Non-Binary Introductions

[Jamie D]

Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.

That is a fantastic attitude and a great approach to being who you are.  To me, it matters not how I present.  Even if I even had SRS (not likely, all things considered), I would be most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt! 

Glad to have you aboard! 

[Jamie D]

welcome kim and caseyb!

@ kim: i think there are many women who are comfortable with a female body but not a feminine presentation. you might be one of them? there's luckily no law or social norm that women have to present all that feminine with dresses and corsets and... only weird thing is that they seem to expect trans women to be all about the presentation rather than the right hormone level and body parts.

@ caseyb: that's a loooong post. try breaking it into a few paragraphs next time? it will make it much easier to read, even if you make it longer than that.
interesting to hear that you chickened out. i did the same when i came to a point where i knew i couldn't live with myself the way i was, but still couldn't seem to find that very strong identification with the opposite sex. i'd love to be a man, but not if that's what it's all about. and the only thing i don't like about being a woman are the odd expectations (actually more from women than men. why do women have to have so strong opinions about how everyone should be?) and these two lumps on my chest that seriously get in my way some times. i'm somewhat too butch for a woman and love dresses too much for a man. at least i managed to stop caring about my mom's comments that i dress too masculine, it doesn't mean that i don't look good in it, just that i look more feminine in other clothes, but that's not something i want to look all the time. if you manage to find a feminine style that suits you, i'm sure most people will think you're totally weird for wearing female clothes, but not much more than that. i once saw a guy who looked totally cool in a skirt, and that japanese visual kei also has some styles that should be fairly acceptable, like emo once was, if you just pretend that's your reason if people ask too many questions.

Good one, Taka!

[ativan]

Hah! I was asked where my introduction was.
So I looked back. Never did put one up, did I...
If I put one up that dates back to the start of this topic...
I don't know how to introduce myself.
Maybe that's it. Maybe not. I don't know.
It's complicated? Boring?
It would be to long, like most of my posts?
I'll just leave it alone.
I'm pretty sure that's why I never did it in the first place.
What a long strange trip it's been.
Ativan

[Shantel]

Ativan your avatar photo is hawt! 

[Gina_Z]

Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.

[Shantel]

Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.

Hi Gina, you came to the right place, hope we get to know you better as time goes on, you are in good company here!

[Kim 526]

Hi Gina! This is an awesome forum, very welcoming to all. I've only been a member a short while but have found some real gems that others have written, which helped me understand a little more about myself.

[Taka]

welcome gina!

your dream sounds wonderful, i hope it comes true.

[Gina_Z]

Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.

Kim, I just stumbled upon your interesting intro. I like your SRS followed by adrogynous presentation. I would like to have a similar scenario for myself, maybe with some added fem days, when I'm in that mood. I have not transitioned yet, but I can really empathize with your story.

[Kim 526]

Hi Gina! It wasn't by design, it's just the way everything worked out. I consider myself a lucky litttle creature because it could have turned out bad. When I was out MTF, I was at a bar with 3 other girls and was assaulted by 2 guys (won). None of my chickens#*t friends would raise a finger to help me. As a result I didn't go to a bar for months after that (don't drink much anyway). But now, betwixt and somewhere between, I have more confidence than ever in myself.

Things get better and can turn out better than you ever dreamed.
Hugs, Kim   = )

[Jamie D]

Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.

I said "Hi" to you in your main page introduction, but let me add, "Welcome to the Unicorn Forest" now.  We have a marvelous group of people who post here.  I love each and every one of them. 

[Gina_Z]

Hi! Thanks for the nice welcome. Good to be here!

[musicofthenight]

Hello.  I try to keep my legal name off the Internet, so just call me music.  Demisexual, masculine by habit, and I guess questioning-genderfluid too.

So first up, I have to acknowledge that there are lots and lots of people here far more courageous than I am, caught between bigotry and self doubt far worse than anything I deal with.  I have a lot of respect for them and as silly as it sounds I sometimes suspect I'm "not trans* enough."

(No one's makes me feel that way, it's just my self-doubt.)

I like my body.  And I can't honestly say "I'm not male."  Penis?  Check.  Attracted to women?  Sure, if they impress me on an emotional level.  I friend-zone masculine guys.  Oh, and I come from strict LGBT-phobic parents so it's sooooo tempting to let them keep thinking "he's straight, thank God he's not one of them queers.  Doesn't like porn?  What an angel!"

(Not quite.  I've been known to write it from time to time.)

The thing is ever since the puberty fairy came along, I've become less and less one of the guys.  More than anything it's like everyone else moved along, fit comfortably into adult gender roles, etc., etc.  It didn't help that I was pretty seriously depressed and suffering undiagnosed metabolic issues that very well could have messed with my hormones.

Through school, I was happiest in smart, creative, gender-mixed company: math, debate, music, drama.  But what I realize now is I probably got read gay.  Bitterly ironic, huh?  Of all things I'm not, "pretty twink seeking a big strong man" ranks just about furthest from the mark.

Hypothesis: my masculinity is just an act, into which I've been typecast.  It's not even a role I hate, just sometimes it's limiting.  I bet Nick Cage has days where he dreams of playing a serious badass in a serious movie (or just in a serious movie), or Jim Carey would maybe once not be Ace Ventura.

My heroic ideal, with the understanding that heroes are people not boys goes something like this.  I want be fun like Richard Feynman and brilliant like Ingrid Daubechies.  I want to follow my own beat like Nikola Tesla.  I want to stare down the darkness of the human soul like Flannery O'Connor and love like Fred Rogers.  I want to be the badass action-chick star of a Joss Whedon story, or conflicted and noble like O. S. Card's Andrew Wiggins, or just delightfully weird like Luna of the Potterverse.

And that's, more or less, who I am.  For now.

[Shantel]

Welcome Music! You are another adventurous soul sojourning through the Unicorn Forest!

[Gina_Z]

Kim, thank you for those warm thoughts!

[elementgreen]

Hello, I'm Joseph :3 I'm comfortable with either male or female pronouns, so feel free to refer to me as either. I haven't really found a gender neutral name to work with yet.

I'm still a bit in limbo about how I feel about myself... I'm still trying to figure out both my gender and sexuality, as I've been in denial of many things for most of my life. I come from a strong Christian family, so I've always kind of been ashamed of some of my feelings, even carrying over when I went to Atheism. I seem to feel like both a male and female at times, and sometimes neither at all. To be honest I've always been afraid of being too masculine in both looks and attitude anyway, even when I claimed to be a purely heterosexual male. Most of the time I don't really notice when I behave or carry myself like a female, so hiding it always led to failure.

Now I'm pretty withdrawn and reclusive, so I suppose it's a lot harder to tell except for the way I carry myself. I seem to be able to balance my masculine side and feminine side these days. I hope to let go of that and find my true identity within the clutter in my head. Reading these posts has been very inspiring to say the least.

[Shantel]

Hello, I'm Joseph :3 I'm comfortable with either male or female pronouns, so feel free to refer to me as either. I haven't really found a gender neutral name to work with yet.

I'm still a bit in limbo about how I feel about myself... I'm still trying to figure out both my gender and sexuality, as I've been in denial of many things for most of my life. I come from a strong Christian family, so I've always kind of been ashamed of some of my feelings, even carrying over when I went to Atheism. I seem to feel like both a male and female at times, and sometimes neither at all. To be honest I've always been afraid of being too masculine in both looks and attitude anyway, even when I claimed to be a purely heterosexual male. Most of the time I don't really notice when I behave or carry myself like a female, so hiding it always led to failure.

Now I'm pretty withdrawn and reclusive, so I suppose it's a lot harder to tell except for the way I carry myself. I seem to be able to balance my masculine side and feminine side these days. I hope to let go of that and find my true identity within the clutter in my head. Reading these posts has been very inspiring to say the least.

Welcome Joseph, hopefully you will find some answers here, be encouraged that God loves you and wouldn't want you to live out your life in confusion and misery. ~Shan~

[Night Haven]

*Waves* Hey again, everyone.

So I guess I should post here; in truth, I'm a lot of things, but androgynous with a masculine emphasis seems to fit darn well most of the time.

Why I'm here? I've been exploring options for transition lately and happened upon this site. It seemed very active and welcomed all genders, so I thought I'd do well to register. I'm glad I did. 

[Carter]

Hi! For now I'll just say I'm Carter, and I guess I'm not really sure what I am at all.

I've been dwelling on my gender for around a year, and I figured the best place to ask for advice would be here, considering how welcoming the community seems. My parents tolerate the idea of transgenders at best, and I really don't want to risk my relationship with them by telling them or asking for help :/

I don't feel right saying "I'm a girl", or "I'm a boy", but I really do wish there was a word for the way I feel, so I'll stick with androgynous for now.  I try to blend masculine and feminine as far as my presentation goes, but there's only so much I can do with my parents supervising my shopping and steering me away from androgynous/masculine clothing.

I've never used a forum before (I'm not really even sure if I'm posting this right?), so I apologize in advance for any mistakes ;-;

[Kim 526]

Hi Night Haven & Carter,
Welcome! I've only been here about 2 weeks, and I think this forum is awesome. Everyone is positive and helpful, plus there are many informative posts.
Kim