Get the information to taking the first steps, then. The low does you may decide to go for are very reversible during the first months to possibly a year. Maybe just a very lose dose of Spiro will give you an idea if decrease effects of testosterone is what you want. It doesn't take away the testosterone, it just blocks the receptors and only in full transition doses will the effects become irreversible after months or possibly longer. I was on a transition dose, freaked and backed down to very low maintenance after initially stopping for a week or so.
Now I'm in the middle of the dosage I was taking and the results feel right for me. Again, YMMV. It's what ever you want. I have found the effects of testosterone blocked is very much a soothing kind of thing. The underlying rage and surface anger are far more under control than with out Spiro. The side effects, the physical ones are negligible. But the T to E ratio works for me. I'm trying to decide on E, have been for 6 months now. I would expect some physical changes to take place. Am I ready for that? Probably. But, I have a genuine F you narcissistic personality that doesn't give a crap what others may think. To paraphrase Joan Jett, I don't give a damn about my reputation.
I just don't know if the benefits fit me as well I would hope they do. But, (there is always a but it seems) I know from many others experience that the inner peace is substantial. That's important. Having feminizing effects does nothing if you are not in a mental state to use and take care of them.
It's about you, not what others think or percieve you to be. Myself, I think screw'm. Let them get their own life. They probably need one, and when you have one and they don't, you're either right or wrong. Either observation from the peanut crowd means nothing. You do. You are who you are, you can stay the same or find out if you can be better. Make the decision. Take the time you need, but sooner or later, you'l need to make that decision.
My split personality of Non-Binary:
Keep on takin' your medication,
Lock that temper behind those pills
Your brain is fryin' insanely flyin'
Just remember it's bad to kill
I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho
Stop your growlin', no more prowlin'
Leave those cars and people alone
You're an animal, a human cannibal
Snarlin' and a snappin' like a dog on a bone
I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho
You terrify the neighbours when you scream and shout
You look like it's contagious, you're foaming at the mouth
You're a freakin' nightmare when you're lying in my bed
You sleep with eyes wide open, like the livin' dead
I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho
Ativan
