Non-Binary Introductions

[Sno]

Sal,
Before birth, we are given a quest, to challenge our assumptions, find our own place and path. Your journey has begun with the big question - what am I, now that I know a little of who I am?

As your journey continues, and your questions continue, will you find some of your answers - you will know them well, as they will fit comfortably, as an extension of you, and we're happy to be at the beginning of 'In the beginning' with you.

Welcome.

Rowan

[Jacqueline]

Hello, I'm ENC.
I've been identifying as non-binary for a couple of years now, but have been only been able to tell a few people.
While I've cycled through various identities, I always go back to non-binary. I don't feel like a girl, but not a boy either, I just feel like me.
I like to film, write , and read comic books.
I hope that one day I'll be able to further feel alright in my own skin and surround  myself with people I feel safe with.

Hi ENC,

Welcome to the site.

Sorry this welcome is so late. I was away for quite a while.

Thanks for sharing all that personal information.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

[Raell]

I'm a 64-year-old, non-transitioning nonbinary partial transmale, who lives as an androgyne.

I'm also on the asexual spectrum-demisexual and panromantic.

I am currently living in southern Thailand, but planning to return to the US ASAP for serious health reasons.

I lean heavily toward male behavior although I look like a delicate female.

My interests and hobbies are many; extreme bird and wildlife photography, training horses for trail riding and driving and doing so, designing and sewing comfortable action clothing and underwear, writing, illustrating, astronomy, physics, making new inventions to assist in my birding activities, reading, traveling, swimming, linguistics, music.

I speak/read six languages, but not all fluently, or at the same level. I've lived in Haiti, Mexico, at least nine states in the US, and taught ESL in Thailand since 2010. I have taught part-time in two universities in KY.

I have two grown children in the US-a boy and a girl, and the girl has also traveled extensively and speaks several other languages, including Austrian and Japanese.

My personality is obsessive and high energy.

This is me, jumping a log on my Walking Horse, Banjo, near Soldier, KY, followed by my rescue chow mix, Shaney, Nov. 2005. Banjo was also a rescue-an abused show horse who was terrified of people when I bought him.

[Jacqueline]

Hi I'm Jeff/Jessie.  I'm 61.  I'm bi-sexual in that I enjoy having sex with my wife as a man and as a woman with my boyfriend.  When I'm making love with my boyfriend I truly feel with my imagination that I am a woman and I have a vagina.  With my wife I'm all man.
I'm going to go through hrt for breast growth, feminine curves and hopefully a tamer sex drive and calmer mind.  I don't want to have srs and don't mind having a penis, but if I wasn't married to such a wonderful wife, I would probably want a vagina.  I have tried several herbal breast enhancement programs with limited success.
My wife knows of my desires and is mostly okay with it.  But enjoys sex as much as I do with each other.  She knows my boyfriend and is okay with us having sex together.
I'm hoping for nice breast development and curves but I understand at my age not as much will happen as if I was younger. 
I want at least a bit of me to be the woman I am also.  But hope to present as a male mostly.  Am Will I become more feminine as I go ..I hope so, but also want to be male.

Hi Jeff/Jesse,

Long wait for you to get a welcome not. Sorry but here it is.

Thanks for sharing you experiences with us. I hope we are able to support and help you.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please [remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.

I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site. It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

[OblivionLight]

I just realised I never posted in here, so here goes.

I'm Alex, and even though I identified as agender for some 5-6 years, I'm now slowly setting on demimale, because it fits much better with how I feel (and kind of have always felt) than agender does. I'm starting to look up support groups in my city, and I do want to seek out a gender therapist eventually, because I know I want to transition to a degree and definitely have top surgery. I'm panromantic/pansexual, and I use both they/them and he/him pronouns.

I'm currently trying to figure out what makes me feel Good about myself, where I want to go and what I want to do appearance wise, but I'll figure it out in time. For many years I hid behind another label as to not.... bother with what was actually going on with me, I think mostly out of fear - fear of being rejected, fear of being judged etc. I have a LONG history with bullying, and as I was still in high school when I first started admitting to myself that I'm not a girl, I just wasn't ready for what could come with it. For a long time I was only out online anyway, far away from people I knew IRL. Although most of my current friends now are actually from high school and know I'm not female, it's still scary to think about coming out. I probably will sooner than later, though; they've been my friends for some five years now, it feels right to tell them.

Anyway! I love to read and write, I've been an avid roleplayer in the past on forums as well as Tumblr, though currently I only RP with my best friend through emails. I write short stories and bits and pieces of books I eventually want to write in my spare time, too. I like to sketch from time to time, love playing video games (RPGs and simulation games, mostly) and am also a huge music nerd. I play guitar (bass, electric and acoustic) and I have a CD collection of nearly 250 titles lol, that's not counting doubles from special editions or reissues or any singles I have on CD.

I'm fluent in two languages (Dutch and, obviously, English). I understand French and speak a decent amount, too, and I understand but don't speak German and Spanish. I also know very basic signs in both American Sign Language and Dutch Sign Language and know the hand alphabets of both.

A random fun fact about me is that I collect Coldplay singles, special editions of their albums etc, and plan to get a tattoo after one of their songs that means the absolute world to me.

[Tessa James]

Hello Oblivion Light,

Lots of people start their exploration of gender on line and some work it out through roll play too.  I'm sure you have plenty of company in these circles.  I offer you welcome and encouragement to share your literary talents with us.  Check out the "unicorn forest" here.  As a writer it might entice you? 

Fear and bullying are a too frequent part of many personal narratives we hear and know about.  So good to understand that you are working through the coming out with friends options.  I hope you enjoy your time here and that we get to know you even better.

[RomanViscera]

Hello, Im Roman.

Ive been nonbinary and out to friends and classmates for a few years now, but not to family. lately ive been leaning more towards masc presentation but i still love to wear makeup and occupy space as a genderless blob and have been steeling myself to try to come out to my family and start hrt, but thats slow going  hopefully soon!!

love the community here so far!!

[Tessa James]

Hey Roman, welcome aboard.  There are increasing numbers of Non Binary NB or enby people coming out.  Our presentations are wonderfully diverse and colorful.  We need no straight jackets or tired stereotypes.  We own our own life and make it what we will. 

When doing trans 101 training I remind folks that anatomy is not destiny and that we should assume nothing about a person's gender because of how we dress.  Enjoy yourself and set yourself free.  Why should't you wear make up and dress the way you wish?  The dominant social paradigms are falling all around us and good riddance.

Getting to know you as a person might take some time but you/we are worth it.

[RomanViscera]

Hey Roman, welcome aboard.  There are increasing numbers of Non Binary NB or enby people coming out.  Our presentations are wonderfully diverse and colorful.  We need no straight jackets or tired stereotypes.  We own our own life and make it what we will. 

When doing trans 101 training I remind folks that anatomy is not destiny and that we should assume nothing about a person's gender because of how we dress.  Enjoy yourself and set yourself free.  Why should't you wear make up and dress the way you wish?  The dominant social paradigms are falling all around us and good riddance.

Getting to know you as a person might take some time but you/we are worth it.

Thank you Tessa!! You are right, haha. I need to start learning to just go with the flow!! And yes, we definitely are all worth it!

[Dani Rae]

My name is Dani Rae. My pronouns are they/them/theirs or she/her/hers. I'm a genderqueer riot grrrl, a graduate student in a counseling program, and a musician. I play guitar, banjo, mandolin, and bass. Someday I hope to find the time to work on an album called A Queer and Pleasant Danger.

-Dani Rae

[Tessa James]

Hey Dani Rae,

I admire your educational and musical pursuits and love that album title too.  New to me identities are shared here all the time and I would love to learn more about being a genderqueer riot grrl if you care to tell more?
Welcome aboard the Place.

[Dani Rae]

Hey Dani Rae,
I admire your educational and musical pursuits and love that album title too.  New to me identities are shared here all the time and I would love to learn more about being a genderqueer riot grrl if you care to tell more?
Welcome aboard the Place.

Thanks Tessa. I can't really take credit for the album title as I took it from the title of Kate Bornstein's autobiography. As for the identity... I have tried on quite a few different labels since starting to question my gender, all falling under the nonbinary umbrella. I have used transfeminine in the past, which might be a bit more descriptive. I don't identify as either a man or a woman, but I feel more connected to femininity and present as feminine. So the genderqueer part denotes being outside of the binary and actively questioning gender. The riot grrrl movement was the synthesis of feminism and punk rock in during the 90's by bands like Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney, and Bratmobile. I've always been a punk rock kid. So riot grrrl speaks to the feminine aspect of myself, my musical self, and my beliefs.

[Tessa James]

Thank you Dani Rae,  I was a bit unsure about the riot part and considered it could be like our Pussy Riot sisters or a civil disobedience kind of thing

The more traditional binary narratives were an obstacle for me when I attempted a transition back in the 90s.  Just couldn't see where I fit and was basically told I didn't.  Now it feels more clear and accurate for folks like us to claim our unique place under the sun.  Gender free is one way I have been feeling lately and that feels good too.

  I don't identify as either a man or a woman, but I feel more connected to femininity and present as feminine. So the genderqueer part denotes being outside of the binary and actively questioning gender.

^^  This I share with you completely tho we are likely generations apart in age.  Rock on!

[Dani Rae]

The more traditional binary narratives were an obstacle for me when I attempted a transition back in the 90s.  Just couldn't see where I fit and was basically told I didn't.  Now it feels more clear and accurate for folks like us to claim our unique place under the sun.  Gender free is one way I have been feeling lately and that feels good too.

I am very grateful to the people that came before me that made it easier to claim our identities. It can still be difficult, but there is information available about different identities that wasn't before. It actually wasn't until I found out about nonbinary identities that I started to question my gender. The traditional "trapped in the wrong body" narrative never fit, so I didn't know my discomfort was about gender for a long time. When I realized it things started to fall into place. It has been an interesting journey so far, but I am happier than I have ever been.

[Tessa James]

I am very grateful to the people that came before me that made it easier to claim our identities. It can still be difficult, but there is information available about different identities that wasn't before. It actually wasn't until I found out about nonbinary identities that I started to question my gender. The traditional "trapped in the wrong body" narrative never fit, so I didn't know my discomfort was about gender for a long time. When I realized it things started to fall into place. It has been an interesting journey so far, but I am happier than I have ever been.

You and me friend!  I started back in 2013 and was in a euphoric dream state for the first 8 months

[BlueJaye]

I'm posting here because I think nonbinary is probably the only word that comes close to what I am. I have always felt weird about my male genitalia and male sexuality, but I don't have an overwhelming desire to look female. I have cross dressed a little bit in secret, but it made my depression worse because my build is all wrong for a woman. I just looked stupid wearing women's clothing and over time women's clothing stopped appealing to me. Especially after I got married. Women's clothing just became clothing.

Although I have many times felt that I would be more at ease in a female body, I look at the process of getting there and I just don't feel like I could handle it. It seems worse than dealing with the gender dysphoria I already deal with. Looking male and being male socially isn't all that terrible to me. I just get hung up on the sexuality part of being male, along some specific cultural expectations of males that I don't identify with.

In discussing my feelings with my therapist, she suggested that I should be open to the idea that I may be nonbinary. So, here I am posting on the nonbinary introduction board. I'm not totally sure what I should call myself.

[Tessa James]

Hey WAI,

You are not alone in finding more challenges than answers to your identity question. Non binary is fast becoming the general umbrella label many people can relate to.  Non binary may be where your personal and tailor made gender suit fits perfectly.

For some of us it may be a "fall back" position in that we may not be as strongly motivated to see ourselves transitioning to a distinct or stereotypical gender.  Some of us have less or little dysphoria about our body but find that gender roles are inconsistent with how we act and feel.  There are people here on Susan's, that i know very well, who have transitioned all the way through GCS but still identify as non binary.  Our body and the clothes we wear do not necessarily define us, right?

People can readily appear male and be quite feminine in their intimate world and the privacy of the bedroom.  We don't all advertise and certainly we know about judging books by the glossy cover jacket?  Hope you continue a successful journey to find your personal niche.

[Alíz]

I'm agender, presenting predominantly masculine.

I'm also an aromatic asexual.

I currently live in Hong Kong and hope to go to England for university (and maybe immigrate there because Hong Kong isn't the most accepting of non-binary identities).

I was AFAB and am also very short (around 4'10").

I plan to study mathematics at university.

I don't know what else to say so I'll end this here. Hello!

[Tessa James]

Welcome Aliz,

You gave us some personal information about yourself and i encourage you to expand and expound on any of the stimulating ideas that cross these pages.  Since over a quarter million folks "visit" this Place every month we can assume there is interest and a real need for people to express themselves about gender.

Agender or gender free is understandable to me.  When faced with that "what are you, a man or woman"? question i sometimes ask; why does that matter to you?

I hope you continue on to university.  As a college trustee I have seen education be the key to further lives in Transition.

[daltoid37]

Hi I'm new here, and I'm Dalton! I go by they/them pronouns, but I lean towards being more masculine.

I was born a girl, but with a very masculine name. I've learned that I don't like people calling me a girl (and being one) nor do I like specifically being male, which I learned after using male pronouns online for a while. So right now, my gender is specifically 'idk'