Non-Binary Introductions

[Trying to be me]

mhmm... i get it.
you're lucky, really, to be that comfortable with your body.
i like my own body quite well. it doesn't feel like someone else's, like i'm trapped in a... uh..
i'm not too sure i get what i mean. i constantly forget the differences between sex and gender and me and what i'm probably not.
"transgender" is a term that's meant to cover also those who have a different gender identity than what fits well with their birth sex, but don't really want to transition physically. but if you don't feel like it's a right term for you, "non-binary" is more than enough to say something about you.

I still have my issues. I still get body dysmorphia. I just don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. Maybe one day I'll change my mind. I don't know. I'm remaining openminded.  Maybe this is TMI but I won't lie and say I've never had penis envy.

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm still learning all the terms. There are so many!

[Jak]

Thanks for the welcomes!

I've been doing a lot of reading. I know what I want. How to bring it up at home is another story... I look forward to 'seeing' folks in the forums!

Be well.

[Taka]

i don't think i have penis envy. i'd have to envy people for their penes for that, wouldn't i?
i'm just weirded out that i don't have one, and feel like good dreams never last long enough.

[DKTGSupport]

I'm 41 yo MAAB, found my sexuality or the lack of it through another site called : www.asexuality.org.
Are trying to accept that having sex will never happen.
Have being annoyed by my erections, but after figuring out who I was it has decreased with 30 %.
If I were in my early 20's I would love to seek a nullification.

Other accounts+nick  :
YT : DKTGSupport
Eunuch archive : Royal Creative

Today I see myself as agender, on websites I'm VERY open about my secret wish to become a neutrois.

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's and the non binary forum.  You are not alone in seeking nullification and others here have expressed similar interests.  I hope you enjoy the many thousands of personal posts and find more or what matters to you.  Happy Solstice too.

[DoYouRealize]

Hello all. I'm enjoying the diversity here, and the kindness.
I'm going by Gatsby. I'm 35 & genderfluid, or genderqueer, or gender-something.
The bod & chromosomes are female, & i've recently begun taking T to address a wee bit of dysphoria and take me towards a more androgynous physical form. I generally like my body.

[Tessa James]

Diversity plus!  And yes, kindness and even love when we're not being bitchy;-)

A warm holiday welcome to you, our Great Gatsby.

I am very sure there are many here who can relate to your situation.  I applaud your personal comfort and willingness to embrace the non binary options.   Welcome aboard.

[JulieBlair]

It is always wonderful to meet a new seeker.  You may have already looked around some, but there is a lot of wisdom, friendship and love on these pages.  Welcome!

Julie

[gildedfire]

Hello, I am a non-binary who was born female and I like to go by the name of Chess and the they pronouns. I am nowhere near open with how I feel about my gender, and while I feel like neither gender my features are decided female to my great discomfort. I am hoping to be able to talk to others about their own genders to try and feel more comfortable with my own (: Thank you for your time.

[Tessa James]

Good morning Chess and welcome to the bright and non binary part of the forum.  I expect you can find this an OK place to share your feelings about gender.  There are many of us here that do not fit the usual mold or mantras.  Some of that is more than those uncomfortable features you mention and we share a long rambling and sometimes focused dialogue about it.  We are far more than our superficial looks reveal.  Getting to know one another and ourselves can take some time.  I hope to see you around.

[genderirrelevant]

Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut.

[Tessa James]

Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut

GI you bring up the matter of social precedent and fitting in--is there anyone really like me?   I did not think so and like you, the binary explanation for the worlds people was insufficient.   The truth is we are not terribly unusual but certainly not the mainstream view either.  It is OK to be especially unique and I admire your perseverance in achieving your goals.  The labels may not fit but we do have options about our bodily configuration.  Be the best you can for yourself.

[JulieBlair]

Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut.

Hello and welcome,

It seems to me that you have articulated the two most important considerations for top surgery.  First that it is a considered action, Next that it really isn't anyones business other than your own.  If you choose to educate some; more power to you.  If not then it really is none of their concern.  Many of us (and by us I mean me) have discovered community as we became more authentic.  I live as I both choose to and need to today.  Suddenly the people who find that attractive exceed those who do not, and much against my own best judgement I have friends and people that I trust in my life now.  Having lived both ways, the latter for me anyway, is better.  Good luck with the surgical interview, I hope that you are able to find the body and expression that works for you.  That is the ultimate criteria after all - does it work?

Peace,
Julie

[Princen Nix]

Hi, my fellows,

I had been questioning my gender several months ago and I can now proudly state that I am neutrois. If this were just a phase it would have ended within the first few weeks like most everything I get into. I'm good with most any gender neutral pronouns, but I have a soft spot for ne/nem/nir/nemself. I'm currently only internet out, but I want to be out IRL someday.

Thanks for your time.

[JulieBlair]

Welcome to this little non-binary corner of the internet.    I hope that as you explore you find your questions and your answers.  There is no correct way to be, and neither wrong questions nor wrong answers, just those things that work.  Thanks for coming by, and I am looking forward to your story.

Peace,
Julie

[Corvus]

Hello, I'm still trying to figure out my name.. I've been going by Harvey, but I think I'm going to make that my middle name. My name might end up being Jaime/Jamie, Jean... maybe something else, not sure yet! I'm working through names with my friends and surprisingly supportive family. I do know I want they/them pronouns! I'm 16 years old and from north eastern USA. I'm neutrois and quite dysphoric about my body, unfortunately. My transition plans include top surgery and a hysterectomy, no HRT or bottom surgery.
I'm a little new to Susan's, although I've know my identity for.. almost a year now, maybe more? I really started solidifying my transgender indentity in August of 2013 I think. Hard to believe it's going to be 2015! in a matter of hours!
I came out to my parents recently, although my close friends have known for a while and they've been the best, most supportive people I can imagine.
I just want to say, I'm very glad to see so many people who are grown adults here. A lot of people dismiss this as a phase, or a teenage thing, and you all basically prove them wrong! Thank you for existing, you're all an inspiration and you give me hope.
I look forward to a wonderful time on this site!

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's Corvus, I'm out on the west coast.

As you are likely aware there is also a forum section here for youth.  Your age is encouraging to an old girl like me as it suggests more people are getting educated about gender non conformity, including parents.  You are certainly right on about this not being a phase too.  Most of the older transitioners I have met refer to a lifetime of knowing they are different but with little assistance available back then. 

We seem to be encountering quite a few people lately who, like you, consider themselves neutrois.  That is relatively a new concept for many of us but sure makes sense.  Lots of people, including me, have not clearly felt our selves to be a single gender.  Terms like masculine and feminine are simply not adequate for describing people in the first place.  Good for you for having the strength and insight to work it out.  I might suggest you take your time and have fun with a name that is yours for a long time to come.  Happy New Year

[genderirrelevant]

I just want to say, I'm very glad to see so many people who are grown adults here. A lot of people dismiss this as a phase, or a teenage thing, and you all basically prove them wrong! Thank you for existing, you're all an inspiration and you give me hope.

I started saying I would never get married back when I was 12. I remember at 14 saying that if I hadn't changed my mind in 2 years then clearly I knew my own mind. Now I look back on that and chuckle a little at my naivety. I was right but I had little clue then so I could easily have turned out wrong. It's a little like all those Olympian athletes who knew they would get to the Olympics from an early age and they were right yet so many children declare they're going to the Olympics but many never even become adult athletes.

What I'm saying is that it's great you are actively thinking about who you are and what will help you be who you want to be but if it turns out to be a phase that's OK, too. Just as you don't have to lock yourself into the gender binary, you don't have to lock yourself forever into the identity that currently fits you best. I wish I'd known about non-binary identities when I was young. As a small child I assumed I was a girl and didn't have a problem with it but that 'phase' ended shortly before puberty. I never turned into a big girl or woman or lady. I'm just agender "me".

[JamieRJ]

Hi All,

My name is Jamie, I am a newly out agender, although I can trace being agender back to my childhood.

I am looking for information on transitioning FtN.

I have an appointment with my GP on Friday, next week, I am worried about how to discuss the issue with him. I am new to the Drs practice (I have only lived in the area for a few months) and I live in a small English town with very conservative values, so I am not sure how to approach it. I have had bad experiences with doctors in the past, particularly with regard to my asexuality and other things too.

I would like to be able to go in to my appointment armed with knowledge about what is available/possible, and I am struggling to find information about FtN transitions as most of the information is based on FtM or MtF.  Can anyone give me any advice?

Thanks

Jamie

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's Jamie,

Congratulations for coming out!  I can readily appreciate your concerns about being outside of the MtF or FtM binary and dealing with assistance.  I was advised not to put any weight on my non binary perspective or risk the gatekeepers red flag.  Not sure how it works on your side of the pond but HRT is an important place to start and it works for us as non binary people too.  I don't like to be less than honest but vividly recall how little assistance I could find 20 years ago when I attempted to transition as non binary.  People were not cool to the idea of anything but a strict MtF perspective then.  Anything else was consider less serious crossdressing.

Your journey is unique and our goals and aspirations may change along the way.  I try to remember I don't have a specific destination so much as wanting and needing to enjoy my every day life.  Please share more of what you encounter.  You and other friends here are writing the next chapter in that book.