Non-Binary Introductions

[jamie-lee]

Hi there

I'm Jamie, I'm non-binary, I think like an man, feel 70% man and 30% woman, I suppose, and I'm FAAB. My outside... still working on it. I'm working on expressing myself in a more masculine manner than I used to. I'm happy being female, but I'm trying to make myself more androgynous, tomboyish, make use of some menswear and so on, live it as a tomboy really, take on a masculine role, because it matches who I am on the inside more. I'm figuring it out. I think what would suit me would be like... having a men's job and dressing rather masculine-androgynous usually, and hanging out with men, and expressing femininity sometimes in hobbies, dressing this way once in a blue moon.

[Tessa James]

Hey Jamie-lee, I am happy to welcome you to the non binary section of the Place and a space for discussions that don't fit so well in the two traditional gender boxes we check off as we go through life.  I am a big fan of cultures from our past and, some currently, that consider the time around puberty to be when a person actually selects/confirms a name, gender identity, totem and other trappings of maturing adulthood.  Sometimes associated with a journey but frequently a sacred sort of ritual is involved.

For us it may be a less celebrated event but still an awareness that may strike us as fulfilling our more genuine gender identity.  I felt more like an androgynous and tomboyish person as a teenager and adult and want all of us to have the freedom to simply be ourselves. 

I applaud your strength and determination to self identify without the need to remain a FAAB or any other label.  Terms like butch, boi and grrl give my spell check fits but sure do feel better for some of us.

[Tommy K]

Hey there! I'm "Tommy" (not real name, but I'm stealth male in reality), genderqueer. He/they pronouns are both fine. Whilst I'm genderqueer, I do want to pursue medical transition. So - shh - don't tell the clinic! I present as male day-to-day, but often go to gigs and clubs in ambiguous clothing. Possibly the best moment of my recent life was going to a club dressed as a girl, throwing my wig off at the end, and getting squeals and shouts of, "you make a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy!". I answered, "so I get the genderqueer seal of approval?", to more whoops and general cheering. That was a fantastic night.

[Tessa James]

Hey there! I'm "Tommy" (not real name, but I'm stealth male in reality), genderqueer. He/they pronouns are both fine. Whilst I'm genderqueer, I do want to pursue medical transition. So - shh - don't tell the clinic! I present as male day-to-day, but often go to gigs and clubs in ambiguous clothing. Possibly the best moment of my recent life was going to a club dressed as a girl, throwing my wig off at the end, and getting squeals and shouts of, "you make a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy!". I answered, "so I get the genderqueer seal of approval?", to more whoops and general cheering. That was a fantastic night.

Oh that does sound like delicious fun!  Some folks are challenging the entire gender identity and medical treatment regimen and narrative.  I attended a big Portland Q Center meeting where the first and 2nd person ever to be identified as "non binary" by the courts told their stories.  Some genderqueer or non binary folks are getting HRT even as they tell their personal identity truth.  Progress and change are happening!   

[Drexy/Drex]

Mmm hi I think I qualify  prob
50% male 50% female I'm not sure maybe more female though I'm leaning towards female more now that I've learnt a bit  about all this enough that iwant hrt and ffs
But you know sometimes I just feel
' I am ' not anything im just here like an observer not any gender then some where a switch flicks and im male or female pretending to be male.but a lot of the time
I just feel like "i am " .admitted to myself that I must be transgender.....but I have a choice ot seems though I have this deep impulse to become 95% female

[Tessa James]

Mmm hi I think I qualify  prob
50% male 50% female I'm not sure maybe more female though I'm leaning towards female more now that I've learnt a bit  about all this enough that iwant hrt and ffs
But you know sometimes I just feel
' I am ' not anything im just here like an observer not any gender then some where a switch flicks and im male or female pretending to be male.but a lot of the time
I just feel like "i am " .admitted to myself that I must be transgender.....but I have a choice ot seems though I have this deep impulse to become 95% female

Welcome to the non binary section and it certainly is appropriate to be an observer and just be yourself with or without a switch or certain definitions.  Lots of room here

[Drexy/Drex]

Mmmm thanks this is all so interesting

[genderlessjolyne]

hello i am ludo i am 0% any gender

i made an intro in the main intro thing but

i like video games, jojo's bizarre adventure, and moral and philosophical critiques of cartoons

[MxEnby]

I'm not into giving too much info about me away here, but you can call me Mx. E. I'm 25, live in the UK and am closeted nonbinary, preferring the terms bigender, androgyne and genderqueer as I consider myself falling somewhere inbetween male and female.

I've been confused about my gender  since I was 5, when I began crossdressing and acting out roles of the "opposite" gender. Later on, I found I wanted to transition to inbetween rather than to the opposite end of the spectrum. Even though I'm closeted, I am giving cues in that I wear androgynous clothing (for example, a masculine shirt and trousers and feminine jewellery) and an androgynous hairstyle, and recently started using a gender-neutral name in some circumstances.

Anyway, I hope to contribute plenty to the lively discussions going on around here, and will see you around 

[LizK]

Hi Mxenby

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here. I can see you joined into a couple of threads already and that is great to see. Welcome and enjoy

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Regards

Liz

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
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[Tessa James]

I want to add another warm Welcome to a couple of Newbies and also support their self identification.  I lived for a long time as a androgynous person with very long hair, feminine jewelry and more.  Most people who I worked with simply considered me eccentric and gay.  They got it half right anyway

[Little Johnny]

Hello! 19, male/genderqueer, he/they, queer in the wider sense. 

[Tessa James]

Hey Little Johnny Welcome to the Place!  I like your style and forthright declarations.  It seems to me that there are more and more guys coming out theses days and being queer is a indeed a wider catch-all term we have "taken back"  I have felt some degree of queer all my life and recall that the term Transgender was not even coined until 1963.

I hope your journey will soon include a more accepting family and trust you know what you want.  See ya around the site.

[RedfootDaddy]

Been working up the nerve to write this post since last night (I filled out the captcha first because that was easier than writing).

I think if there's anywhere I could say "my gender is " and not have to explain it, it would be here. And yet I still hesitate. I hesitate to call myself trans, because I don't face a lot of the same problems or fears that "real" trans* people do. I hesitate to call myself butch because I've been rejected from that community. I hesitate to use they/them pronouns because having to explain it seems to daunting. I hesitate to basically do anything but be a butch gay woman because of . . . well, lots of stuff. SO I don't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't know what I can do to fix it because I don't really have a clear picture of the end goal. So I feel like I don't belong in places like this until I do.

But I am very glad to have found this site, through my brother who I am so proud of for embracing his true gender-divergent self.

So back to lurking and reading, I guess.

[Tessa James]

Hey RfD,  Welcome to Susan's and please don't hesitate to share, communicate, ask questions and chat with us.  I am one of those who found a million reasons why I could not be trans and then after finally getting clear eyed about my gender i only wish I had faced it more squarely long ago.  Another truth is that there is only one of YOU, your unique narrative and real life need not align with anyone else or carry any specific label.  A voyage of self discover awaits us throwing off the anchors of our past.  See you around.

[EyesOpen]

I think if there's anywhere I could say "my gender is " and not have to explain it, it would be here. And yet I still hesitate. I hesitate to call myself trans, because I don't face a lot of the same problems or fears that "real" trans* people do. I hesitate to call myself butch because I've been rejected from that community. I hesitate to use they/them pronouns because having to explain it seems to daunting. I hesitate to basically do anything but be a butch gay woman because of . . . well, lots of stuff. SO I don't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't know what I can do to fix it because I don't really have a clear picture of the end goal. So I feel like I don't belong in places like this until I do.

I'm glad you posted And I'm pretty sure you belong here as much as anyone else. This stuff is hard to figure out. Feeling at odds with my own history, learned personas, and the expectations from others drives me crazy sometimes and I completely understand the feeling of not belonging, well, anywhere. You know our families (portions of them anyway!) are here for you anytime that you're struggling <3

And screw people who bicker about labels. They're not worth the trouble IMO. We are who we are, and people who expect us to fit their pre-conceived notion of who we are instead of learning about and appreciating the reality of it aren't worth spending time on. (Now, if only I could follow my own advice here...sigh.)

But I am very glad to have found this site, through my brother who I am so proud of for embracing his true gender-divergent self.

<3

So back to lurking and reading, I guess.

That's what I've been doing for a few weeks, and it's done wonders for my ability to feel 'ok' with myself. We're not so weird and/or alone after all

[Dena]

RedfootDaddy, many of the people here are still trying to find a label that fits so being unsure of what to call yourself isn't an issue here. You have questions about yourself and this may be the place that has the answers so that is reason enough to be a member here.

I often greet people in introductions much like you so you are not the first to join the site without a clear path and you will be far from the last. I suggest you ask questions when you have them so you can learn from others who feel much like you. I suspect the answers you seek will be found here but it may take some time so enjoy the site.

[RedfootDaddy]

Another truth is that there is only one of YOU, your unique narrative and real life need not align with anyone else or carry any specific label.  A voyage of self discover awaits us throwing off the anchors of our past.  See you around.

Thank you for the warm welcome  - I love that phrase you used. Anchors away!

[RedfootDaddy]

I often greet people in introductions much like you so you are not the first to join the site without a clear path and you will be far from the last. I suggest you ask questions when you have them so you can learn from others who feel much like you. I suspect the answers you seek will be found here but it may take some time so enjoy the site.

Thank you so much. I'm just dipping my toe in, but there is already so much discussion and different points of view. I've definitely fallen down a rabbithole here (and then there was the link someone posted to everydayfeminism - another rabbithole . . .)

[jamie-lee]

Hey Jamie-lee, I am happy to welcome you to the non binary section of the Place and a space for discussions that don't fit so well in the two traditional gender boxes we check off as we go through life.  I am a big fan of cultures from our past and, some currently, that consider the time around puberty to be when a person actually selects/confirms a name, gender identity, totem and other trappings of maturing adulthood.  Sometimes associated with a journey but frequently a sacred sort of ritual is involved.

For us it may be a less celebrated event but still an awareness that may strike us as fulfilling our more genuine gender identity.  I felt more like an androgynous and tomboyish person as a teenager and adult and want all of us to have the freedom to simply be ourselves. 

I applaud your strength and determination to self identify without the need to remain a FAAB or any other label.  Terms like butch, boi and grrl give my spell check fits but sure do feel better for some of us.

I haven't replied yet? Impossible. Better late than never, though

Hi and thanks a lot, I don't know what more to say Ha ha, I like to think about cutting my hair short as of a sign of maturation. I sorta feel like that two-spirit person, but I'm hesitant to use that. But I hope you get what I mean. During those couple of months, I gave up somewhat on expressing myself in a more masculine manner, it feels somewhat limiting to me. But at the same time, it's funny, I can't get rid of being read as a dude from time to time. Maybe it's the hair, I don't know. But I don't come across as "normal" any longer, I think. Who we are is not something we can lose. It's a journey of becoming confident and getting to know that the crux is self-acceptance, not the exterior.