I got ma'm

[Dominick_81]

I got a ma'm over the phone when I called about a job. I'm just about 8 months on T and I still sound like a female? I thought I was sounding like a young male. I forget to talk in my deep voice which is really a disguise voice to make my voice sound deeper.  I'm so frustrated being mistaken as female either over my voice or looking female. And I hate that I have to disguise my voice in order for it to sound deeper.

Is anyone else as frustrated as I am with either not passing as male on T or your voice not passing?

[Wolfsnake]

Just wanted to say that a lot of young men get ma'am over the phone. It's not uncommon at all, even for cis-guys.

[GentlemanRDP]

This is true, I know a lot of guys who haven't hit puberty yet who get called 'miss,'
I wouldn't worry too much about it, though I do know how you feel.
As for using a 'disguise voice,' I've never thought about it that way when I speak deeper,
I've always thought about it as just speaking from a different part of my throat.
That might not help, but it makes me feel less fake.

[Nygeel]

I was called hun today. I don't know if I get miss or ma'am on the phone since I don't use it much. I think the last call I got somebody thought I was female.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I get ma'am'd on the phone 90% of the time.  I pass in public 100% of the time.  I'm 11 months on T.  It's just something you have to deal with for now.  When they see you in person they will have no doubt that you are male but talking over the phone gives you less identifiers to work with. 

[anibioman]

I was called hun today.

a girl i know calls me hun all the time but she calls everyone hun and shes hot so i dont care. i get missed all the time on the phone but i try not to use the phone. i pass 99% in person.

[JohnAlex]

Just wanted to say that a lot of young men get ma'am over the phone. It's not uncommon at all, even for cis-guys.

This.

[Padma]

Yes, I've been called hun when I looked more obviously male. But not by men. Well, not by straight men .

[Korlee]

Just wanted to say that a lot of young men get ma'am over the phone. It's not uncommon at all, even for cis-guys.

This is the truth really all around.  You have to remember the phone changes your voice a little and often peeps default back to female pronouns over the phone.  You just shrug it off for what it is and correct them as it is nothing.  People make pronoun mistakes all the time with people born to the gender.  Nobody will doubt you after that as long as you act as if it was nothing.  It is the taking a huge offense or reacting any other way other then it being something unimportant to you that would maybe make them wonder.

Just shrug it off, correct them as it is for a job politely if it happens again in person or the phone, and go about your day.  After all you know they are not giving it a second though at all when corrected or not.

[Nygeel]

a girl i know calls me hun all the time but she calls everyone hun and shes hot so i dont care. i get missed all the time on the phone but i try not to use the phone. i pass 99% in person.

It was a random guy at a pizza place. I think being called hun by somebody you know well is way different than a stranger saying in.

[emil]

i got ma'am at a local bakery from a 13-year-old boy working there helping out his mom....it's the first time in a year that this happened so i felt quite devastated and of course i'm trying to pin-point what it was that made him think so....and i agree with what someone else said, the best way to deal with it is probably to just shrug it off and correct them, but i was just too shocked..

[Devlyn]

Male to females usually have to work on speech patterns to pass, it must work the same for the guys. I'm not saying you should grunt your way through a conversation, more about economy of words. A guy might say "Morning." where a woman might say "Hi hon, how are you doing this morning?" Hugs, Tracey

[Bahzi]

I got  "m'am" a few days ago on the phone too.  I had a cold and was more nasal and had less voice control too though, so I just thought it was funny.  Like you, Dominick, if I focus on how I'm speaking my voice is more masculine.  I wouldn't say I'm forcing it lower, just concentrating on where I'm speaking from (chest mostly) so that I have less tendency to squeak or crack on upward inflections, if any.

My ex still gets "m'am" on the phone occasionally, and he's a 29 year old completely heterosexual cis-male.  Some guys just have higher voices, but it's way too early in the game to assume that your voice will always be one of them.  I've seen videos of transguys on Youtube who's voices took 2 years or more to fully drop, everyone's different man!

[bojangles]

Thought I heard a ma'am at gas station yesterday. But since he later called me buddy, am pretty sure he had first said Man, not ma'am.

[Dominick_81]

Thanks guys. It just happened again today on the phone by another guy. I didn't correct b/c it was just the end of the convo. It just upsetting when that happens. I thought on the phone voices pass more and if u have a cold your voice should pass more too...?

[wheat thins are delicious]

Thanks guys. It just happened again today on the phone by another guy. I didn't correct b/c it was just the end of the convo. It just upsetting when that happens. I thought on the phone voices pass more and if u have a cold your voice should pass more too...?

It's harder to tell, especially if your voice isn't changed too much, because you have no physical clues as to what the other person's gender is. 

[malinkibear]

Wouldn't worry about it. My brother is nineteen and a rough skinhead type, and people confuse him on the phone. It just happens.