really figure out why my girlfriend is with me and so content with me, so I figure that's where trust comes in.
I've learned to trust that she's with me for a reason and doesn't care about other guys, I may see myself as less attractive or less whatever than whoever else, but she doesn't see that, she just sees the person she loves and the person she chose to be with.

Also I think someone mentioned telling your girlfriend about it, or asking if she knows about it. You should definitely mention it to her if you haven't already, and tell her how much it upsets you and ask her to work with you on it. Like I mentioned above, my jealousy has toned down a little and it's mostly because my girlfriend has shown me that she's not interested in anyone else, and it wasn't anything major she's done, it's her overall dedication. You should focus on little things your girlfriend does for you, and not the little things other people might say to her.

[Forever21Chic]

  It's sweet that you care about her so much and the jealousy thing is even cuter but don't go over board with it or she might get a lil freaked out. It's completely natural for you to feel jealous thou, it's a guy thing. 

[nickm1492]

I'm a lot like you, Nick, and maybe even a little worse. I've struggled with irrational, soul crushing jealousy and still struggle with it currently, but it's not as bad as it has been before.

Like Arch mentioned, you should probably take a good time out and think about what exactly is causing you to be jealous. I found for me that it roots in my own personal insecurities and low self esteem. I think you jokingly mentioned something along the lines of why would your girl pick you, which is something that personally fuels my jealousy. I can't really figure out why my girlfriend is with me and so content with me, so I figure that's where trust comes in.
I've learned to trust that she's with me for a reason and doesn't care about other guys, I may see myself as less attractive or less whatever than whoever else, but she doesn't see that, she just sees the person she loves and the person she chose to be with.

Also I think someone mentioned telling your girlfriend about it, or asking if she knows about it. You should definitely mention it to her if you haven't already, and tell her how much it upsets you and ask her to work with you on it. Like I mentioned above, my jealousy has toned down a little and it's mostly because my girlfriend has shown me that she's not interested in anyone else, and it wasn't anything major she's done, it's her overall dedication. You should focus on little things your girlfriend does for you, and not the little things other people might say to her.

Thanks I appreciate the input! And yeah...My jealousy is very much an issue. LOL Everyone with a penis is an enemy! Ay...But I know deep down she enjoys how jealous I get lol She has hinted to that. And honestly I rather she tells me when things like this happen. I want honesty.

  It's sweet that you care about her so much and the jealousy thing is even cuter but don't go over board with it or she might get a lil freaked out. It's completely natural for you to feel jealous thou, it's a guy thing. 

lol yeah she things it's cute and loves it that i am so overprotective. Though no she will never get freaked out by it! She knows me too well. She knew this is how I was and honestly I think that's part of the reason why she loves me. Though I do know not to go overboard...and by that I mean I won't attack another man if he hits on her! lol

[Kreuzfidel]

Talk about long-distance, my wife and I had to go through three years with her living in Australia and me in America.  I was crazy jealous just imagining guys having access to her and me being stuck on the other side of the world.  When I moved to Australia to be with her, that kind of jealousy stopped, but I started obsessing with/comparing myself to her ex-bf until I realised how stupid it was.  I no longer feel jealous at all and I just attribute it to being secure in our relationship and secure in myself as a man and husband.  There's no doubt that my jealousy arose from my gender dysphoria as well as the distance, though.