Should I be hesitant?

[a.n.pesch]

Heh, feel like I'm asking for advice all over the forums today~

So the situation: I talked to my school's psychologist about being trans today, and about my desire to find an lgbt youth organization locally (not easy to find; I live in a pretty homo/transphobic part of Arizona). We talked about one weekly group (a thirty-minute drive away) and then she mentioned that another school in the district had a successful GSA club (something my school doesn't have, alas), and offered to call the sponsor to ask about me joining in. I thought it seemed like the best option, so I told her that would be great.

But I'm growing more and more anxious, because it is a GSA club, which I'd imagine would be more geared towards... cis-gendered gay/lesbian students, I guess. And for all intents and purposes, I personally identify as a straight male. Not to mention, I know that there is a percentage of the cis-gendered gay/lesbian community that disapproves of transfolk.

I mean, the last thing I want to do is hop from pretending to be a straight girl at school to pretending to be a lesbian girl at this club, and still being unable to assert myself as a male. Which is really all I want to do.

Not to mention, (and here I'm really just ranting--frustration and all) I'm afraid I just didn't get my point across to the psychologist, or she just didn't fully understand. Despite the fact that I repeated time and again that "I'm very comfortable with my attraction to girls" and "that isn't the issue, it's being female-bodied that's the issue", she.. just didn't seem to fully comprehend the I AM MALE AT HEART thing.

What really irked me is that after we talked and she called the GSA club sponsor, her side of the conversation was: "I've got a student here, she's a very sweet girl.... I think she'd be a great edition to your club..." so on and so forth. I... suppose I had hoped that she would at least ask if I would feel more comfortable with a male gender pronoun. The fact that she just assumed feminine pronouns were fine was.. rather frustrating.

And after that, I really got a sense that she still thought sexual orientation was the issue.

[JohnAlex]

I wouldn't worry just because it is called a "GSA" club. 
I just went to a GSA conference through my high school, and there was several trans people there too.  We found eachother and sit in the same group, lol.
At the conference, they had a guest speaker who was trans come up and educate.

And also at the conference I learned that a lot of high school administrators don't want a LGBT club, but somehow the students can get away with it if they call it a "GSA".  I don't get the difference.  Some school won't even allow a GSA, so the students have to call it "human rights" club, or "Equallity" club.  anything they can to make the administrators happy so they can have their LGBT club, which is what we all know it really is.

So, in high school, I wouldn't be worried at all just because of it's name.


and OMG, I literally gasped out loud when I read that she called you a "sweet girl" and said "she."  That's so disheartening, not to mention offensive.
I started seeing this therapist for the first time, and he didn't know anything about being trans either, he called me "she" and "miss" and that really upset me, because he's SUPPOSED to understand.
My adviser at my high school actually came up to me and asked me if I was trans, and I told the truth.  and after that she was trying to get me to meet the other LGBT students at my school, which I thought was cool.  I was touched, I have to say.  but then she introduced me to those students as "she."  And that sucked.  because I thought for sure they were all assuming I was a lesbian because I was introduced as "she."

It sucks when people who are supposed to GET IT, just don't get it.  and I've found that a lot of cis-gendered people just do not get it.
I don't know what I should do.  should I just not let it bother me.  I joined the LGBT club at my college and everyone, to my shock, GOT it.  they right away asked me if I wanted to be called "he", I told the truth.  and they all call me that, and they all get it.  and it's so amazing.  I almost cried that day.  It was my first day hanging out with other LGBT students like myself.  I have not known a single LGBT person before then

So my advise to you, join the GSA.  They should be able to get you when no one else who is supposed to does.

[Dane]

It's a Gay-Straight Alliance. At my GSA there are straight people, LGB people and there's a transguy (stereotypically named Aiden). It really shouldn't be a problem, and you shouldn't pretend to be anything you're not because all the LGB people WILL see right though that.

[Nygeel]

What's a nearby town or city? I know of a few groups in Arizona and might be able to find somebody with a bit more knowledge in the area if you'd like it.

[Sohmu]

My school has a GSA, and at one of our first meetings, we had a big  "Hi I'm __name__. and I am __attracted to__." And while no one else touched on gender, I tossed in that I was GQ leaning towards FTM and they kinda.. mumbled to themselves. I had to explain what that meant, but it went over pretty well. My thoughts were that of all options I had, they would be the most accepting, and even if some disapproved, it couldn't have been as bad as not? That's just my experience though, good luck to you!

[Peppy]

I went to my school's GSA club just yesterday with the exact same opinion: This club is for gay cis-males and lesbian cis-females...but it turned out that GSA's main purpose was to provide help and support for people who are "different", and they specified to our chapter that different meant anything that would not be normally acceptable, like, homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender, and anyone looking for help really. I'm not sure if the chapter you are looking at is the same, but I think that's what GSA's main focus is, or at least that's the impression I got. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person at my school who is having gender identification issues, so I'm totally alone in that respect, but everyone at the club was really nice and it was just nice getting to be around people who were (relatively) in the same boat. I actually offered to help bring in information and inform everyone on lgbtq news and topics when I came by them. I'm not sure the people in my chapter are very informed about trangender, but if I have anything to say about it, they will be by the end of the year. :-)

I'd say try it out. Who knows, it might be a great environment to express yourself. wouldn't it be terrible if you passed up that opportunity? and just because your councelor doesn't recognize your gender association doesn't' mean other people won't.

[bradlee2100]

My school is pretty accepting of me, my guidance counselor even calls me he when she called me down to the office the other day.
Except for the rude stares and comments I get pretty much every day by the same two groups of people, though some people even know that I'm an transgender and know what it means to be so they are pretty respectful and even defend me.

A sophomore last year started the GSA at my school.  There are a lot of teachers (including the principal) who attended the meetings and are supportive (most of them know me or have been my teacher at one point).  They just now got the courage to make a school announcement about the meeting dates, last year they meet in secret.
I went to two meetings, and I never went back because they focused strictly on LGB issues and not once brought up transgender people.  I thought they would at least talk about groups of students who are seen as "different" or have trouble with harassment, but they were strictly LGB.  At the last meeting I kind of felt singled out, especially none of my friends showed up so I sat along, so I never went back.  In fact, in the announcement that they made, they said something along the lines of "if you are gay, lesbian, bi, or just support LGB, you should attend GSA"

I would attend the meeting, and either talk with the adviser before hand, or when you introduce yourself say that you are a guy, or say what ever you will be comfortable with saying.  GSA groups are pretty supportive to how ever attends, they will not single you out or give you a hard time.  And since the school has a GSA to begin with, their school has to be somewhat, if not more, supporting of LGBT causes.

I don't think there are any transgender people that are out besides me, but I know of a few people who might be trans, so there's not a whole lot of trans awareness, if anything, there is no awareness at all. Which is really frustrating.

[Superrad]

When thinking of GSAs a lot of people miss the second part--"Straight". At my old high school there were people (both male and female) that identified as heterosexual but came because they were supportive of the community. Your sexuality shouldn't really prevent you from going to the club if you want to. However, you're definitely right that the club will be focused on homosexual men/women and associated issues. I was the only out tran person at my club and we talked about trans topics once--I felt like I was there to provide insight. It didn't really enlighten me with issues or allow me to discuss my own with like-minded people but it did provide an environment that was generally accepting and willing to learn. That was what I really enjoyed about the GSA.

As for other groups, I also attended a supplementary group for LGBT youth called Pride. It was outside of school but it changed my life radically. Not that it was very helpful on trans-specific issues either, it just provided another place where people would accept me and I could talk about my week/problems some with a group that would listen. I'd also go to that group 30 minutes away once or twice if you can, just to get the feel of it. There were only a couple of trans individuals (a sponsor, one trans girl, and two trans guys in the course of three years) but I still felt comfortable.

And with the pronoun issue, that really sucks. I know how it feels. :c However, a lot of therapists/counsellors aren't trained with gender issues so most don't even assume that using the wrong pronouns can be problematic. I know it's difficult but if you ask most people will try. When I was very passive about correcting people with pronouns I found that more often than not they'd use the wrong ones. Later I found out that they found what I was doing 'giving mixed messages' and they didn't know how much it bothered me. Once they did they generally made the effort to use the correct ones.