Quote from: URse on February 19, 2013, 02:18:53 PM
Biologically I don't want to change myself, but mentally I feel out of synch and yet not completely. I thought that maybe I was just a normal woman who had issues with my appearance. Yet the idea of living like a woman no longer appeals to me, it feels as though I would be be lying to myself if I became the stereotypical woman. Especially since I feel as though I've tried all my life to fit the ideal image of a woman. I want to make peace with myself and all these feelings I have accumulated over the years, and tell myself that these emotions are normal, but I don't know if they are or where to go to talk about these feelings. Especially since, in someway and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel ashamed of being neither male or female, but at the same time. I feel as though by accepting this part of me, I won't be ashamed of being something that is normal. So I am here and hope to learn a great deal from my elders. I hope you do not mind that I call those of you here 'elders' It is out of respect, though perhaps the term 'teachers' sounds more appealing. In conclusion, I am still very new to all of this and want to learn more. So for those of you who read this, thank you. :3
Hi, URse, I am in some ways something like that. At school, many people bullied me (though I am not certain why) and the issues with appearance were common to me, but I didn't realize I wanted to be 'female-looking'. As much as I like shopping, I don't like gossiping and wearing too feminine clothes - I'm just something in between.
My issues weren't classified as gender-related by me until 27, but many of them certainly are, even if they mean minor traits that, summed, will result in at least a strong clue. I don't feel like wearing dresses and skirts (though in the future it may change), nor wearing makeup eeeveryday. I just do it when I see fit.
About being male or female: I'm just something like that. I appreciate many male aspects for me (I'm MAAB) and I also appreciate many female aspects. So as male and female are social constructs, when we have enough aspects from both "sexes", how are we supposed to react? How am I supposed to feel if both male and female or neither are options to me? My own decision was: I am MAAB, but will change my gender presentation to female, even if an androgynous one.
I fortunately know some non-stereotypical males and females. They are settled with their gender construct, but they also aren't that stereotypical. Some men wear makeup, some women wear male jackets and I know people from both genders that look androgynous.
There are no elders of teachers here, we're just sharing our perspectives
As everyone is an entire and unique universe, it may happen that we connect in a tortuous way, but we shall always remember that we are diverse in many aspects, more than commonly found, because we just share our innards. And in them there are all the subtleties that make us rich. AFAIK, our difference as a community lies in the fact that we are able to share things between ourselves more freely than in many other communities. We may share our "strange" tastes. And that's why we like so much this place.
Welcome!