Non-Binary Introductions

[suzifrommd]

Namaste,

My name is Caine/Josie (M/F); I've been questioning my gender since High school (c. 2011 [graduated in 2012]) and identify as Non-binary while attempting a rational outlook on whether or not I want to begin HRT. I've been looking at the pros & cons and currently do not have any long-term plans though a Low-dose treatment sounds like a good idea a

As far as short-term plans I'm moving abodes at the end of the month so once I get situated and finished with a job-hunt, I'm going to get a blood test (Hormone level) as I've been curious as to whether or not that has to do with the thoughts I've been having as of late (regarding my doubts and what-not.)

Anyways...

I'll look forward to posting here more in the future.

Sincerely,
Caine/Josie

Hi Caine/Josie. Welcome to Susan's. 

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[MxJuly1991]

Why is considered a sticky topic, I wonder... Is because the very essence of non-binary goes beyond what most cis-gender people know about the 2 primary genders (man/woman)?

At any rate, my birth name- the name the world knows me as- is Jamie. I guess hence my username I go by Mx. July on here also. Everyone can call me by either name. I'm just happy, blessed I guess, my parents, male or female, would've named me with the same unisex name. The gender label I've been using for a few years now, really because it's one of the first I came across that really described my gender identity the best, is genderqueer. But I've started wondering if maybe I should reexamine that label. Like maybe instead I'm agender, or pangender, or bigender- one is as good as the next.
All I know is my gender identity is most definitely not male nor is female. If I'm a combination of male & female, or a member of the third gender or third sex I've come across. Except for my brain, I'm physically & biologically utterly female (or "flea-male" as I sometimes jokingly say).

Beyond gender, I am a 23 year old coffee-drinking, vegetarian, fantastically creative, pansexual-demisexual working in the veterinary field. With a love of all things horror, & utterly clueless why I've always disliked the taste of cinnamon roles.

I've been actively questioning my gender since about 2007, or maybe 2008. But when I was little, as far as I know, I willingly & even chose to wear dresses all the time when I was little; & I have no memory if I actively expressed persistent dislike with my physical self (I mean, other than dislike with being overweight).

Currently, I'm trying to narrow down a list of possible names in order to eventually change my name to something more gender neutral. Along with looking for a mental health counselor that specializes in transgender issues.

Oh, & backstory behind my username: it's kind of a moniker of like "Miss USA" or "Miss [insert state name here]". I came across "Mx" yesterday as an apparent gender neutral form of "Mr" or "Mrs". And basically, the July & 1991 is a reference to my birth date. So... I'm Mr/Miss July of 1991 (my full "title").

This is me in a nutshell.

[gement]

Hello, I'm Gement, and I've had my eye on this place for a looooooong time. Since 1999, maybe?

I'm currently 36, genderqueer, they/them/their pronouns, and Mx. Gement. About the only gendered noun I'm really comfortable with is prince, so if you want a royal honorific for me, I hope that's helpful.

It's been a long slow shift from presenting as geek girl to switching on "guy mode" for specific periods of time to presenting as whatever the hell I am now. I don't expect that shift is over. I make barbers cut my hair like Captain America.

But not like Captain America would cut hair, because I think Steve Rogers would suck at barbering.

My personal internal word for my gender is Birdplane* because it just seems like I have too much gender going on at any one time. No matter how I'm presenting, there's another gender knocking in the back of my brain, yelling, "Hey, don't forget I'm a _____ too!"; it's only gotten louder with age.

I've finally signed up for the forums because some rapidly dividing cells in my left mammary have suddenly made top surgery a non-optional part of my future! So I'll be over in the Transsexual FtM forum looking for medical information, but I hope some nonbinary folks will join me there to discuss some of the more... GQ-specific aspects of my situation.

*Birdplane is a song by Axis of Awesome parodying the angsty 90s song Superman: "I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane... I'M A BIRDPLANE!"

[Tessa James]

Why is considered a sticky topic, I wonder... Is because the very essence of non-binary goes beyond what most cis-gender people know about the 2 primary genders (man/woman)?

At any rate, my birth name- the name the world knows me as- is Jamie. I guess hence my username I go by Mx. July on here also. Everyone can call me by either name. I'm just happy, blessed I guess, my parents, male or female, would've named me with the same unisex name. The gender label I've been using for a few years now, really because it's one of the first I came across that really described my gender identity the best, is genderqueer. But I've started wondering if maybe I should reexamine that label. Like maybe instead I'm agender, or pangender, or bigender- one is as good as the next.
All I know is my gender identity is most definitely not male nor is female. If I'm a combination of male & female, or a member of the third gender or third sex I've come across. Except for my brain, I'm physically & biologically utterly female (or "flea-male" as I sometimes jokingly say).

Beyond gender, I am a 23 year old coffee-drinking, vegetarian, fantastically creative, pansexual-demisexual working in the veterinary field. With a love of all things horror, & utterly clueless why I've always disliked the taste of cinnamon roles.

I've been actively questioning my gender since about 2007, or maybe 2008. But when I was little, as far as I know, I willingly & even chose to wear dresses all the time when I was little; & I have no memory if I actively expressed persistent dislike with my physical self (I mean, other than dislike with being overweight).

Currently, I'm trying to narrow down a list of possible names in order to eventually change my name to something more gender neutral. Along with looking for a mental health counselor that specializes in transgender issues.

Oh, & backstory behind my username: it's kind of a moniker of like "Miss USA" or "Miss [insert state name here]". I came across "Mx" yesterday as an apparent gender neutral form of "Mr" or "Mrs". And basically, the July & 1991 is a reference to my birth date. So... I'm Mr/Miss July of 1991 (my full "title").

This is me in a nutshell.

Welcome to the non binary area and happy birthday MxJuly.  We can trust your creativity to be well used and inspired.  Best of luck finding a therapist and a new name.

[Tessa James]

Hello, I'm Gement, and I've had my eye on this place for a looooooong time. Since 1999, maybe?

I'm currently 36, genderqueer, they/them/their pronouns, and Mx. Gement. About the only gendered noun I'm really comfortable with is prince, so if you want a royal honorific for me, I hope that's helpful.

It's been a long slow shift from presenting as geek girl to switching on "guy mode" for specific periods of time to presenting as whatever the hell I am now. I don't expect that shift is over. I make barbers cut my hair like Captain America.

But not like Captain America would cut hair, because I think Steve Rogers would suck at barbering.

My personal internal word for my gender is Birdplane* because it just seems like I have too much gender going on at any one time. No matter how I'm presenting, there's another gender knocking in the back of my brain, yelling, "Hey, don't forget I'm a _____ too!"; it's only gotten louder with age.

I've finally signed up for the forums because some rapidly dividing cells in my left mammary have suddenly made top surgery a non-optional part of my future! So I'll be over in the Transsexual FtM forum looking for medical information, but I hope some nonbinary folks will join me there to discuss some of the more... GQ-specific aspects of my situation.

*Birdplane is a song by Axis of Awesome parodying the angsty 90s song Superman: "I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane... I'M A BIRDPLANE!"

Since 1999?  You're really a long time lurker!   Wishing you the best exploration and recovery Gement.

[BirlPower]

Hi All,

This is my first post and I'd like to start by thanking all you wonderful people for making this place what it is. I've been lurking here for some months now (around 6 I think) and even just reading your stories has changed my life for the better.

I started cross-dressing five years or so ago. I thought it was just sexual perversion at first. It turned me on. I soon discovered that I didn't want to take the clothes off. The first time I put a skirt on over tights felt like "coming home". It was very confusing at the time because I do not identify as female. My ony experience with trans* anything was some TV documentaries about people fully transitioning and I knew that wasn't me. I like my male characteristics, body, strength, the whole male privelidge thing and I have no dysporia other than clothing. Over time I wanted to wear the clothes all the time. I feel sexy in womens clothes but it just feels really comfortable now rather than sexual. I fully understand now what cis girls mean when they talk about dressing nicely for themselves, rather than for atracting others. I feel like that.

By lurking here I learned about non-binary identity and as soon as I read about that it switched a light on for me. I'm still learning about myself but I'm leaning towards genderqueer though I would prefer to present female simply because it is easier. I'm lazy and a coward and would prefer not to explain to everyone I meet what I am. I still exclusively present as male outside the house though I have been wearing tights and panties under my girls jeans and bodies under my shirts(some male, some female depending on what I'm doing) for some years now and it feels great.

I'd love to go out en femme but I'm too scared. My wife is trying to accept it but it really turns her off and I think she is very embarassed about other people finding out. She does come clothes shopping with me though and I can put things I want into her basket and she buys them on my behalf (see.. lazy coward haha). I'm finding this really easy now, I've even tried girl trousers on in a changing room and the staff didn't bat an eylid. I was fully male at the time. Bought most of my clothes from "a well known internet auction site". Once I figured out my size, that has worked really well for me. Bought some lemons but also some really beautiful things that I adore. It was all really cheap so the bargains more than make up for the failures. The local charity shops are always grateful for the failures LOL.

The oddest thing with wifey is that I can dress extremely femme in leggings or girl trousers and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I even get some nice attention on occasion. Skirts and dresses though make her really uncomfortable. I could be disappointed in this but I feel grateful for her love and tolerance. We've been together over 30 years and I know she didn't sign up for this. I feel really lucky that she hasn't run a mile. I think there is a good chance we'll make it in the long run. Especially as I (currently, I've learned from here to keep an open mind about the future) have no desire to change my body. I love wearing silicon augments under the dresses to make me look proper femme but I also like to be able to switch back and be completely male. Wife is even more uncomfortable with the breasts  and hips though so I keep those for when she isn't around. It isn't a huge deal to me but it means a lot to her so it is easy for me to compromise on this.

That's enough about me for now. You are all such wonderful and special people and I feel privileged to have found you all. I'm reluctant to single individuals out as you are all so wonderful but I feel I must thank Cindy, Mariah2014 and Stephaniec for the work they do here. You guys pop up in almost every thread and are a support and inspiration to everyone. I'd also like to mention Jessie Ann and iKate for sharing their experiences. You are both such an inspiration to me and others. Finally I'd like to mention Amber roksamp and Beth Andrea. You showed me it doesn't have to be all or nothing. We can find the place on the spectrum that is right for us and the world can "like it or lump it".

Sorry if I didn't mention you. There are too many exceptional and inspiring people here to mention you all. I hope i get to say nice things to you all eventually as I participate in this lovely community.

I've lurked for ages and have read all the introductory stuff. I hope in time I can repay the help i've had from you by supporting and encouraging others.

Thank you all for being here.

Can't decide on a name. Hoping to post pictures soon. Maybe some of you can help me with suggestions then?

Love B

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's Place BirlPower.   That's a very nice introduction with personal sharing and recognition.  A non binary identity has "switched a light on" for many of us and is a welcome place to call home.  There are probably a greater number of crossdressers than any other category under the trans umbrella.  We know many guys who remain comfortable with a lifetime of CDing while working and being male most of the time.  Some folks are able to find a plateau that makes sense in their life.

We look forward to hearing and seeing more from you by any name.

[BirlPower]

Thanks for the kind words Tessa, I have been really touched and inspired by how open so many of you are. It made a difference to me and I now would like to give something back. You can't do that if you keep all the good bits to yourself.

I'd like to clarify how Susan's has helped me. When I first found this haven of reason and sanity, I often felt like a pervy freak. Reading your stories I soon realised that I was as normal and valid as anyone else. I didn't need to justify myself. I could just be me and it was OK. This gave me the courage to come out to my daughters. Two of the proudest moments of my life. The first was an "accident". She was off school with flu. Sleeping upstairs. She walked in on me fully dressed. I'd forgotten she was home. She didn't skip a beat. No reaction at all. "The internet isn't working dad." and that was it. I was out. The second I said "Would it freak you out if you saw me around the house in a dress or skirt?" She replied "Why would it? It is none of my business. As long as you're happy dad."
I was dreading the school holidays before but it has been great. They are my staunchest allies. They bullied my wife into letting me dress more freely. I was astonished, touched and proud of them when my wife told me about this. They are twins. Almost 15. They assure me no-one they know at school would care in the slightest. They give me hope that future generations will not only tolerate us but just see us as part of the human spectrum and just people. It will probably be with them if/when I finally venture out into the world as me.

So in real concrete ways my life is much better and happier since finding you all. Thank you all for being here.

Love B

[Tessa James]

Hey B you must be doing some great parenting for your twin girls to support and care for you so well.  Congratulations for that significant coming out event(s).  Nice to picture you hand in hand, flanked by family and walking tall.

Yes, I too had that sense of being a pervy freak or at least from another planet since no one I knew felt like I did way back then.  Only wish the internet and places like this had existed earlier in our lives;-)

Like You I am hopeful about our future as my daughter and granddaughters are part of that more aware and accepting generation.

[BirlPower]

Hey Tessa, The future's so bright, I might need to borrow your shades.

[Oliver A]

Hello! I'm Oli, and I found this place about a week ago, while looking for any forums where I could learn more about androgyny. I was born in a female body, but I'm aiming towards an intermediate figure (50% male, 50% female). My story isn't that long or complicated because I discovered androgyny very early in life and also because I'm in the very first steps of transition (I'm 18).

Since I was a kid I never liked most part of those clothes/behaviours/roles associated with the feminine figure. In fact, I always felt like I had a connection with people who I would identify as "girls who dress like boys" and "boys who dress like girls". Later on, when I was introduced to the label "androgyny", I started picturing how my life would be if I were one of them, if I started introducing myself as an androgyne. But all of this was just in my imagination, because I'm very attached to my family in the worst ways I could possibly be. They choose the clothes I wear, my haircut, the way I talk, where should I study, work... everything. Until this year, when I decided that it was time to embrace my indentity and express it to the world.
Actually, is not as simple as I said. In fact, I'm still trying to convince myself that being who I am isn't dangerous, but I'm really scared that if anyone calls me Oli in front of my family, or if I cut my hair and stop wearing makeup, they'll stop liking me and approving the things I do. I wanna be succesful and free, but I also want them close to me.
All of that combines with my own conflicts. I keep refering to myself as "she" even in the places I present myself as Oliver (internet), and in places where I still use my birth name (rest of the world), I feel terrible because of the way people look at me when I associate myself with tipically masculine clothes/behaviours.

I think that's it! I apologize if I made any mistakes while writing this, english isn't my first language (I'm brazilian!). Feel free to tell me if I'm doing anything (or everything) wrong, I'll appreciate that.

[Tessa James]

Hello! I'm Oli, and I found this place about a week ago, while looking for any forums where I could learn more about androgyny. I was born in a female body, but I'm aiming towards an intermediate figure (50% male, 50% female). My story isn't that long or complicated because I discovered androgyny very early in life and also because I'm in the very first steps of transition (I'm 18).

Welcome Oli, how fun to have another international friend.  You sound well prepared for exploring androgyny, asserting yourself and singing your own tune.  I found that living a more androgynous life was good for me but complicated for others to understand.  Lots of people just assumed I was gay and that was Ok for me too.  As a kid some of my early friends were tomboys and I wanted to be one too.

It is common here to recognize the challenges of being simply yourself in a world that seems to enshrine the hyper gender binary with HE Man dudes and princess models everywhere.  Many of us walk a fine line between family and self acceptance.  I trust you will find many people here who feel like you do. 

[Oliver A]

Hey Tessa, thanks for everything. Your kind words made my day! In my case, I shouldn't really expect people to understand me, because all of this is too complicated for me as well.

I sometimes struggle because my personality is really feminine, so I can't pass even if I wear a completely masculine outfit. It also breaks me because it feels like this personality is not my real one. Have you ever felt like you're dressed with something and no matter how hard you try you can't take it off?

[Tessa James]

Hey Tessa, thanks for everything. Your kind words made my day! In my case, I shouldn't really expect people to understand me, because all of this is too complicated for me as well.

I sometimes struggle because my personality is really feminine, so I can't pass even if I wear a completely masculine outfit. It also breaks me because it feels like this personality is not my real one. Have you ever felt like you're dressed with something and no matter how hard you try you can't take it off?

Oh Yes!  That is why I try not to be upset if someone misgenders me.  It took me way too long to figure myself out and in the meantime I developed a personality that had a lot to do with coping rather than being assertive about who I am.  While I may wish my appearance fit perfectly I have transitioned to being much closer to my real self. 

You are smart to be working on this as a younger person who can take advantage of some people and practices that have been better established.  I hope you give your self a break and take heart in knowing the real you can shine thru!

[Oliver A]

I don't really know what to say... thank you for such good advice [emoji5]

[Scrawlix]

'Ello!

I am 30 and married to a cishet man. I have just recently begun to identify as a bisexual who just learned about the term neutrois. I was beginning to identify as gender queer but that didn't seem quite the term to describe what I feel towards myself. I don't feel like a female. I don't feel like a male. I feel like ... I don't know- just not those things. (Does that make sense)

I talked to a childhood friend about it and she said that looking back, she could understand why I would feel that I am genderless because it was rare for me to have any classic gender traits. My husband knows about me questioning my gender and he supports my decisions, talking about in the vague future there even being a top surgery if that was what I wanted.

Anywhoodles. *doffs hat* Nice to meet you all!

[Devlyn]

'Ello!

I am 30 and married to a cishet man. I have just recently begun to identify as a bisexual who just learned about the term neutrois. I was beginning to identify as gender queer but that didn't seem quite the term to describe what I feel towards myself. I don't feel like a female. I don't feel like a male. I feel like ... I don't know- just not those things. (Does that make sense)

I talked to a childhood friend about it and she said that looking back, she could understand why I would feel that I am genderless because it was rare for me to have any classic gender traits. My husband knows about me questioning my gender and he supports my decisions, talking about in the vague future there even being a top surgery if that was what I wanted.

Anywhoodles. *doffs hat* Nice to meet you all!

Perfect sense, it's exactly what I say about myself. I'm definitely somewhere in between and happy about it.    Welcome to Susan's Place, I'll be seeing you around!

Hugs, Devlyn

[mxwerewoof]

I hope I'm doing this right!

Hi I'm Jay, I identify as a transmasculine genderqueer person.  I'm dfab and am on HRT, that being testosterone.
I'm bad at intros but I wanted to make some cause honestly I don't have many nb friends at all... and it's lonely not being able to talk to people about something that is so big and influential in my life.

I have bad clinical depression as well so often I can get down about being trans. I also have bad social anxiety so it's tough for me to make friends. But I'd really like to!

I'm trying to work on my self acceptance and stuff, being more positive about myself and getting more self confidence.

I hope this will be a place where I can make some good friends and talk about nb issues that bug me too.

Oh ya just some last things about me, I love cats and cartoons, in fact I'm an animation student haha.

Thanks for reading! 

[suzifrommd]

I hope I'm doing this right!

Hi I'm Jay, I identify as a transmasculine genderqueer person.  I'm dfab and am on HRT, that being testosterone.

Hi Jay. Welcome to Susan's. 

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

I've met a lot of friends here and people who have a lot in common with me. I hope it works the same for you.

[mxwerewoof]

Thanks, Suzi! Ya I hope to make some new friends and learn about others!