Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on October 13, 2011, 12:41:36 PMi am like so glad you understand 
It helps that my personalities almost never agree on anything. It makes it much easier for me to understand what you are going through.
Quotei am still glad there is someone like me on here
I'm glad you enjoy it. It's not something I've talked about much except through private messages. However, I felt it prudent to make it public since there was another multiple doing the same. I always say that you have to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.
Quoteand oh ! do you also never remember that the other does but ! can talk to them?
We are different than most multiples, in that our personalities were (for the most part) intentional. Our second personality was created via a form of hypnosis. He was created with certain characteristics, and he also took many traits from the original personality when he individualized.
Our third personality was created unintentionally during a bit of mischief from the first. The older personalities enjoy playing tricks on each other. Sometimes, they will take each other's power and use it to control the other's mind, emotions, and body. One day, when both of them wanted to be dominant, they decided to take a third alias that they had used for a long time, and actually give that alias an individuality apart from their own. This new personality really didn't like being a toy to be used by the others, so he quickly wrestled their power away from them and tried to balance everyone's power against each other. This didn't work very well, as the original personalities quickly found loopholes to get around these "checks and balances" so that they could continue their mischief. They have since left "the Recluse" out of their little games, as he is very powerful and they fear his wrath.
We are generally aware of everything unless the dominant removes the submissive's awareness or knowledge. This is rare, as ignorance is not something we are generally interested in. We are usually aware of which personality has control of the mind and emotions, and it is often obvious (but not always) who has control of the body. Very often we integrate into a single personality, or a plural personality which presents as a single individual. When this happens, we have found it easiest to refer to ourselves using the name of whoever's personality characteristics are most present at the time. We can also switch control of the body rapidly, although we have done so very few times. We have discovered that Id has had much trouble controlling the body as it has become more feminine. It would be very dangerous to try to instantly give him control of the body, as he can barely function normally without feeling very clumsy and awkward.
VeryGnawty was thinking about using her control over Id's mind to get him to perceive himself as a woman. We fear that unless Id can learn to control the body, he will develop body dysphoria. Since VeryGnawty doesn't perceive herself as a man, she cannot teach Id how to control a more feminine body as a man. Our third personality might know, but he doesn't seem concerned with anything other than minding his own business. We don't want to disturb him. Ever.
What do you think? Id's gender seems mutable enough, we think it may be the best course of action to get him to perceive himself as female over a period of time. This would be preferable to the current course, which would leave him as becoming the inverse of what VeryGnawty used to be. We believe that if no action is taken, Id will develop dysphoria over having an increasingly female body. We think the dysphoria would be present even if he weren't the one controlling the body.
This situation is unacceptable. Id is struck with terror at the idea of developing dysphoria which is as bad as what VeryGnawty's used to be. Id knows that his gender is more mutable than VeryGnawty's. Making the body more masculine is out of the equation.
Quotebut ! i ain't a freak or monster just a person who has a friend inside myself 
but i still never tell anyone in person about my multi persons but i can easily talk about fixing my gender
I generally tell people about neither.
Quotei find it hard some days just feeling uncomfortable when i am always upsetting him because we are total opposites which is hard for me 
Yeah. I'm trying to convince my guy to become a woman. He's coming around to the idea as he's feeling increasingly awkward in this body. He originally had a lot of resistance to the idea, as he was designed to be male. However, he needs a practical solution to be able to control the body if he ever wants to actually do anything.
I know he can become female, because our minds are very connected and we can often read each other's thoughts. He's just not comfortable with becoming female. The poor guy, I really feel sorry for him. We really had no way of predicting he would have this much trouble controlling the body when we were designing his personality. Even though VeryGnawty always felt awkward in a male body, we assumed that we could avoid the problem with Id in a female body by designing it into Id's personality that he would be skilled at controlling the body. Sadly, this idea seems to be failing miserably, and Id is having trouble controlling the body without perceiving himself as female.
We believe that the recluse may have taken Id's ability to control a feminine body as a man, as the recluse took some traits away from Id and VeryGnawty when the recluse individualized. If this theory is accurate, we find it unlikely that the recluse would give this knowledge back to us. Although we can trade personality traits, the person giving it away will lose it in himself. Since the recluse doesn't want to develop dysphoria nor spend the time to physically teach Id his knowledge, we don't feel there is anything we can offer the recluse in exchange for his knowledge. Id is very sad at the knowledge that his little power games with VeryGnawty may have cost him his ability to continue to be a man. But, that's life, you know? Sometimes you do stuff without understanding the consequences of your actions.
VeryGnawty believes that Id will come to perceive himself as female as the body becomes more feminine. VeryGnawty believes that Id's desire to perceive himself as male is much less than his desire to avoid the dysphoria which he seems unable to escape. Id is very sad that he can't continue to perceive himself as a man. He is crying right now, but not through the body. He is crying "on the inside" which is a very awkward feeling. It sort of feels like he's tickling my brain. But, he is very sad. When one of us has a very powerful emotion, the rest of us often feel it. Even the recluse can feel Id's sorrow now. However, the recluse doesn't let it distract him from his....research. The recluse spends most of his time in meditation. The recluse isn't very interested in us, really. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone, unless he finds some need to take control of the body.
I don't really know what to say about consolidating conflicting personalities. For us, it is very much a trial and error process. I could give you advice. But really, it's not much different than consolidating differences between any regular individuals who disagree. It is all about finding an acceptable compromise. For example, VeryGnawty would develop extreme dsyphoria if she became more masculine again. This is why Id is coming to accept perceiving himself as female. It is unacceptable for any of us to have dysphoria, since we experience each other's emotions. Even if the offending personality limited himself to a small speck in our minds, we would still perceive his dysphoria, and it would still be very disconcerting to all of us.
