Hi Ladies - and dudes,
firstly, PLEASE I really do not wish this to be or become a flaming item, but simply want to share some thoughts and perceptions that may be mostly mine only... well, may be not all of them, we shall see.
It had started off before my going to have GCS (Genital Corrective Surgery - my now preferred term if I be excused? :-).
It buzzed around the issue how much "leadership claim" we post-ops aught show, claim or even demand? When dealing with our new folks here, and of course the old, and apparently never to be really settled issue of pre- and non-op folks' position, reasons and feelings.
I really do not want to open up this again here, but at the time of the dispute still raging - I mentioned I'd report back my feeling on the issue, once I return from GCS (SRS/GRS).
So here goes...
Firstly, I do NOT now, after GCS, feel any of this leadership notions, at least none to date, and have come even more to the understanding how MUCH it is such a personal decision for each person in each case about what is right for them. THIS!!! does NOT detract from who they ARE!
To come out with claims not being a 'real woman' if this, that, or the other has or has not happened is just plain immature, and I currently feel even more so after my SRS.
I needed to do what I did – yet how can it ever be assumed any other person aught to feel the same? I beg you!
I also do bring this up having met a number of trans-woman at the hospital and we of course would speak to each other - about our transition - not just the breakfast options at the cafeteria :-)
So there I was told for example (self now age 65) that I am a *baby* --- because my SRS was just 3 weeks past... oh hello?!?
Having a 3 week old neo-vagina now made me something new and stupid... woopsy.
Is being born with female brain-gender a non-item until years and years after SRS? All your previous life's experience worth for naught? Oh?
This in my opinion seems one pretty silly notion and it was promoted by no less then an MtF psychologist having had SRS some 20 - 25 years back.
Next I learned that Susan's Place is just a collection of TV's --- woopsy.
All not worthy even to read what we have to share... ouch!
I had mentioned how much this site had been a support for my own transition but THAT post-op "leadership" had some ideas different for sure.
Next I learned that a load of folks hold the opinion that if we had procreated (sperm donor) a child/children you could never be a real woman... OK, let me spare you the rest, I should think you got the idea.
Now this stuff is floated by 'old term SRS' folks and it made me pretty unsettled.
Maybe the whole issue gets back simply to: "what you can not feel - you can not REALLY understand" (please include me :-)
So, even having gone through the "grist mill" of gender therapy and all our fears and anxieties does not in each case guarantee a sense of balance, insight and acceptance. Not even if the candidate has SRS > 20 years back and studied psychology. So be ware and better 'pull the plug' on this kind of therapist – they at least frighten ME.
In my perception those folks are best left to their own devices - it gets to painful to hear them spreading their knowing. The opinion as it goes is: "if you can't take the heat – get out of the kitchen" i.e. jump in the lake and don't bother to surface gain, eh.
OK, girls and guy that's what I wanted to report back and that is where I stand at present and the good Lord may help me so I will not start to get these sort of elitist 'chips on my shoulders' as time goes by.
Again, I be happy if your YMMnotV too much, from where I stand at present.
Consider this as a feedback please, and not a basis for any more elitist positioning if it's at all possible.
If you have differing opinions you are welcome, but PLEASE speak it in kindness it's all I'd like to ask.
Thank you for caring to hear me,
Axelle
