Quote from: Gadgett on October 07, 2011, 05:17:03 PM
Ello all,
My name is Gadgett, *Gadg for short* and I am a MTF. I was fortunate enough to find and marry someone who was my wife but is now to become my husband as he is FTM.
Welcome to the club! I am also in a trans / trans relationship and am familiar with the unique challenges (and advantages) that come from two sets of disphoria-prone people. (Though your specific situation sounds amazingly rare--getting married, discovering transhood, and transitioning together. Damn.)
Quote
One of the problems we've faced is the amount of information and support of me but the lack of for him. When I recommended this site to him he said, "No one cares enough to help.". So I thought I would post one of his questions and see if he can get the information he's looking for.
People do care. We have friendly regulars here, it seems to me so far, and I'd suggest he make himself an account. There are lots of guys here that have been through similar situations and would be glad to help.
Quote
With that being said, He is wondering...
One day soon we will transition into our true bodies. But he wants to be able to keep things "fun" in the bedroom. However the research he's found is that he'll have 2 choices as far as his equipment is concerned. 1. being of normal size but with no sensation and inability to get an erection. 2. having sensation and erection, but not having hardly any length. I have told him he needs to get what he would normally and not take me into consideration and I would love him no mater what. But I think I get farther bathing in blood and streaking in the middle of a pack of wolves.
Well, now we're getting medical and technical, and, as far as I know, that assessment of genital surgery is not exactly accurate.
What he seems to be describing are the two major (but not the only) options for FTM bottom surgery:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalloplasty and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metoidioplasty. From what I've seen and heard from other transmen, phalloplasty does not by any means leave one with no sensation, and the size of the penis after metoidioplasty differs hugely from person to person. It's just not that simple and warrants more research. Yes, surgery is a more complex subject for an FTM than an MTF, but it's certainly not hopeless by any means.
What kind of bottom surgery (if any) one undergoes is a very personal subject and is something your husband needs to ask
himself, AFTER doing a lot of research. Tell him to have hope--there are many more options for him than he thinks.
Now, as for the whole "fun in the bedroom" thing. In my personal experience, neither of you need to have had surgery yet to have "fun" the way you want. There are MANY ways fulfill your marital duties, so to speak, and not have to do it in a way that makes either of you uncomfortable. Yes, it can be kind of hard sometimes in an MTF / FTM relationship because all your disphoria surrounding sex can be doubled, but with a bit of creativity you can figure a lot of things out.
Good luck to you both.
