How do you know when people clock you?

[Sunnynight]

Even the most passable, passively attractive mtfs I can tell

I used to think I could tell. Then I met some people and had my whole idea of transdar blown out of the water.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I used to think I could tell. Then I met some people and had my whole idea of transdar blown out of the water.

I saw one of my gay friends tonight. He said, "I think some people spot you, but a lot of people have gotten over being freaked out over it. It's a different time now, people are seeing more of them"

He pretty much told me that awkwardness and ugliness freak people out. I mean I know from being a drag queen, there are those who pull it off well and those who don't. But we give them stars for being fabulous. I suppose there's a difference between the DIVINES and the Carmen Carerras.

^
Before I get hate mail for the above statement. I know transsexual women are women... But what you do with makeup, hair, personality, exercise, raw elements effect how people perceive you post transition. Hormones are only a small part of the equation

[A_Dresden_Doll]

This may sound pessimistic, but I just assume that I don't pass at all, learn to relax, and love the bomb.

But I'm six foot million, and over 200lbs. You crazy people may think I look pretty, but I am anything but a huge guy. But I am learning to get over it. Also, some of you know that my voice is atrocious. I get customers telling me I should be a radio announcer all the the time. But, like I said, I'm forcing myself to relax, hold my head high when I can, and act like nothing is wrong.

[Sunnynight]

I saw one of my gay friends tonight. He said, "I think some people spot you, but a lot of people have gotten over being freaked out over it. It's a different time now, people are seeing more of them"

He pretty much told me that awkwardness and ugliness freak people out. I mean I know from being a drag queen, there are those who pull it off well and those who don't. But we give them stars for being fabulous. I suppose there's a difference between the DIVINES and the Carmen Carerras.

^
Before I get hate mail for the above statement. I know transsexual women are women... But what you do with makeup, hair, personality, exercise, raw elements effect how people perceive you post transition. Hormones are only a small part of the equation

I think you and I might be on the same wavelength with regards to presentation. BTW I loves me some drag queens.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I think you and I might be on the same wavelength with regards to presentation. BTW I loves me some drag queens.

I mean my drag queen friends have told me, "You're like us, but 24/7"...it takes a lot to look the way you do everyday". I'd rather drag queens give the girls here fashion tips than the older transitioners. I mean in theory, the presentation is very similar..

When I started transitioning, the older woman in my group told me "You need training from me on how to pass and act like a woman" and I was like, "take lessons from a 59 yr old who just started...umm  "

[Arch]

Well the one time I was clocked severely, this gay black kid said I had "masculine features" and the men on the board said I was "fugly". But they were toy collectors... Guys who are still mentally 12.

I think you give them too much credit.

I think that we usually know when we've been clocked because people always seem to want us to know. But if a fellow trans person clocks us, I don't know what usually happens. We don't have a secret nod or tattoo or handshake, and I think most of us are considerate enough not to out others whom we think are trans.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I think you give them too much credit.
I think most of us are considerate enough not to out others whom we think are trans.

If I am not doing anything, I will go up to them and talk to them. i really don't care... I mean thats how my friend Erin and I met...I straight up asked her, "You're trans, right?"

[TheAetherealMeadow]

I want to point out that one thing I've noticed is that as soon as someone finds out you're trans, suddenly, EVERYTHING is a masculine feature. For example, my shoulders are 16 inches across, which is below average even for cis females, yet I still have people say I have broad shoulders. Their perception of you becomes so ridiculously biased that even if you had a 40E-23-40 figure, they will still be saying you have a masculine body shape. They say that because it challenges their pre-conceived notions of gender so they say you look masculine to rationalize it to themselves. It really sucks because then what happens is that you internalize that biased perception, and you come down with what I call "femmarexia", analogous to how someone with anorexia or bulimia nervosa always sees themselves as fat even if they are severely underweight, you will always see yourself as masculine looking no matter how feminine you actually look.

[pebbles]

You can't unless someone openly expresses said doubts with you somtimes you might think you know when you walk past someone and they stare at you as you walk past if it happens alot you can generally assume somthing is up... However I did this once and I thought "do I really look that bad today?" it was when I looked down and realized I had a huge hole in my leggings... and pepole stopped staring at me once I got changed.

somtimes however you think somone might have clocked you when they stare at you but you don't know what they are really thinking "Is that a guy in a dress?" or "I like how she looks"

Somtimes you know those days are usually when I've not shaved for eletrolysis.

I personally live as a female full time at work and apart from HR I don't think anyone knows at least I've not been gendered as a male by anyone. When I pointed out in my interview that I'd changed my name recently on my passport the manager responded with. "did you get married?" where I had to say. "No... umm change of gender."

[Arch]

When I pointed out in my interview that I'd changed my name recently on my passport the manager responded with. "did you get married?" where I had to say. "No... umm change of gender."

This is fabulous.

[Forever21Chic]

When I started transitioning, the older woman in my group told me "You need training from me on how to pass and act like a woman" and I was like, "take lessons from a 59 yr old who just started...umm  "

  ROFL      Yeah i know what you mean, it was the same deal with the women in my support group. They told me listen up and i'll pass one day, problem with that is none of them passed and they got clocked alot.   

[Mahsa Tezani]

  ROFL      Yeah i know what you mean, it was the same deal with the women in my support group. They told me listen up and i'll pass one day, problem with that is none of them passed and they got clocked alot.   

Passing under what notion? You look cute...and seem very very femme. Some women here will pass as geeks, others as renfair/gothy women, other as babes... We're not all the same.

I mean I am not saying some guys don't think I am fugly...they probably do. Doesn't show in their faces...doesn't show in their behavior when even the homliest of nerds are sweet to me. The same kind of guys who would tear into me on a message forum. But hardly amounts to being clocked, when I said I was trans on my LJ...if they know, they will find a way to tear you apart.

If you ever talk to me...I am very bitchy, aggressive, and blunt honest. I think it challenges a lot of the older trans communities notions on how women should act.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

I'm obviously under the babe category.
/sticks out bare leg


forgot to shave btw 

[Mahsa Tezani]

I'm obviously under the babe category.
/sticks out bare leg


forgot to shave btw 

You and me both tootz. Only going by what people tell me.

[Forever21Chic]

     You two always manage to make me laugh. <3


  I don't think i fall into the babe category.......more like the FOXY category!!  *Plays hendrix foxy lady*      << never thought i'd get to use that smiley

[Joeyboo~ :3]

<3

This may sound pessimistic, but I just assume that I don't pass at all, learn to relax, and love the bomb.

But I'm six foot million, and over 200lbs. You crazy people may think I look pretty, but I am anything but a huge guy. But I am learning to get over it. Also, some of you know that my

she's a brick... HOWZE

[Mahsa Tezani]

     You two always manage to make me laugh. <3


  I don't think i fall into the babe category.......more like the FOXY category!!  *Plays hendrix foxy lady*      << never thought i'd get to use that smiley

Why do I imagine Garth from waynes world going up to you doing that song?

[Mariposa]

One would think that after transitioning/currently in the process, you sort of develop this heightened sense of awareness of the environment around you. And you can sort of tell usually if people clock you from the way they look at you; not even necessarily outright say something to you (Though I have witnessed it MANY times from hanging out with fellow sisters who didn't pass very well.), but the double takes are also a good indicator that you most likely got clocked (Unless you're far into your transition, then they were probably just checking you out! ).  I can't say i've ever been clocked personally. Then again, I started around my late teens and often dressed very neutral in the beginning so people weren't sure what gender pronouns to use, and that actually got me a lot more unwanted attention than normal, but I generally passed as female even in "awkward girl mode".  And there is also one's voice! This in my opinion, will either make or break you in terms of passing. I know a few girls that pass super well and are mega pretty and then when they open their mouths to talk it's like, "WHOA! CLOCKZILLAAAAAAAA!!!! RUUUUUN!!!"

There are also a few girls I know that pump themselves with silicone and have done a whole lot of "drag" shows (Because in some places here in Orlando, you practically have to go full blown ->-bleeped-<- if you wanna do "drag" in some places here. But thankfully not all of them.) and a great deal of them carry themselves like sassy flaming gay men and that usually gets them clocked right away.  Aside from passing physically, I believe that a great deal of our success in passing comes from the way you carry yourself in public. Take notes from cis girls(Mother, sister, best friend), because most of them have done it a lot longer than you have and you'd be an dummy if you didn't head their advice/observe how they act and socialize.

[AbraCadabra]

It does happen to me still, that I get what I'd call an 'inquiring' look.
That could be because I do not look the usual female at my age (65) i.e. biggish bottom, comfort shoes, no make-up, big bosom, etc.

It could mean just - hey, you look interesting... it is never disapproving though I must say.
(Some thought I was Sharon Stone under cover, oh yeah?)

And with most any folks I speak to, I NEVER get anything remotely disapproving either. In fact quite the opposite in deed.

So, am I being clocked?
Hey, most people have not even an idea what transsexualism is... I don't know your part of the world, and it may be VERY different there.

At present I do not pass with my passport and/or ID card picture anymore, and had some fun when coming back from Thailand SRS in SA.
Only my post-op doctor's letter saved the day - and then I got some very friendly smiles from the passport control lady and was waved through :-)

Axelle

[tekla]

If you don't know what it is, how do you know what you are looking for?

I'm sure that the Bay Area has a very high percentage of people (much higher than say Omaha) who 'know' someone who is transgendered.  Be it someone they work with, someone who works in a store where they shop, or who rides the same bus as they do - some sort of casual familiarity.  And the more you know....   So it makes sense that more people in that area are conditioned to know what they are looking for, and at.