Non-Binary Introductions

[JamieRJ]

Thanks Tessa.

I started up a blog to chart my journey:

http://agender-agenda.blogspot.co.uk/

I thought it would be a good place to start 

Thanks
Jamie x

[caseps]

Hello, I'm Casey. I'm been reading through the forums here every once in a while for a few years, I think, but I didn't join until now. Everyone's stories are really comforting to me!

I'm 23, they/them, faab and I say I'm genderfluid, but it mostly hovers around agender. Gender dysphoria is something that has been hitting me since... before I was 10, at least. But due to the ambiguous, (fluid!) nature of it, when I learned that people could be transsexual, I didn't think it applied to me. I thought I was just a weird pervert for most of middle/high school, until I found the word genderfluid a year into college, about 4 years ago.

In the future, I plan to go on testosterone if I can manage to get over my social anxiety long enough to find doctors that will help me. Mostly, I want bottom surgery, since that's what gives me the most dysphoria. I also have a very loving boyfriend who was with me when I discovered the word and supports my plans to transition!

Besides my gender stuff, I'm also Buddhist and have a bachelors in illustration, which I'm not using at the moment. I watch a lot of cartoons.

[genderirrelevant]

Hi All,

My name is Jamie, I am a newly out agender, although I can trace being agender back to my childhood.

I am looking for information on transitioning FtN.

Hey, Jamie!

Glad to see you found your way over here from FB. You're my warm fuzzy for the day because I feel like I actually helped someone. Enjoy exploring.

J.D.

[Tessa James]

Hello, I'm Casey. I'm been reading through the forums here every once in a while for a few years, I think, but I didn't join until now. Everyone's stories are really comforting to me!

I'm 23, they/them, faab and I say I'm genderfluid, but it mostly hovers around agender. Gender dysphoria is something that has been hitting me since... before I was 10, at least. But due to the ambiguous, (fluid!) nature of it, when I learned that people could be transsexual, I didn't think it applied to me. I thought I was just a weird pervert for most of middle/high school, until I found the word genderfluid a year into college, about 4 years ago.

In the future, I plan to go on testosterone if I can manage to get over my social anxiety long enough to find doctors that will help me. Mostly, I want bottom surgery, since that's what gives me the most dysphoria. I also have a very loving boyfriend who was with me when I discovered the word and supports my plans to transition!

Besides my gender stuff, I'm also Buddhist and have a bachelors in illustration, which I'm not using at the moment. I watch a lot of cartoons.

Hello Casey and welcome to Susan's Place.  Thousands of members and millions of internet hits= a lot of interesting people and connections.  You note gender dysphoria since age 10 and that sounds very familiar.  Gender fluid works to describe many of us here too.  You must be a very creative sort and we need alternative thinking more days than not;-)    Hope you find some interesting connections here.

[PigFiddle]

Hello! I'm new here and have only just really begun to seriously question my gender a few months ago. Pretty sure that I'm non-binary, don't feel strongly male, don't feel strongly female, more like certain aspects of me are softer (feminine-ish) and other aspects are rougher. (masculine-ish) What exactly my gender is I have no idea. I don't think it's both, and it doesn't seem to fluctuate much so it isn't fluid. Maybe neither? Completely lost on where to start, so here I am! Advice is appreciated!

A bit about me I guess. Born female, trying to get an art degree while raising four mischievous rats, and exploring crochet. (and a bit of buddhism here and there)

[Tessa James]

Hi PF and welcome to Susan's Place.  You must really be busy with "four on the floor"    Gender non conforming folks describe a wealth of diversity that fills a wonderful rainbow spectrum.  So much of our journey is unique while we recognize some familiar challenges along the way.  The rigid conformity of a typical childhood gets the heave ho as more people are willing to search within themselves for what is the essence of our intrinsic identity.  Biology is definitely not our destiny and the simple labels of male, female, masculine and feminine inadequate in understanding our genuine selves.

Exploration is completely valid while the depth of our inquiry is seemly determined by the strength of dysphoria or interest.  The classical formula wherein I knew I was a _____ all my life doesn't work for everyone.  Many times more people cruise these pages than become members so we can safely assume that there is tremendous interest in non stereotypical people.  Again how far we proceed is so individual.  Some of us feel compelled and unable to even consider a path other than transition.  Others may dip their toes in the water and find enough info to reinforce the closeted life, find a comfortable plateau or inspiration for their own declaration and coming out party.  It sometimes feels like we have little in common beyond our trans interests.  Sexual orientation is a separate consideration and may reflect any part of the LGBTQIA community.   For those with a need to know themselves better, web sites  like  this,  books and friends can really help.  For more targeted assistance a gender therapist is invaluable for addressing some essential questions and for actually entering into the medical world of HRT, surgery etc.  They can function as gatekeepers in a way and some of us with less binary inclinations may soft pedal the less classical nature of our identity.  I hope and believe that is changing as more people recognize and accept that we non binary people are just as valid and real and in need of assistance too.  Good luck to you, I hope your meditations help you find that peace and some answers and please stay the course with your art.  HRT and ART save lives

[eve1974]

hi everyone. I'm just trying to find my place. I have always felt different than everyone else. I didn't know there was such a thing as non-binary.

I am married and have a son.
did boy things as a child as well as played "girl" games too.
I have gynocomastia and am having an orchiectomy. and have started taking herbals to grow out my breasts. when I have my surgery to remove my burden I plan to take estrogen. just trying to get mind and body inline.

[Tessa James]

Hello Eve, i think you can find a good right place here for acceptance and safe exploration.  The reality of non binary has been around for a long time but not as well known.  The magic, star power and headlines of a transitioning celebrity going from dude to model gorgeous woman does not even come close to many of our personal stories.  Being married and having a son adds further depth to your journey.  For many of us finding that right alignment of body and mind is both an opportunity and challenge.  The very heartfelt stories and experiences of our brothers and sisters gives this place a sense of community.

I'm glad you found us and hope to see you around.

[eve1974]

Hello Eve, i think you can find a good right place here for acceptance and safe exploration.  The reality of non binary has been around for a long time but not as well known.  The magic, star power and headlines of a transitioning celebrity going from dude to model gorgeous woman does not even come close to many of our personal stories.  Being married and having a son adds further depth to your journey.  For many of us finding that right alignment of body and mind is both an opportunity and challenge.  The very heartfelt stories and experiences of our brothers and sisters gives this place a sense of community.

I'm glad you found us and hope to see you around.

thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.

[JulieBlair]

thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.

The search for self is the goal of all pilgrimages.  This is no less a journey than any other, and is often mind boggling difficult and wonderful at the same time.  It really doesn't matter where on the gender identity spectrum you fit now, nor where you eventually land, to seek an authentic way to live is both the journey and the destination.  Welcome!

Julie

[ERROR: gender undefined;]

[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hello... I'm EB. I found this forum several years ago and loved reading everyone's posts but I was too scared to join in... My therapist suggested I get involved with the LGBT community to feel less excluded day-to-day in my particular area of the planet. I'm androgyne / non-binary. When I was about 3 or 4 I asked my parents when I would turn into a boy and they said that wouldn't happen - so I cried. After that I would swing to super feminine (as I absorbed it from tv), and masculine of center. Things got complicated when I was abused pre-teen and then bullied by that person for years afterward. So, I've had some questions about where and what my identity is separate from the hate that was forced on me.

Things only recently got better after I met my mate and I told my family about pretty much everything and started therapy for a lot of issues. Meds are the bomb. haha  I'm doing a lot better now and my mate says he's ok with me having top surgery someday. Hopefully, that will happen. It inspires me with confidence to know there are others out there who are like me: not in any box in particular but happy and wanting a partial transition to androgynous. Sometimes I wonder if I should be "extreme" in some direction, so I try.... but then I always come back to myself. Learning that that's a thing and not just "nothing".

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post - just wanted to say thank you all for being a part of this forum. I've learned a lot by reading about non-binarianism (?) and how it's all ok.

[helen2010]

Welcome EB

The non binary journey is in many ways a 'road less traveled'.  But it is a journey that is uniquely yours.  A course that you plot and a path that you author is in many ways far more compelling and authentic than one which is bestowed by birth.  Once I realised that being non binary gave me the opportunity to define and to express myself then it opened a whole world of possibility and growth.

Like you, once I understood myself to be trans I assumed that I was a binary TS (in my case mtf ).... finding out that I wasn't and that my identity was mine to define and to test was a revelation.  Always tempted to push the boundaries until I find discomfort and return to a better place.

Your mate sounds great and I wish you well.  Lots of folk here with great insight, support and friendship. It's great to have you join.

Safe travels

Aisla

[helen2010]

thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.

Eve

The journey really is about finding 'me', ie your unique and authentic self.  It may change or it may be fixed but it is the trans experience and I wish you well on your journey.  Over time the joy of finding, understanding and expressing your authentic self is well worth the occasional confused glance.

Safe travels

Aisla

[suzifrommd]

[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hi EB

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs from a fellow NB.

Suzi

[adrian]

Hey EB,

I'm glad you joined! I posted a quote a few days back which basically said "everything is a spectrum" -- transition is a spectrum too. It's composed of many small steps. And while many of us used to think transition was something happening between two binary poles --  well, it's not! There is this vast field in front of you with many different poles or nodes and you can trace out a journey between them that's individual to you.

I personally am ftm and would like to transition that-a-way, but even then I find it reassuring that masculinity too is a spectrum and that I have my individual journey ahead of me.

We have a top surgery board in the ftm section by the way, just in case you need some info and support in that department .

Oh, do you have pronoun preferences? (tapatalk doesn't show signatures, so sorry if I missed anything!)

[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hello... I'm EB. I found this forum several years ago and loved reading everyone's posts but I was too scared to join in... My therapist suggested I get involved with the LGBT community to feel less excluded day-to-day in my particular area of the planet. I'm androgyne / non-binary. When I was about 3 or 4 I asked my parents when I would turn into a boy and they said that wouldn't happen - so I cried. After that I would swing to super feminine (as I absorbed it from tv), and masculine of center. Things got complicated when I was abused pre-teen and then bullied by that person for years afterward. So, I've had some questions about where and what my identity is separate from the hate that was forced on me.

Things only recently got better after I met my mate and I told my family about pretty much everything and started therapy for a lot of issues. Meds are the bomb. haha  I'm doing a lot better now and my mate says he's ok with me having top surgery someday. Hopefully, that will happen. It inspires me with confidence to know there are others out there who are like me: not in any box in particular but happy and wanting a partial transition to androgynous. Sometimes I wonder if I should be "extreme" in some direction, so I try.... but then I always come back to myself. Learning that that's a thing and not just "nothing".

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post - just wanted to say thank you all for being a part of this forum. I've learned a lot by reading about non-binarianism (?) and how it's all ok.

[melon_lord]

Hello there,

My name is Del and I'm a gender non-conforming/agender trans person. I used to post on Susan's a lot in high school (this is actually the place that helped me figure out I was trans & I would be pretty active on here when I went on testosterone temporarily a few years back), and have recently lost connection to a lot of local community support places because of work/school/caring for my partner taking up most of my time and also because I was staff at the only LGBT center in my hometown for several years (way too uncomfortable to seek support at a place I was getting paid to support clients at...also a much longer/complicated story). Anyhow, I am looking forward to being able to chat with y'all when I have the downtime - even just reading people's stories is a huge relief to me during rough times & I am happy to reach out when I can. I am hoping I can process some things while I am here... I have been dealing with a lot of dysphoria lately and am trying to figure out the best way to navigate that while keeping in mind that I have to be conscious about my ongoing medical challenges and the spaces where it is not exactly safe for me to be out in. Struggles aside, I am actively pursuing my passion in animation and visual storytelling both inside/outside of school, and am trying to become fluent in ASL.

-Del

[suzifrommd]

Hello there,

My name is Del and I'm a gender non-conforming/agender trans person.

Welcome back, Del. Good to have you back here. 

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

[ERROR: gender undefined;]

Thank you so much everyone for welcoming me in. I just had a particularly difficult time tonight with my local community and feeling alien from them... It's literally life-saving - I'm sure to others than myself, too - to have a community online. Thank you so much.

Pronouns are something I've thought about - in a perfect world, they/them/their would be cool. I recently read an article on how "you" used to be plural and "thee" was singular. Nytimes I think.

I'm really, really, really, truly grateful for this place... I can't express how much.

[Tessa James]

Thank you so much everyone for welcoming me in. I just had a particularly difficult time tonight with my local community and feeling alien from them... It's literally life-saving - I'm sure to others than myself, too - to have a community online. Thank you so much.

Pronouns are something I've thought about - in a perfect world, they/them/their would be cool. I recently read an article on how "you" used to be plural and "thee" was singular. Nytimes I think.

I'm really, really, really, truly grateful for this place... I can't express how much.

Hey EB it is good to have you around.  Alien was a word I formerly used to describe myself when I concluded that nobody could possibly feel like this.  It is nice to be wrong sometimes lol. 

[apoth29gamer]

Hello everyone.  I've been lurking here for some time, and I figured that I'd finally step out into the light.  These boards have been hugely helpful in coming to terms with a few things, so before I launch into the "this is who I am" thing, I wanted to say thank you.  Thank you so very much.

/takes mental breath and jumps in.

I am a 41 year old active duty service member.  A medic, to be precise.  It's only recently that I've finally been able to come to terms with who I am, and who I want to be.  I am MAAB with a definite desire to be more feminine.  At this stage right now, the term genderqueer applies rather well to me.  I'm bisexual as well, and have had wonderful relationships I'll always treasure.   I know I want to express myself as more feminine than I can right now, and have begun to take small steps to at least presenting as more gender neutral. 

I've always known that something was "off" about me, but I was raised in a very conservative religious home and sent to private religious schools.  So, you can imagine how the one conversation I dared to have with someone about that ended up.  I buried it deep and hid it away, thinking that it would eventually go away. 

Transitioning fully is not something I can do right now.  I've built a nice military career, of which I am approaching the tail end.  50% of my base pay for the rest of my life is not something to throw away lightly.  On top of that, being outed as any kind of transgender is grounds for dismissal from service here in America.  I've managed to hide this for so long, but it's true what they say:  it does get worse the older one gets. 

These boards have been a wonderful source of comfort for me.  Coupled with a couple of very discreet doctors, they've helped to make thing a little more bearable.  I'm looking forward to talking with you more in the future!