Dear Ladies, Gentleman, Genderqueers, Androgynes, Gender->-bleeped-<-s and everything under the sun of the vast transgendery rainbow,
I am joining this forum in hopes of gaining back a trans community that I feel I have lost touch with. I used a transgender forum when I was a teenager and just starting my journey as a MTF transsexual. Now, I am in a very different place in many ways.
I am 21 years old, and 3 years post-op. I am incredibly blessed to have a family that has supported me through transition both emotionally and financially. I have lost many friends through transition, but the friends that stuck with me continue to be the best friends a girl could ask for. I am in college, with a Psych major and Gender Studies minor, so I am aware of the broad spectrum of gender identity. I myself, am pretty much on the furthest end of the "female" side of the spectrum as you could get, and identify wholly as a woman. I am a woman physically, emotionally, spiritually and socially, and transition has allowed me to realize what it's like to live life to the fullest.
However, my transition has not been without hardship. My childhood was decorated with endless harrassment and bullying, being a very feminine girl trapped in a boy's body. I struggled to find myself, being brought up Roman Catholic, with immense guilt being attracted to both men and women, as well as feeling that I was a woman and desiring to grow into one. Dr. Meltzer, who performed my sexual reassignment surgery when I was 18, found a malignant tumor in my right testicle. Thankfully, it was removed early and 3 years later with CT scans every few months, I have yet to see a recurrence of cancer in my body. I think a lot of you know what it means to have this surgery save your life. For me, it saved my life in more ways than one.
I am also a survivor of sexual assault. My first sexual experience was coerced, and I was sexually assaulted routinely by the same man for a period of 1 month. I was nearly raped, but this event took place pretty soon after surgery and the man could not physically get inside. Still, it took me months to come to terms with the fact that I did not give permission for the things he did to me. It took me having a good, respectful relationship with another person to realize that what happened to me was not okay. Even after 3 years, I still do not feel fully healed from the series of events but finally am in a place in my life where I believe I deserve to be happy. And I hope to find a healthy relationship of which abuse is not a component.
So there is my long-winded intro. I hope to get back in touch with the trans community and am happy to be here on the forum!
Cheers,
Andromeda
